I Signed Up To Ride A Bull Today

[Kidlicious]

Did you know that they have mechanical bulls? That might be something to think about before you get your ass trampled.

Seriously, that's cool though. Go for it.

[Tiamat]

Honey Steve and I watch Pro Bull riding every Friday night, never miss it. The other night the guy got hit so hard he went out cold and they carried him out on a board with a neck brace! So yeah, Good Luck to ya' there Sloww

[SlowwHand]

Let me tell you about my afternoon.

I met Summer over at my mom's. Summer, acting crappy at me. She tells me that she needs to take me in to be tested for dementia.
WHAT?!?
Dementia, dad. It's under the broad umbrella of Alzheimer's.
I KNOW WHAT IT IS! Jiminey crickets!

So I go outside and smoke, and come back in. Summer and my mom are just sitting there, looking at me.
I say it was Summer. It was a stranger daughter. She didn't look upset anymore. She didn't look like anything I'd ever seen. Just stting on this footstool. Ottoman. Whatever.
She says, "Let's get you some quickness and agility training going. You only have two weeks."

Now this is more like it, I'm thinking.

She tells me to lay down on my back on the floor. I suppose to simulate after the bull has shucked me from his back.
Ok, so I lay on my back and she says that when she says GO, I should roll over on my stomach, get my feet under me and take steps to move away.
That makes sense to me, so I lay on my back. I roll over, and just as I'm getting my right foot under me to launch myself forward while rising, I feel this weight crashing onto my back. Summer has dropped this big ottoman on my back. The frame hits my shoulder blade. and it pretty much knocks me flat.
I get up cussing. Stomping around.

Summer looks at my mom, and says that this turrets syndrome is completely a separate problem from demencia. Then she looks at me,and says how I need to mover faster.
I looked from her to my mother, and asked my mom, didn't she have anything to say? Mom nods, and says how Summer is right. I'm going to have to be a lot quicker.

Holy crap! Who are these people?

Summer says, let's try it again. Says remember, move quick.

I'm a little nervous by now, but I lay down on my back again. THIS time, I roll to my right 2 complete revolutions and I'm still on my back when I stop rolling. I'm thinking I'm pretty crafty, as I'm rolling. When I get stopped rolling and I'm looking up, here comes this ottoman dropping towards my face. A sound came out of me that can only be described by me as an "Eek". I throw my arms up and it doesn't hit me in the face, but again, the frame. This time on the ulna bone. and it stings.

I push it off of me and look for Summer. She's got this dead look still going on in her eyes. No expression. However, she says, Well, that was pretty quick.

Well, forget this.

Yeah, she says. We have two weeks. Take a rest for today. I need to be getting back home. I'll be back tomorrow.
She gave me a hug, got in her car and left.

I looked at my mom, and she just went .
So I just gave her a hug and I left, too.
This is not turning out like I thought it would, already.

[MOBIUS]

Originally posted by SlowwHand
turrets syndrome

[Kidlicious]

Was she serious?

[chequita guevara]

[Colon™]

I'm liking Summer.

[Nugog]

Good Luck Sloww!

[Lancer]

Ottoman 2, Sloww 0.

She should learn not to mistreat the furniture like that.

[Theben]

Originally posted by SlowwHand
She tells me that she needs to take me in to be tested for dementia.

Haven't we been telling you that for years?

[SlowwHand]

You have to understand. Summer has always done what I've told her. She makes jokes about saying, "I'm not going to do it", as she started to do it. Just token rebellion. This is my nintendo buddy, for gawd's sake.
Now, she's dropping furniture on me. She's getting to be more and more like her mother.

[Lancer]

Huh. All things considered maybe the bull won't be that much of a challenge.

[MOBIUS]

Originally posted by SlowwHand
Now, she's dropping furniture on me. She's getting to be more and more like her mother.

She had a habit of dropping furniture on you? Sounds like a match made in heaven!

[Tiamat]

Was she raised on WWF? Sonds like she's just trying to get her OLD man in shape. Look you and I are both from Texas and know what a bull can do to you!! She's just gettin' you warmed up Wait till she starts throwing the coffe table at you, then you have problems my friend!

[MOBIUS]

I agree, if you can't handle and Ottoman or a coffee table, you might as well cut your losses now...

Just wait till she booby traps the fridge and innocently mentions she's stocked it with some of your favourite beers...