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So as some of you might know, I've been doing horribly for the last couple of months. As in really bad. I've been on sick leave for... more than a month now. Slowly getting back though. I was diagnosed with severe burn out and also depression. I just kept pushing hard when I was way too tired for way too long. Then many negative things happened in a row so it got me where I am today. I was also lonely because I moved to a new place so I couldn't cope with the situation.
However, so there's a positive thing in my life as well now. Thought I'd let you know. There's a girl who shown interest in me. She's really nice. It's this weird luck that I got into this situation, because I wouldn't have connected with her unless I was exactly in this situation. Even though she contacted me, I think I wouldn't have continued on because I would have been too intimidated by her. It is a rare occasion for me to be intimidated by a person, but in this case it would have most likely happened and I would have made an excuse not to continue. But since I was very lonely and in torture, I simply didn't care.
It was good, because I was totally honest from the get go, as in I told her about my situation and that I'm sick. Because I didn't care. Frankly, I thought she'd be turned off by those things anyway and while turning off, I'd still get some company. Better than nothing, right? But she never turned off. So I decided to be a straight shooter. I said things I'd never say, ever, like a list of things I'm into. Not a normal list but like do you want babies, you know if you don't ever want babies then I'm not into it because the next thing I'm looking for is for the long haul, perhaps even permanent. I'm tired of joking around, I'm looking for that one person. So she said yeah, she wants babies. Not right now, but she wants babies. And still wasn't turned off. So I kept going on like that, and it turns out we like the same things.
She's really nice and caring and a loving person. She has sent me messages every single day and we have connected on some level already. I'm still a bit incapable of normal feelings, but I'm starting to grow them for her. Amazing support, also, she's amazing. So why is she intimidating? Well, she's 24, she's already in a fairly high position in a multinational, she's the type that already travels all the time. But she's just 24. She's intelligent (obviously), and lots of fun. She is succesful, and she has a great personality. She is a good communicator, we've talked about extmreley personal stuff, like emotions, fears, anxiety, caring and so forth, we still talk a lto about it. She is also very beautiful, and it wouldn't matter to me at this point because I like her already, but I coudl mention she is very fit as former decorated national level cheerleader
And gym instructor and so forth. She's one of them rare girls that are into fitness like 24/7. So she is beautiful and happens to fill that not so important to me but still nice, because that's exactly what I'm into, if you think about looks.
But most importantly we have had an emotional connection. I just like her man and she likes me. She thinks I'm weird but she likes that We know each other pretty good at this point and she has waited for me all this time because I've said I'm not ready yet. She has proven herself to me, she is still waiting and not even pressuring me. The only bad part is that she lives quite far away from me, but that's definitely not a problem for the both of us. I mean, you know how you want a girl who likes Kung Fu and Dr. pepper? I mean like weird combos, but she likes things that are just plain outstanding, and most of them she said first, so I know she wasn't playing it. We have very similar music taste, half of the movies we both have on DVD, we like have the same collection almost, it's weird man. And I've got some weird ass movies too. Get this, she actually KNEW what I'm doing for a profession, when I said the term. The first thing she said cool, I've read Art of Deception, which is the book that inspired me to start doing this in the first place. It seems like all I say or she says, we already know or have been thinkinga bout it. Well those things are most likely just coincidences, but there's lots of them and it just tells me that we like similar things or are at least drawn to same sort of fields. So it's very easy to cheer her up, because I know what she likes easily. And she does the same to me so easily.
Of course the real connection is deeper. Those were just superficial examples. Now her words are very personal. You just kind of know when things are getting very personal, even though you've been personal already for a long time, but there's another notch and you can feel it. The best part is that we've been bothj completely open, because she is also looking for the permanent one and she has locked her eyes on me for some weird reason. I've got such a good feelign about her. She's had similar experiences as I have, she was cheated the last time and it's been a while now for her as well so she isn't looking for anything else but a real lasting relationship now and is a bit tired about it all. We're on the same page, we've talked hours and hours about what a realtionships means to the both of us and .. we just communicate very well. There's nothing I couldn't say to her. So this is something very positive in my life right now that hopefully materializes into a real relationship. THe reason we're taking it slow is because well, I'm sort of handicapped now, but also because we're both looking for that real thing, and we've agreed that it takes time and let's just move slowly. But I'm starting to have feelings for her, like I'm really drawn to her at this point
However, so there's a positive thing in my life as well now. Thought I'd let you know. There's a girl who shown interest in me. She's really nice. It's this weird luck that I got into this situation, because I wouldn't have connected with her unless I was exactly in this situation. Even though she contacted me, I think I wouldn't have continued on because I would have been too intimidated by her. It is a rare occasion for me to be intimidated by a person, but in this case it would have most likely happened and I would have made an excuse not to continue. But since I was very lonely and in torture, I simply didn't care.
