Being a good person.

[FrostyBoy]

I was born and raised in Christchurch, New Zealand, my parents were semi-hippie's when I was born, entering the world at 1979.

My childhood life has been very good, very well balanced. My mum (mom) took care of me left right and center and my Dad and relatives taught me great insights of the world. When I was 5, Dad presented to me Superman, which of course, awed me, watching those movies, reading those comics, jaw-dropping stuff. Superman is, who I wanted to be.

Anyway, on to the real point of this thread; I have, throughout my life, been mostly a good person and have not done anything a Christian would claim to be sinful and I have maintained that up until about 3 months ago. I'm losing it, losing my ability to be good-hearted. I'm failing, the world is getting too tough, the instincts are getting too needy and I don't recognise myself when I look in the mirror anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed, I am more confident than I have ever been - thanks to experiencing things I have avoided my entire life. Sure, it's great to have that experience, but the baggage of knowing I have done things I did not want to do is heavy to carry.

One problem is, I am getting worse as days go by, I am relaxing into this new world of "anything goes", I fear that I will lose what is good about me, and become what I don't want to become. Is all of this a necessary evil? Can I stop what I am doing, and go back to who I was and still continue to succeed, still continue to be confident and be happy with my humble life that I had not long ago?

Anyone else here experienced these phases?

[Verto]

The end justifies the means.

[SlowwHand]

Everyone is tempted, Snoopster.

[FrostyBoy]

I know everyone is tempted, but can it be avoided and should I/we?

[SlowwHand]

No, you can't avoid it entirely. Temptation is necessary.
Turning it away makes you stronger.
Just like bad is necessary. Without bad, we'd have no basis of comparison to know good.

[Dinner]

Translation: Snoopy finaly got laid (or smoked a reefer) and now he thinks he's going to hell. Look, you're not going to hell. Just let go off the religious nonsense and treat others how you would want to be treated. It's not that hard.

[Dis]

I take it you don't want to go into detail of what you have done? It's tough to judge without a little more info.

Did you have to be an ******* to move up in your career? Or is it worse like stealing?

I'm just the opposite. I'm becoming more good as I get older. I used to be an uncaring sonuva*****. But I do have selfish reasons for caring as well. I like the appreciation I get from other people. It feels good inside.

[CrONoS]

Re: Being a good person.

I'm presently 26y old, I remember, at 22y old, one night I had a dreams. I was living under the ground, in a big mine, an earthquake began and I said(in my dreams); I should go up, I should always go up. When I got outside, I was on an small island who was an Inca pyramid. The pyramid was being destroyed, and I jump on a small piece of marble who was floating on the water. After this, I was floating on the ocean, with other people around me in the situation, and on the horizon there was nothing on my sight. Far away, an Island appear, surrounded from a big wall. There is nothing we can't do to enter excepted, there was a door, but to open the door, you needed to jump into the water and took a small key. I finally was able to open the door, and I landed on the tropical Island. (Where two young people were met me and said:" welcome here, there are only young people living on the island")

Why, do I tell you this dreams?

After this dreams, in my "real" life, all things in which I believe, my value, my ideals, what I was calling "good" were destroyed. Over 5-6 months I became, literally a nihilist! I began to drink, I was acting in a weird way with girl, I had pretty weird idea, I felt for the first time, some "criminal" instinct inside of me. But during this "depression" or this time "when all things in which you believe are destroyed". I said to myself; one day it will be over. One day, I'll be able to have faith in life, to found value , one day I'll be good again, or I will be able to live in harmony with myself. One day, I'll be a "new" man, this "test" will be over.

And now, year later, I could say, after suffering from 2y of deep depression, being attacked or flooded by my Shadow; where sometimes I was able to say, I'll go ****ing crazy! Now, I can look at my life and say: By luck I had these times, because now, I become a man. Maybe even, a free man!

Anyway; this is a common thing for man. For many people it will happen during their forty's. I can be wrong, but I could called it as the confrontation of your shadow and your consciousness.

Only being able to integrate your shadow in your personality, without letting him win, you will be able to gain peace.

I wish it can help you...

