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I've had a fight with my father & family

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  • #1

    I've had a fight with my father & family

    I'm in an interesting position.


    I am in theory capable of doing what I want to and continue my studies. But since I unwisely singed off control of most of my assets (I was much younger then and never imagined things getting this bad, ever) to my father, I don't have the financial means to pay for this (in any case the money I had was mostly his to start with so this is less an issue than the lack of support from them).


    I'm almost 20, I don't have any money at all (just 300 EUR) and I'm late with the rent.


    I could work and find a job, but I don't know if I can make up on 2+ years of lost math & physics skills and pass this year and work 8 hours a day at the same time.I have great respect for people who can overcome such adversity but I don't know if I am one of them.

    The alternative I can follow my families wishes and redirect myself to a field I have very little interest in and also admit my father was right in the fight.



    Note: I don't think he was right, and though I am no saint I still feel a bit betrayed by them.


    PS: Factors on my side:

    -I'm a licensed driver once again
    - before this fight I was also able to get my C programing skills back (sort of)

    PPS: I need some advice rather quickly. Who should I be? "self made man who potentially becomes a hobo " or "tamed but well fed man"?
    0
    Poverty isn't that bad, and you'll feel all smug once you've made a succes of yourself no thanks to them
    0%
    0
    Listen to dad and continue as a tamed broken man
    0%
    0

    The poll is expired.

    Last edited by Heraclitus; September 21, 2008, 10:10.
    Modern man calls walking more quickly in the same direction down the same road “change.”
    The world, in the last three hundred years, has not changed except in that sense.
    The simple suggestion of a true change scandalizes and terrifies modern man. -Nicolás Gómez Dávila
    Tags: None
  • #2
    If you can find any way, do what you want, not what your family wants.

    Can't you get a small job just to continue studies, not full 5days/8hrs?

    /my xx cents.
    Blah

    Comment

    • #3
      You should compromise and figure out a way where you can keep heading towards where you want to go, while doing just enough to mollify your family in the direction they want you to go, to get control of your money back.
      <Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.
      I like your SNOOPY POSTER! - While you Wait quote.

      Comment

      • #4
        Be your own man; continue on your own path. Working in a field you hate will only make you even more bitter.

        You don't need to be enrolled in classes to maintain your skills. But some effort would b e required. If you feel strongly about this, you have to put your money where your mouth is.

        If you can find a compromise position as Snoopy suggests, great.

        Good luck!
        Apolyton's Grim Reaper 2008, 2010 & 2011
        RIP lest we forget... SG (2) and LaFayette -- Civ2 Succession Games Brothers-in-Arms

        Comment

        • #5
          do what you want, get a job if needed.
          you'll be more successful doing what you like than what doing what others want.
          sooner or later your parents should see that you're serious about it and cave in
          Co-Founder, Apolyton Civilization Site
          Co-Owner/Webmaster, Top40-Charts.com | CTO, Apogee Information Systems
          giannopoulos.info: my non-mobile non-photo news & articles blog

          Comment

          • #6
            Originally posted by BeBro
            If you can find any way, do what you want, not what your family wants.

            Can't you get a small job just to continue studies, not full 5days/8hrs?

            /my xx cents.

            I don't know, maybe I could get a job that for 20 h a week that would pay me enough to pay the rent and eat (something like 400 eur a month), the real problem is my skillset, with no diploma and I only have experience in silly jobs (things like telemarketing and working at walmart)
            Modern man calls walking more quickly in the same direction down the same road “change.”
            The world, in the last three hundred years, has not changed except in that sense.
            The simple suggestion of a true change scandalizes and terrifies modern man. -Nicolás Gómez Dávila

            Comment

            • #7
              It takes longer, but all my school was at night while working full-time, raising a new family,
              No one can tell you what's right for you, though.
              Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
              "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
              He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

              Comment

              • #8
                making your own decisions >> doing a silly job for a while
                Co-Founder, Apolyton Civilization Site
                Co-Owner/Webmaster, Top40-Charts.com | CTO, Apogee Information Systems
                giannopoulos.info: my non-mobile non-photo news & articles blog

