Astronauts vs Cavemen. Who wins?

[Pekka]

And going to measure those odds for short strength advantage which is assumed, well what is that but ignoring facts that astronauts are not going to win in straight up fight unless they can use their brains?

[KrazyHorse]

Originally posted by Pekka
And going to measure those odds for short strength advantage which is assumed, well what is that but ignoring facts that astronauts are not going to win in straight up fight unless they can use their brains?

If I were Finnish would I be able to understand what you're trying to say?

[KrazyHorse]

By the way, of course "cavemen" survive in the wilderness. better than our astronauts. They have generations of oral tradition and a lifetime of experience to guide them. The astronauts would starve to death, or poison themselves with unfamiliar plants, or drink water from the wrong place, or get caught in a dry area without water and are parched to death, or...

But in a straight up fight between an astronaut and a caveman the astronaut stomps the caveman into the ****ing ground. He's bigger and he's stronger, and that will carry the day.

[Pekka]

bigger & stronger might not be enough. I would bet my money against astropussies any day if the cavemen are up to it and not injured or sick.

But, since we can't have that show, I guess it's something we'll never find out

[Lancer]

Anyone who watched 'One Billion Years BC' back in the 70's knows that a caveman could kick astronaut ass all day and do Raquel Welsh all night.

[Jon Miller]

old caveman movies were hilarious

JM

[Lancer]

Raquel Welsh was sexy. That furry bikini was really something too. What was in that bikini, well you know they were real. That was before boob jobs really kicked off. Yup, 100% natural, organic even. Never went free range however. Those beauties were always couped up in some sexy outfit. Still, one can dream...

[BeBMan]

We should breed a new superwarriorcombatfighterrace by crossing astronauts and cavemen for best results.

[Lancer]

"superwarriorcombatfighterrace by crossing astronauts and cavemen"

What do you get when you cross Alan Sheppard with Rachel Welsh?

[General Ludd]

A bad movie?

[Elok]

Come to think of it, mayhap somebody should specify what is meant by "cavemen." I was thinking it referred to people who lived in the period of time prior to the development of agriculture, but after the rise of humans as a distinct species. In which case, it covers about a hundred-thousand-year time span, give or take a little. Is that about what we were thinking of?

If so, the conclusion would depend a bit on the period. People from the Younger Dryas drought at the end of the last ice age would be malnourished and puny, easily beaten. But some of the classic hunter-gatherers from 20 KYA would have had a diet VERY high in protein, and would be quite accustomed to bringing down megafauna with atlatls while enduring winds sharp enough to split the skin. Space training ain't got squat on that. Those people basically lived their whole lives in Navy SEAL training.

And we've already established that these fights are unarmed. The use of "brains" is limited to clever holds and throws, and/or dropping boulders Warner Bros. style, etc. Do you think these people didn't know how to fight, or how to use the environment to their advantage? They hunted most successfully by using clever schemes to kill. And their knowledge of the weak spots of human anatomy would be fairly encyclopedic from watching their kin get gored.

[Thorgal]

Interesting question. IMHO if the caveman chokes on some austronaut´s bone it would end in a tie.

[Vince278]

Originally posted by General Ludd
Result: Astronauts starve to death

Would you?

Originally posted by General Ludd
Yeah, right. And it'll be able to shoot an arrow 4 feet before sticking into the ground.

I'm sure even you could do better than that, couldn't you?

[Vince278]

Maybe I mis-understood. If the thread title was referring to actual cavemen and astronauts the astronauts would win hands down. If the thread title was referring to posters in this thread the cavemen are the obvious winners here.

[General Ludd]

Originally posted by Vince278


Would you?

More than likely. I'm a product of modern society.

I'm sure even you could do better than that, couldn't you?

Have you tried going out into the woods and making a bow with things you find?