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Religionatheistafterlifethreadi

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  • #1

    Religionatheistafterlifethreadi

    Say you're religious, and after your demise you notice that you aren't where you believed you'd end up in, but in the ...uhm...afterlife environment of another religion. Like you're jew and end with teh muslim virgins or you're a christian and arrive in Hades. Or you're an atheist who didn't believe in anything of this and go to heaven or end up with the aliens or somesuch.

    What do you do? Where do you complain? Or do you just take everything how it comes....
    Blah
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  • #2
    How would we know?
    Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

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    • #3
      Wreak havoc so they'd fling me back to earth where I damn belong!
      "An archaeologist is the best husband a women can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her." - Agatha Christie
      "Non mortem timemus, sed cogitationem mortis." - Seneca

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      • #4
        So, that down payment I have for my snow cone stand in hell is no good?

        Ah well, complaining serves no purpose. But then, neither does "taking everything in". It's time to be DOING something. Like seeing about taking over the joint. Bound to be a bunch of disgruntled folk I could band under a 'new management' banner.
        One who has a surplus of the unorthodox shall attain surpassing victories. - Sun Pin
        You're wierd. - Krill

        An UnOrthOdOx Hobby

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        • #5
          Re: Religionatheistafterlifethreadi

          Originally posted by BeBro

          What do you do? Where do you complain? Or do you just take everything how it comes....
          Just start doing your own thing, and the people who don't like that will find you.
          I drank beer. I like beer. I still like beer. ... Do you like beer Senator?
          - Justice Brett Kavanaugh

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          • #6
            Re: Re: Religionatheistafterlifethreadi

            Kidicious wrote
            Just start doing your own thing...
            Do not under any circumstances attempt to fit in or be coerced into fitting in.
            I am on a mission to see how much coffee it takes to actually achieve time travel.

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            • #7
              First off I wouldn't be in Muslim heaven. And I think all the hells are the same.
              Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
              "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
              2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Ben Kenobi
                First off I wouldn't be in Muslim heaven.
                Seriously. 72 virgins for all eternity? That's good for what, 36 days? 72 days if you pace yourself? Obviously, heaven involves your own personal horny shape-shifter.
                You've just proven signature advertising works!

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                • #9
                  they automatically revirginize after each time. Of course it could be a mistranslation for raisins, which are also nice.

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                  • #10
                    Seriously. 72 virgins for all eternity? That's good for what, 36 days? 72 days if you pace yourself? Obviously, heaven involves your own personal horny shape-shifter.
                    Maybe your heaven.

                    I mean heaven forbid you have sex twice with the same woman.
                    Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
                    "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
                    2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!

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                    • #11
                      No, no, no, no. It's not 72 virgins, it's 72 "unblemished youths who will always remain unblemished no matter what you do to them." Basically you'll be surrounded by kids, not necessarily of the opposite sex, age not specified.
                      "I say shoot'em all and let God sort it out in the end!

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                      • #12
                        I'd go and talk to the one in charge. Someone clearly made a mistake.
                        Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.-Isaiah 41:10
                        I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made - Psalms 139.14a
                        Also active on WePlayCiv.

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                        • #13
                          I would become the most dutiful of followers of whatever faith happened to be the correct one.
                          Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
                          "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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                          • #14
                            OK, so I am an atheist and I find myself reincarnate in ... some red-ass baboon?
                            I guess I just take everything how it comes....
                            The books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world its own shame. Oscar Wilde.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Lorizael
                              I would become the most dutiful of followers of whatever faith happened to be the correct one.
                              The most sensible answer to date.

                              Reincarnation would be something different. I doubt I'd do well on that one.
                              It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
                              RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

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