It was good, because I was totally honest from the get go, as in I told her about my situation and that I'm sick. Because I didn't care. Frankly, I thought she'd be turned off by those things anyway and while turning off, I'd still get some company. Better than nothing, right? But she never turned off. So I decided to be a straight shooter. I said things I'd never say, ever, like a list of things I'm into. Not a normal list but like do you want babies, you know if you don't ever want babies then I'm not into it because the next thing I'm looking for is for the long haul, perhaps even permanent. I'm tired of joking around, I'm looking for that one person. So she said yeah, she wants babies. Not right now, but she wants babies. And still wasn't turned off. So I kept going on like that, and it turns out we like the same things.
She's really nice and caring and a loving person. She has sent me messages every single day and we have connected on some level already. I'm still a bit incapable of normal feelings, but I'm starting to grow them for her. Amazing support, also, she's amazing. So why is she intimidating? Well, she's 24, she's already in a fairly high position in a multinational, she's the type that already travels all the time. But she's just 24. She's intelligent (obviously), and lots of fun. She is succesful, and she has a great personality. She is a good communicator, we've talked about extmreley personal stuff, like emotions, fears, anxiety, caring and so forth, we still talk a lto about it. She is also very beautiful, and it wouldn't matter to me at this point because I like her already, but I coudl mention she is very fit as former decorated national level cheerleader
And gym instructor and so forth. She's one of them rare girls that are into fitness like 24/7. So she is beautiful and happens to fill that not so important to me but still nice, because that's exactly what I'm into, if you think about looks. But most importantly we have had an emotional connection. I just like her man and she likes me. She thinks I'm weird but she likes that
We know each other pretty good at this point and she has waited for me all this time because I've said I'm not ready yet. She has proven herself to me, she is still waiting and not even pressuring me. The only bad part is that she lives quite far away from me, but that's definitely not a problem for the both of us. I mean, you know how you want a girl who likes Kung Fu and Dr. pepper? I mean like weird combos, but she likes things that are just plain outstanding, and most of them she said first, so I know she wasn't playing it. We have very similar music taste, half of the movies we both have on DVD, we like have the same collection almost, it's weird man. And I've got some weird ass movies too. Get this, she actually KNEW what I'm doing for a profession, when I said the term. The first thing she said cool, I've read Art of Deception, which is the book that inspired me to start doing this in the first place. It seems like all I say or she says, we already know or have been thinkinga bout it. Well those things are most likely just coincidences, but there's lots of them and it just tells me that we like similar things or are at least drawn to same sort of fields. So it's very easy to cheer her up, because I know what she likes easily. And she does the same to me so easily. Of course the real connection is deeper. Those were just superficial examples. Now her words are very personal. You just kind of know when things are getting very personal, even though you've been personal already for a long time, but there's another notch and you can feel it. The best part is that we've been bothj completely open, because she is also looking for the permanent one and she has locked her eyes on me for some weird reason. I've got such a good feelign about her. She's had similar experiences as I have, she was cheated the last time and it's been a while now for her as well so she isn't looking for anything else but a real lasting relationship now and is a bit tired about it all. We're on the same page, we've talked hours and hours about what a realtionships means to the both of us and .. we just communicate very well. There's nothing I couldn't say to her. So this is something very positive in my life right now that hopefully materializes into a real relationship. THe reason we're taking it slow is because well, I'm sort of handicapped now, but also because we're both looking for that real thing, and we've agreed that it takes time and let's just move slowly. But I'm starting to have feelings for her, like I'm really drawn to her at this point
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