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**SlowwHand** · August 14, 2006, 17:31

Just some ideas.
Get a pet. Pets are known to cause a relaxing and happy effect.

Move to rural. The hustle and bustle of city life stresses.

Exercise. Personally, I find this idea disgusting, but some do exercises of some kind.

Compare your current situation to a time in your life that REALLy sucked. Then you can know, Hey. This isn't so bad.

**Ecthy** · August 14, 2006, 17:33

Get more laid back by getting laid more

**Pekka** · August 14, 2006, 17:33

Start growing your own pot and smoke it. Listen to some slow music or otherwise classics like bob marley and the doors.. or electronic music like some smooth ambient.

**Spec** · August 14, 2006, 17:34

Originally posted by Ecthy
Get more laid back by getting laid more

Exactly my thought. It also makes you happy.

Weed also helps alot. I was getting to laid back in my younger years, so I stopped...well....dimished quite a bit.

Spec.

**Dis** · August 14, 2006, 18:04

Originally posted by Ecthy
Get more laid back by getting laid more

my thoughts exactly.

but it's tough to get laid when you aren't laid back.

**Dis** · August 14, 2006, 18:07

I definately can't help the OP. I'm too tense as well. Though not nearly as bad as John. I'm the Fonz (happy days reference fyi) compared to him.

It's easy for me to be laid back at home, but it's when I'm around people I get nervous.

One girl told me I need to get laid. I said I always need to get laid. I'm not sure if that would help me or not.

**Spiffor** · August 14, 2006, 18:35

Listen to Sloww, he is wise and right

As for exercize, I'd advise long-lasting and slow exercize, such as long walks or long swims. When I feel like getting calmer, I really enjoy swimming for hours (no harsh exercize intended: just spending time swimming, and being alone with my thoughts).

I'd also advise you to generally wonder where your anxiety comes from. A constant state of anxiety likely is deeply rooted in your own insecurities, and you might want to know (or to feel) what these insecurities are before thinking about how to solve them.

Personally, while I've never been as nervous as you describe, I used to be much less laid back than I'm now (I'm 25, and I was most nervous at 17). Here's my experience, maybe yours has similar elements, maybe not, but here goes anyway:

I was most nervous back when I tried to conform to a group for which I wasn't fit: I didn't have the same culture, I didn't have the same values, I was brand new to the group and wanted to have the same friendships as old members had between each other. And I felt rejected, and as such I made constant efforts in that social setting, making me generally unsure.
This anxiety didn't only come from the fact that I felt I didn't fit, it also came from the fact that I thought I sucked. I felt ugly, boring, and the usual slew of complexes many teens have.

In order to get rid of this anxiety, I went through two aspects:
1. I encountered a group of friends in which I really fit, in which I'm accepted and liked for who I am. These guys are geeks, but they're the ones who made me feel good among people

2. It took some years, but I accepted who I am, both in terms of body and personality. Also, for the things I really didn't like (I used to feel fat, for example), I managed to solve them, which solved my feeling of powerlessness.

I'm generally laid back, because I'm confident that I can overcome problems, and that I'm generally a good guy. And this confidence didn't come alone, but both through actual problem-solving and introspection.

I find that long swims and walks are very good for introspection btw.

**Spiffor** · August 14, 2006, 18:40

Another thing: your nervousness might be hardwired to your personality, and not due to any kind of insecurity.

If that's the case, instead of trying to "solve" it, you might want to think about how to take the best out of it. For example, while nervousness isn't appreciated, reactivity is.