Does anyone know anything about a repressed libido?

[Last Conformist]

That something is commoner among guys does not mean it's abnormal for girls.

[Jon Miller]

I did not claim abnormal in girls

and I know of girls who could tire out any guy (I think)

JM

[Jon Miller]

it is true that I know less about female masturbatory habits

as far as other stuff that you relayed (OP)... if I don't masturbate regularly.. I am prone to embarrassing myself/making myself uncomfortable

JM

[Flip McWho]

My 2cts:

The last thing you want to do is go to a priest on matters like this. Thats far below asking random people on the internet in the scale of people to listen too.

Masturbation is perfectly normal.

As far as obsessions go, as long as you aren't stalking the person then you're fine. An obsession only becomes creepy when you're following that person around.

[Immortal Wombat]

Unless you're some kind of Buddhist master, the best way to rid yourself of desire is to sate it. Masturbate. Get some good porn- if it is good enough it will keep this girl out of your mind, and if its by some proper adult film company then the stars are getting paid enough to counteract any dehumanisation that may occur. Letting the juices flow will massively reduce the anxiety - let your head do the thinking, not your dick.

[Ted Striker]

Originally posted by johncmcleod

I don't know. It is kind of weird. I come from a picture perfect loving, middle class family, and my mom is a very lovable person. Everyone loves her. But to tell you the truth, I feel almost no emotion towards her. As far as therapy goes, I don't want to do that. It would scare the **** out of my parents (and if I wanted to keep it a secret I'd have to pay money), it would take a lot of time and energy and I am so busy with college stuff right now), and I don't think I need it that bad. In other areas I am very high functioning.

You don't have to tell them you're going. If you go to college, alot of them have free counseling programs, from everything from substance abuse to depression, etc.

Good luck.

If you don't want to do that, the following 2 things will turn you into a CHAMPION, I don't care WHO the **** you are:

1) Weight room

2) Volunteer work

Those 2 things are guaranteed to improve you're life 100%, there is no doubt in my mind.

Weight room builds confidence and the volunteer work will also help your confidence and especially your people skills.

Weight room isn't just about being healthy and looking good, it also teaches you how to set goals and achieve them.

[Whaleboy]

Right on Ted, gym is a priority since that'll straighten out your hormones, give you more energy, and make you feel more confident about the way you look... as well as actually improve the way you look!

Secondly, get a job or a hobby where you feel like you're doing something creative or constructive or otherwise making a difference.... nothing hurts a man's potence more than the feeling that he is surplus to requirements.

Thirdly, go out, meet some friends, have a good time, get slightly drunk, and talk to women. It doesn't have to be sexual, but have female company, talk with them, and listen to them.

[Frozzy]

Originally posted by johncmcleod
Oh, quick anthropology question. Have humans always masturbated? I mean did they in prehistroric times? Or is it a new development? And why have religions always opposed it? Maybe there is something to be said about self-indulgent practices like that. Maybe they should be avoided.

Wikipedia is your friend.

There are depictions of male masturbation in prehistoric rock paintings around the world, though these are all entirely matters of interpretation. Most early people seem to have connected human sexuality with abundance in nature. A clay figurine of the 4th millennium BC from a temple site on the island of Malta, depicts a woman masturbating. However, in the ancient world depictions of male masturbation are far more common.

Male masturbation became an even more important image in ancient Egypt: when performed by a god it could be considered a creative or magical act: the god Atum was believed to have created the universe by masturbating to ejaculation. The ancient Greeks had a more natural attitude toward masturbation than the Egyptians did, regarding the act as a normal and healthy substitute for other forms of sexual pleasure. They considered masturbation a safety valve against destructive sexual frustration. The Greeks also dealt with female masturbation in both their art and writings.

-------------------------------------

Anyway, back to the topic, I have to say I'm experiencing similar problems myself. I do, however, masterbate regularly, and I do look at porn (though not terribly often)...

If I can find out what's wrong, I'll get in touch, but it's depressing

[Ted Striker]

I will also add a poor diet will also do it.

[Frozzy]

That could be somewhat my problem. I've been eating very little for the past year or so (one banana for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, then a proper dinner at 6-ish)...

I think there's something deeper though. I'll stop hijacking john's thread though.

[Ted Striker]

Nah, it's cool, sometimes when people have the same problem they can help each other out.

In your case I would suggest eating more for breakfast including some protein. If you don't like meat, peanut butter is good, and you don't need the bread to go with it.

[Frozzy]

Cheers Ted. I'll give it a whirl.

[Theben]

I'm thinking that I am going to talk to one of my teachers, who is a Jesuit priest, and seeing how he channels the energy so he doesn't have the desire. Or the medication might help. You see, eliminating the desire would be a great idea. All it does is cause me anxiety. If I can get rid of it, I'll start having a lot more healthy relationships with girls without any anxiety at all. And if I need to do it, I could always take myself off the meds or if I wasn't on the meds I'd just do it to please her. I just think there'd be so many advantages to being asexual.

I am not nervous about not doing things other guys have done. I'm just nervous that I have a ****ed up sexuality, and that I am so inexperienced and far behind everyone else as far as maturity goes, that I will never be able to have a healthy relationship.

Please note the parts I bolded, and that YOU wrote. Being a priest won't take your mind off girls. You want a relationship, you just don't feel you can 'measure up', so to speak.

Girls are people too. And they go thru the same sexual anxieties that guys do- usually worse, b/c our society 'rewards' guys who are sexually active and 'blames' women who do the same, so they have to worry about their image.

I know I started out 'far behind' at a young age but I got better. Nowdays not only am I good at it, but I KNOW I'm good. Of course I still have trouble with the icebreaker lines.

And as far as self-confidence goes, what if I can't stand myself? What if I hate my personality and who I am and wish I could be different? My people skills are pretty lousy. I don't have any close friends, and I am horrible in groups of people. I am trying to change my personality at the moment.

People "skills" are just that. They're skills. And they can be learned (in fact that's how everyone else got them, they just started before you!). So don't worry about it, but yes do something to correct it.

If nothing else, tell yourself you're not interested in the girl when you speak with her, that you just like her for a friend. You may find yourself having a normal conversation b/c you're not so worked up about talking to a *girl*!!

And as for the porn thing, I've had women give me DVDs to watch with them. If you don't want to watch b/c you don't want to support a business that is cruel to women, watch animated porn. No real women abused in them.

[Jon Miller]

Originally posted by Theben

And as for the porn thing, I've had women give me DVDs to watch with them. If you don't want to watch b/c you don't want to support a business that is cruel to women, watch animated porn. No real women abused in them.

Those are generally far more perverted though. If you want to watch something that harms no one, watch a Victorias Secret special or something. I watch tons of porn, but that is still good.

JM

[Theben]

True, but the main point is that you know for certain no one was actually raped or whatever.