After a year and a half, estranged from my best friend

[BlackCat]

IF HK had been a female and BPW had been male, would it had been similiar disturbing ?

Though, BPW sounds like something escaped from hell that only a mother or a nut could love. HK isn't some lovesick teenager but a full grown man (maybe a bit immature), but it's his life and it doesn't sound like he is doing this unwillingly.

That she is that much older than he doesn't really mean much considering the manipulation - I know a couple or two of manipulating *****es that are equal or younger than me (well, considering my age, it's not that peculiar and it gets worse every day )

To me it sounds like you are offended because he does something you don't like and that he is on the road to disaster. Well, fine, be offended, but stop interfering - it's his life, not yours.

If it ends in a mess and you still consider him as a friend, well, then support him but drop any kind of gloating.

[Pekka]

Oerdin, again agreed. Especially when getting pregnant. THat's not normal, that is bat**** crazy. That's psycho. I really mean it, that is insanity at display, the kind you don't want to hang around for too long. In fact that's scary.

My quick analysis says she has had trauma or some kind of other experience where she was very submissive or uncertain about herself. Maybe she was totally dominated by her parents and friends earlier, like totally dominated. Then she grew up, and figured it is easy to dominate people if you just have the nuts for it. Just demand and appear strong.

At some point people became toys to her, something she can own. But it's going to be Jekyll and Hyde about the control issue to her for the rest of her life. And that is insanity if it takes forms like the pregnancy thing etc. To me, thjat's dangerous and she won't be a good mother. I feel sorry for the baby already. It's like a cycle that will continue with the new generation.

[DaShi]

I think AC's boyfriend has it right. HK's just a dim bulb incapable of making decisions himself. That he had an atari handheld should have been the first clue. BWP is a security blanket for him. He might not be happy about it, but the world outside of it has become too frightening and confusing for him that he's unable to escape. Actually, he's probably in the best place for him.

Now I dated an older woman once for 1 week. On day 2, she would not leave me apartment. This of course sent warning flags all over the place. Even after I broke it off, she kept trying to find excuses to see me again. And she was only 1 month older than me.

[Pekka]

dashi, and that's why friends protect each other. Social darwinism

That's similar to the argument where someone gets their stuff stolen because they forgot to lock the door adn somehow "they deserved it". Or someone was an idiot so no wonder they got what they got and it's almost OK. Well, it's not OK, at least I think it isn't, and if you can do something about it, you should. Even if you can't bother, I still wouldn't say people deserved it unless they really asked for it, and I don't know HK enough to say he asked for it. I think he didn't exactly ask for this.

[DaShi]

They did what they could. Even if this kid did escape, he'd probably be hit by a car or eat something toxic from the garbage.

[Pekka]

Right, so are you being rational here or just disrespectful? Since we can safely outrule rational, it just leaves disrespectful.

[DaShi]

Alittle of both actually. I agree than they should do what they can. And they have. But if HK isn't willing to help himself, they're options are limited. Than and HK is an idiot. It's sad, but true. My above post simply compared his personality to than of a dog. Which is exactly how he's behaved in this regard.

[Dinner]

Originally posted by DaShi
I think AC's boyfriend has it right. HK's just a dim bulb incapable of making decisions himself. That he had an atari handheld should have been the first clue. BWP is a security blanket for him. He might not be happy about it, but the world outside of it has become too frightening and confusing for him that he's unable to escape. Actually, he's probably in the best place for him.

Now I dated an older woman once for 1 week. On day 2, she would not leave me apartment. This of course sent warning flags all over the place. Even after I broke it off, she kept trying to find excuses to see me again. And she was only 1 month older than me.

I dated a woman 9 years older then me for a year and a half (last 6 months were off and on though) and I've dated a girl 8 years younger then me for around 8 months. Age isn't the issue. Lying about serious matters, age & pregnancy, are along with just being a generally unpleasant person to be around. Screw that, life is short, and there are to many nice girls to spend your time with.

[Pekka]

Well I wasn't talkinga bout busting him out. Clearly they've tried it several times.

I meant being supportive, as in if he contacts, then you could still interact and not say, "call me back when you're out". You can always do that. And if I'm really good friends with someone and they're being "dogs", I don't care. People make mistakes. They make long mistakes as well. If you want perfect friends, hey, good for you.

[LordShiva]

*than

[DaShi]

Oops! Right, sorry.

[DaShi]

Originally posted by Pekka
Well I wasn't talkinga bout busting him out. Clearly they've tried it several times.

I meant being supportive, as in if he contacts, then you could still interact and not say, "call me back when you're out". You can always do that. And if I'm really good friends with someone and they're being "dogs", I don't care. People make mistakes. They make long mistakes as well. If you want perfect friends, hey, good for you.

Well, than we agree to agree.

[BlackCat]

Oerdin, Where do you get the lying part from ? It was AC that later foud out how old she was - no mention of HK didn't knew it.

As for the pill, well, that trick has been used by women for centuries - it might even be true.

[Proteus_MST]

Originally posted by BlackCat
...
As for the pill, well, that trick has been used by women for centuries

That´s something I definitely doubt

[BlackCat]

Originally posted by Proteus_MST


That´s something I definitely doubt

Well, call it secure period etc - claiming that some poor guy is the father of a child has been one of womens most deadly wapons through history.