Originally posted by Sn00py
I was born and raised in Christchurch, New Zealand, my parents were semi-hippie's when I was born, entering the world at 1979.

My childhood life has been very good, very well balanced. My mum (mom) took care of me left right and center and my Dad and relatives taught me great insights of the world. When I was 5, Dad presented to me Superman, which of course, awed me, watching those movies, reading those comics, jaw-dropping stuff. Superman is, who I wanted to be.

Anyway, on to the real point of this thread; I have, throughout my life, been mostly a good person and have not done anything a Christian would claim to be sinful and I have maintained that up until about 3 months ago. I'm losing it, losing my ability to be good-hearted. I'm failing, the world is getting too tough, the instincts are getting too needy and I don't recognise myself when I look in the mirror anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed, I am more confident than I have ever been - thanks to experiencing things I have avoided my entire life. Sure, it's great to have that experience, but the baggage of knowing I have done things I did not want to do is heavy to carry.

One problem is, I am getting worse as days go by, I am relaxing into this new world of "anything goes", I fear that I will lose what is good about me, and become what I don't want to become. Is all of this a necessary evil? Can I stop what I am doing, and go back to who I was and still continue to succeed, still continue to be confident and be happy with my humble life that I had not long ago?

Anyone else here experienced these phases?

[FrostyBoy]

Originally posted by Oerdin
Translation: Snoopy finaly got laid (or smoked a reefer) and now he thinks he's going to hell. Look, you're not going to hell. Just let go off the religious nonsense and treat others how you would want to be treated. It's not that hard.

um Oerdin, sorry, but your entire post is false.

edit: sorry, the last part is not.

[FrostyBoy]

Interesting dream cronos.

I wonder, if "becoming a man" requires you to do what we are told is wrong? To pass through the jungle alone and exit with confidence that you are prepared to take on the world?

If you are innocent your entire life, will you ever be confident to take on the world?

[Dis]

Originally posted by Sn00py
Interesting dream cronos.

I wonder, if "becoming a man" requires you to do what we are told is wrong? To pass through the jungle alone and exit with confidence that you are prepared to take on the world?

If you are innocent your entire life, will you ever be confident to take on the world?

What to you is wrong though? From a christian perspective? Or from a law perspective?

One shouldn't always be meek. You should stand up for yourself, your family and friends. But just don't go being rude and pushing people around for the hell of it just to make yourself feel better.

[CrONoS]

Originally posted by Sn00py
Interesting dream cronos.

I wonder, if "becoming a man" requires you to do what we are told is wrong?

I don't know, I think there is no human who can affirm that he is free from evil, greed, fear, etc... You have to be conscious of your bad instinct, without being flooded by them.

If we can compare your " bad instinct" as wild beast, you have to domesticate your bad instinct. One things for sure, becoming a man, is a ****ing great task, is the task of your life.

To pass through the jungle alone and exit with confidence that you are prepared to take on the world?
If you are innocent your entire life, will you ever be confident to take on the world?

... I don't think, you can be innocent your entire life. I think it's impossible or undesirable! Who wants to be a children, all his life?

Without being conscious of his environments, of himself and not developing his potentials?

[Aeson]

Originally posted by Sn00py
I wonder, if "becoming a man" requires you to do what we are told is wrong?

Progressing requires questioning what you hold as right/wrong. Actually doing what you've been told is wrong is not really useful unless you've already determined it's not wrong. (Relative to whatever your personal definition of "wrong" is.)

[CrONoS]

@Snoopy

If you like reading; maybe take a look on these books:

Jung on Evil

http://www.amazon.com/Jung-Evil-C-G/dp/0691026173/sr=1-1/qid=1164687986/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-0197465-6068171?ie=UTF8&s=books

Psychology of the Unconscious: A Study of the Transformations and Symbolisms of the Libido.

http://www.amazon.com/Psychology-Unconscious-Transformations-Symbolisms-Libido/dp/0691090254/sr=1-2/qid=1164687945/ref=pd_bbs_2/102-0197465-6068171?ie=UTF8&s=books

[FrostyBoy]

Thanks, now that I finally have a credit card, I might just look at ordering some books.