                Comment

                • #9
                  Originally posted by MarkG
                  making your own decisions >> doing a silly job for a while
                  I agree but the question is whether I can get a silly grind job that pays enough to keep me fed and able to pay the rent while leaving enough time for my studies. The economy over here isn't in great shape currently.
                  Last edited by Heraclitus; September 21, 2008, 10:34.
                  Modern man calls walking more quickly in the same direction down the same road “change.”
                  The world, in the last three hundred years, has not changed except in that sense.
                  The simple suggestion of a true change scandalizes and terrifies modern man. -Nicolás Gómez Dávila

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Most people (at least in the States) have had their share of "silly jobs" while attending college. This is a non-issue.
                    I came upon a barroom full of bad Salon pictures in which men with hats on the backs of their heads were wolfing food from a counter. It was the institution of the "free lunch" I had struck. You paid for a drink and got as much as you wanted to eat. For something less than a rupee a day a man can feed himself sumptuously in San Francisco, even though he be a bankrupt. Remember this if ever you are stranded in these parts. ~ Rudyard Kipling, 1891

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Originally posted by -Jrabbit
                      Be your own man; continue on your own path. Working in a field you hate will only make you even more bitter.

                      You don't need to be enrolled in classes to maintain your skills. But some effort would b e required. If you feel strongly about this, you have to put your money where your mouth is.

                      If you can find a compromise position as Snoopy suggests, great.

                      Good luck!
                      Ok.


                      Seems most people here are for me pulling myself up, or at least starting to do what I want alone and hoping pater familias sees that I'm serious and changes his ways.
                      Modern man calls walking more quickly in the same direction down the same road “change.”
                      The world, in the last three hundred years, has not changed except in that sense.
                      The simple suggestion of a true change scandalizes and terrifies modern man. -Nicolás Gómez Dávila

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Originally posted by DanS
                        Most people (at least in the States) have had their share of "silly jobs" while attending college. This is a non-issue.
                        Well yes, I had those too, but never as a means to support myself, I mean normally they could but trying to attend college at the same time...


                        I think you don't realize how many expenses going to college completely on your own entails.
                        Modern man calls walking more quickly in the same direction down the same road “change.”
                        The world, in the last three hundred years, has not changed except in that sense.
                        The simple suggestion of a true change scandalizes and terrifies modern man. -Nicolás Gómez Dávila

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          vote communist and the State will take care of you, so you can screw dad


                          More seriously: dad has to let go of you. Choose your own path. Being a hobo isn't half as bad tas being your dad's pawn.

                          If you have to work to pay for your studies, pick a dumb manual labour job, so your mind can occupy itself with your studies.
                          "post reported"Winston, on the barricades for freedom of speech
                          "I don't like laws all over the world. Doesn't mean I am going to do anything but post about it."Jon Miller

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Also I think you missed the bit about me loosing my skills.


                            I think you don't appreciate how horrifying something like advanced physics can seem to someone who knows he understood the math before and did rather well but is now suddenly stuck with only a high schoolish level of understanding.



                            The time investment needed for me to be able to pass this year is considerable.
                            Modern man calls walking more quickly in the same direction down the same road “change.”
                            The world, in the last three hundred years, has not changed except in that sense.
                            The simple suggestion of a true change scandalizes and terrifies modern man. -Nicolás Gómez Dávila

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Originally posted by germanos

                              If you have to work to pay for your studies, pick a dumb manual labour job, so your mind can occupy itself with your studies.
                              People can do advanced quantum mechanics in their head while their body digs trenches?


                              That just made me feel very dumb.
                              Modern man calls walking more quickly in the same direction down the same road “change.”
                              The world, in the last three hundred years, has not changed except in that sense.
                              The simple suggestion of a true change scandalizes and terrifies modern man. -Nicolás Gómez Dávila

                              Comment

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