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Can you do better than Jesus?

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  • Can you do better than Jesus?

    There must be over fifty thousand, screaming love and more for you,
    Everyone of these fifty thousand will do whatever you ask him to.
    Keep them yelling their devotion, but add a touch of hate at Rome,
    We will rise to a greater power, we will win ourselves a home!
    As we all know, Jesus Christ Superstar refused to use 50000 zealots and chose to die at a cross instead. But what if?
    Let's say you're a modern prophet and there are 50000 zealous followers of yours. According to the song, they are all male, so let's assume that there are 50000 more female zealots, most of them wives/girlfriends of your male followers. All of them are not minors. Let's also assume they quite accurately represent the society of the place you live in - they're not all soldiers, or all professional drivers, though there are probably some among their ranks.
    They're all completely devoted to you - you are their god. You word is a sacred order to them.
    If you live in a large metropolitan area, they all live there as well. If not, they're spread across the county/state/province/bundesland. If you live in a country that's that small, don't bother to reply. In general, try to pick an area that contains at least a million residents.
    The government knows about you, and a little bird told you something bad is going to happen to you in 30 days. Something bad as in ATF riddling your body with bullets and planting 20 tons of illegally imported tobacco on your body. Something like that.
    The question is: what is the best you can do? Fail like Branch Davidian or Jim Jones? Or do you think you can do better? What will be your plan?
    Graffiti in a public toilet
    Do not require skill or wit
    Among the **** we all are poets
    Among the poets we are ****.

  • #2
    If I am a god, then what concern of mine is the ATF? I will manipulate them to fill my needs.
    "I am sick and tired of people who say that if you debate and you disagree with this administration somehow you're not patriotic. We should stand up and say we are Americans and we have a right to debate and disagree with any administration." - Hillary Clinton, 2003

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    • #3
      What makes you think He didn't?

      BTW, all this thread is going to do is sound a call for the atheists to come running, and it will turn into just another bull**** session.
      Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
      "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
      He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

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      • #4
        I would tell them they aren't listening very well if they're zealots. Then I'd go get a hammock on a beach somewhere.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by PLATO
          If I am a god, then what concern of mine is the ATF? I will manipulate them to fill my needs.
          You're not a god, you're a prophet.
          Graffiti in a public toilet
          Do not require skill or wit
          Among the **** we all are poets
          Among the poets we are ****.

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          • #6
            Fin the one among them who is a plastic surgeon and get him to make another of the zealots into my double and go into hiding with 12 of the most beautful female zealots.
            You just wasted six ... no, seven ... seconds of your life reading this sentence.

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            • #7
              I would turn water into vodka instead of wine.
              THEY!!111 OMG WTF LOL LET DA NOMADS AND TEH S3D3NTARY PEOPLA BOTH MAEK BITER AXP3REINCES
              AND TEH GRAAT SINS OF THERE [DOCTRINAL] INOVATIONS BQU3ATH3D SMAL
              AND!!1!11!!! LOL JUST IN CAES A DISPUTANT CALS U 2 DISPUT3 ABOUT THEYRE CLAMES
              DO NOT THAN DISPUT3 ON THEM 3XCAPT BY WAY OF AN 3XTARNAL DISPUTA!!!!11!! WTF

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by LordShiva
                I would turn water into vodka instead of wine.
                Heathen. Beer!
                I make no bones about my moral support for [terrorist] organizations. - chegitz guevara
                For those who aspire to live in a high cost, high tax, big government place, our nation and the world offers plenty of options. Vermont, Canada and Venezuela all offer you the opportunity to live in the socialist, big government paradise you long for. –Senator Rubio

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                • #9
                  THEY!!111 OMG WTF LOL LET DA NOMADS AND TEH S3D3NTARY PEOPLA BOTH MAEK BITER AXP3REINCES
                  AND TEH GRAAT SINS OF THERE [DOCTRINAL] INOVATIONS BQU3ATH3D SMAL
                  AND!!1!11!!! LOL JUST IN CAES A DISPUTANT CALS U 2 DISPUT3 ABOUT THEYRE CLAMES
                  DO NOT THAN DISPUT3 ON THEM 3XCAPT BY WAY OF AN 3XTARNAL DISPUTA!!!!11!! WTF

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by LordShiva
                    I would turn water into vodka instead of wine.
                    No wonder ATF is after you.
                    Graffiti in a public toilet
                    Do not require skill or wit
                    Among the **** we all are poets
                    Among the poets we are ****.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      ATF



                      "So what does ATF stand for?"
                      "Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives"
                      "And what else does you sell?"
                      THEY!!111 OMG WTF LOL LET DA NOMADS AND TEH S3D3NTARY PEOPLA BOTH MAEK BITER AXP3REINCES
                      AND TEH GRAAT SINS OF THERE [DOCTRINAL] INOVATIONS BQU3ATH3D SMAL
                      AND!!1!11!!! LOL JUST IN CAES A DISPUTANT CALS U 2 DISPUT3 ABOUT THEYRE CLAMES
                      DO NOT THAN DISPUT3 ON THEM 3XCAPT BY WAY OF AN 3XTARNAL DISPUTA!!!!11!! WTF

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Aeson
                        I would tell them they aren't listening very well if they're zealots. Then I'd go get a hammock on a beach somewhere.
                        Libraries are state sanctioned, so they're technically engaged in privateering. - Felch
                        I thought we're trying to have a serious discussion? It says serious in the thread title!- Al. B. Sure

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                        • #13
                          What will be your plan?
                          "One is coming who's sandals I am not fit to untie."
                          Scouse Git (2) La Fayette Adam Smith Solomwi and Loinburger will not be forgotten.
                          "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for..."
                          2015 APOLYTON FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION!

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