tips and secrets of success with women

[LordShiva]

What if she's a lesbian?

[Fake Boris]

Originally posted by LordShiva


This is actually teh opposite of what works.

QFT

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by aneeshm
There is only one "secret" to success with women, and it isn't much of a secret, either. It's simple:

Be a MAN!

Men, as a group, are getting more women than any other group operating today.

-Jerry Seinfeld

[Alinestra Covelia]

The Austin Powers character was named "Basil".

To pick up women, all you need are decent muscles. Or in the case of really big women, forklifts.

[Jon Miller]

Lift with your legs, not your back.

JM

[Zkribbler]

Originally posted by Alinestra Covelia
To pick up women, all you need are decent muscles. Or in the case of really big women, forklifts.

QFT

Son: Dad, can I have the car tonight? I have a heavy date.
Dad: If she's so heavy, you'd better take the truck.

[CrONoS]

[Blake]

Originally posted by MarkG
what do buddhist monks have to do with women?

I learn from them ;-).

Women, through nature or the average nurturing, have a better instinctive understand of loving-kindness and compassion (basically, kindness, caring and generally nurturing).
These are exceedingly important qualities to Buddhists (and anyone who wants to find true happiness rather than cheap thrills).

And so, I learn from women. Which always confuses them. But women are confused about pretty much everything (no less so than men, though) so no big deal.


But women are fascinating. You know why it's so much fun to touch a woman's breasts and butt? Like "nice! I wanna touch that!". It's because when a woman is touched, she gets hornier (at least if the affection is welcome), and the more sensitive the part of the body is which is touched, the hornier she gets.
It is basically an evolved instinct of men to touch women, because it leads to reproduction, as it's an evolved instinct of women to get horny when touched, because it leads to reproduction.

However because touching women does invoke such strong emotions in them - like a compulsion, they get very, very upset when the touching is unwelcome, to the extent that it can be deeply traumatic for them.

The rule for this, if you wish to have sex with these creatures for some reason, is to let them touch you first. That indicates they are receptive to the "hornification" process, it's their signal (touch-you-touch-me), and you can basically build from there (the hornier she gets, the less control she has and the more she starts touching you, and the more you can touch her without offending her). It's just a positive feedback spiral. Oh also, this is why women love foreplay - they love the "building up" at least as much, probably more, than the final act, because it's the building up which truly thrills them. The emotions, are powerful, dangerous and exciting.


Anyway as I understood more and more about women, I got more and more into Celibacy. I'd not hit that, I'd not even touch it. I'd prefer everyone keep their mental faculties.

[Zkribbler]

2-Step Process:

1) Make lots of money
2) Lavish it on women.

[Cartimandua]

I think respect would go a long way toward getting a woman.

[Cartimandua]

And maybe some jewelry and roses

[Nostromo]

Re: tips and secrets of success with women

Originally posted by MarkG
[disclaimer]i found an ad for this on the #50 comedy sketches article[/disclaimer]

now on to the issues

Who on earth buys these books?!??


and wasnt bassil a character in Austin Powers?

People who wasted their teens and their early adulthood playing stupid video games and never got to learn the social skills necessary to approach the ladies, that's who. And, no, I ain't pointing any fingers.

[LordShiva]

Originally posted by Zkribbler
2-Step Process:

1) Make lots of money
2) Lavish it on women.

Part 2 isn't even necessary

[Ben Kenobi]

So when will your robodate be on the market Blake?

[Rufus T. Firefly]

It's a sure bet that the secret of success with women will not be revealed during an internet gaming board discussion of the secret of success with women.