I'm a nice guy, but I am very hostile.

[Asher]

Originally posted by Japher
I don't have a problem with Asher's honesty/arrogance... it's his ego that's the problem

I'm confident and honest. Provides for a nice ego, doesn't it?

I'm sorry that my confidence annoys you, maybe some day you will have confidence in what you do.

[Arrian]

If they can tell me I'm being stupid, good on them too.

Obviously I don't know you IRL. All I have to go on is your persona here at 'poly and, based on that, I have trouble believing you actually mean that.

-Arrian

[Japher]

it doesn't annoy me

I have a good amount of confidence
in fact
that's the best thing about me
the total package; looks, brains, a good tolerance for alcohol
and yet
no ego!

[Asher]

Originally posted by Arrian
Obviously I don't know you IRL. All I have to go on is your persona here at 'poly and, based on that, I have trouble believing you actually mean that.

-Arrian

Happens all the time with friends. We learn from eachother.

[Spiffor]

Originally posted by Asher
what?

Ask a robot "Could you help me?", and it will reply something like "yes, helping me would be in my abilities", and be done with your question.
Tell a robot "help me", and it will actually help you.

The "could you" form is typically a politeness that is ingrained into us all, and we all understand what the real meaning is (i.e. "I want you to"). But it is fundamentally a way to soften what you really want to express. Same as "please", a buzzword that many want to hear when you ask them something.

[Japher]

I like to smile and see other people smile, it makes me feel good

so really, my politeness is really just selfishness in disguise

[Asher]

Originally posted by Spiffor

Ask a robot "Could you help me?", and it will reply something like "yes, helping me would be in my abilities", and be done with your question.
Tell a robot "help me", and it will actually help you.

The "could you" form is typically a politeness that is ingrained into us all, and we all understand what the real meaning is (i.e. "I want you to"). But it is fundamentally a way to soften what you really want to express. Same as "please", a buzzword that many want to hear when you ask them something.

Another form of manipulating politeness is posting a thread about how you're in such desperate need for money, and then watch as the cash flows in.

[Spiffor]

Originally posted by Asher
People become so obsessed with being well-liked that if somebody says anything not positive ("I think you're being stupid") they leap on the defensive to try to correct that opinion. God forbid people think something badly of them...

Politeness is abused. It's fitting into social standards and that doesn't mean much of anything, except perhaps that they're a follower.

I don't know. In my late teens, I used to be a follower because I really didn't want anybody to dislike me. Since then, however, as I have become much more self-confident, I have been simultaneously more honest, more able to accept being disliked, and also more polite (more considerate on how my verbal communication comes across my counterpart).

I stand to my initial position: you are believing that your efforts at superficiality constitute most of politeness, whereas politeness is much more than that: it is a way to establish and maintain communication between people who don't have specific protocols between them.

[Q Classic]

Actually, I see politeness as another tool to help deal with people.

After all, when you're polite, it's a lot easier to give them the rope they're about to hang themselves with.

[Arrian]

Another form of manipulating politeness is posting a thread about how you're in such desperate need for money, and then watch as the cash flows in.

If anything, that's manipulating pity.

-Arrian

[Asher]

Originally posted by Arrian
If anything, that's manipulating pity.

-Arrian

It's a form of politeness on his part. It's kind of like "Send me money", but more disguised under politeness. Some people don't see it that way right off.

[Asher]

Originally posted by Spiffor
it is a way to establish and maintain communication between people who don't have specific protocols between them.

Politeness is the protocol.

[Fake Boris]

Originally posted by Asher
BS. Most politeness is superficial protocol.

C'mon dude. You don't come up to a girl and ask if she wants to suck you. There is no superficiality involved in such a grandiose motive, whatever the means.

And I'm sure you're polite to your bosses and superiors, even those you don't like.

[Asher]

Originally posted by Oncle Boris
C'mon dude. You don't come up to a girl and ask if she wants to suck you. There is no superficiality involved in such a grandiose motive, whatever the means.

Why do you think I'm gay? Ask a gay guy that, and, well...

And I'm sure you're polite to your bosses and superiors, even those you don't like.

Of course, that's business survival. It's protocol.

[Spiffor]

Originally posted by Asher
Politeness is the protocol.

Yes, it's been my point all along

And you know that protocols are useful, since no meaningful communication would exist without them.