I want to start a religion based on beer.

[Mrs. Tuberski]

Originally posted by Rufus T. Firefly
Given recent developments in the beverage world, I must insist on this commandment:

Only Beer is beer, and thou shalt have no other beer than Beer. The ale, the porter, the stout, the lambic -- these for you may be Beer. But verily, Zima is not beer; nor is Bud Extreme beer. And if it tastes more like lemonade, or fruit punch, or wine cooler than beer, then, even if it is called beer, thou shalt not drink of it, for it is not Beer.

Amen and Halleujah

[Theben]

Rufus

And to Imran

"If thou spillist drops of beer, without prior announcement of homage being given to fallen allies or past kin, thou hast sinned and shall pay penance."

[Jon Miller]

Re: I want to start a religion based on beer.

Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui
But I need some principles and a Holy Book of course. I figure there are so many religions that put down alcohol (and one, Catholicism that seems to really, really embrace it), that beer needs some help (without the pointy hats... unless if we get real drunk and decide to put napkins on our heads).

So, we need some Commandments first of all...

I am pretty sure IU joined it

[Jon Miller]

of course I can't see streainght


jm

[Mrs. Tuberski]

Originally posted by Theben
Rufus

And to Imran

"If thou spillist drops of beer, without prior announcement of homage being given to fallen allies or past kin, thou hast sinned and shall pay penance."

Oh thats a good one.... No sympathy for the beer abuser and waster

[Tuberski]

Penance being:

Say 5 Our Barleys

And five Hail Malties.

ACK!

[Frankychan]

Originally posted by Mrs. Tuberski

ah dude that was my next one man but I
was having trouble with the words cause i would never break that commandment

I've broken this commandment many a time. When I'm sh** out of luck and I hear my neighbors crack open a bottle...that *psssshhht!* sound gets my attention.

[Frankychan]

Originally posted by Rufus T. Firefly
Given recent developments in the beverage world, I must insist on this commandment:

Only Beer is beer, and thou shalt have no other beer than Beer. The ale, the porter, the stout, the lambic -- these for you may be Beer. But verily, Zima is not beer; nor is Bud Extreme beer. And if it tastes more like lemonade, or fruit punch, or wine cooler than beer, then, even if it is called beer, thou shalt not drink of it, for it is not Beer.

This is very true. This should be the first vows spoken of the new beer religion!

Our religion takes all comers, light, dark, ale, stout, lager, warm, cold, pint, ounce, liter. For beer is beer.

[Theben]

Originally posted by Tuberski
Penance being:

Say 5 Our Barleys

And five Hail Malties.

ACK!

Shouldn't that be Hail Bloody Marys? If Xians can worship a jew, surely we can acknowledge other alcolholic drinks.

[techumseh]

My contribution to the theology of the New Faith:

ONE: 'Thou shall have no other suds before Me.'

TWO: 'Thou shall not make for yourself a carbonated image--any taste of anything that is a vodka cooler, or that is a fruity beverage, or that is watered down.'

THREE: 'Thou shall not take the name of the LORD your Brew in vain.'

FOUR: 'Remember the Big Game, to keep it holy.'

FIVE: 'Honor your hops and malt.'

SIX: 'Thou shall not kill the taste.'

SEVEN: 'Thou shall not commit adulteration, either with tomato juice or with ginger ale.'

EIGHT: 'Thou shall not chug.'

NINE: 'Thou shall not bear false witness against your bar tab'

TEN: 'thou shall not covet your neighbour's keg; you shall not covet your neighbour's fridge, nor his six pack, nor his beer mugs, nor his rec room, nor his big screen TV, nor anything that is your neighbour's.'

[BeBMan]

Can I be the pope in this new religion?

[Harovan]

Wir sind Papst!

[Heresson]

Then can I be the chief of the Congregation of the Faith?
You know, the one that denounces heresies.

[Harovan]

I would trust only a native Bavarian with that duty. Which would naturally exclude me as immigrant. Others might allow ingredients other than barley, hops and water, a Bavarian however would punish this crime and burn the heretic at the stake.

You know what, Heresson, you can be pope, if you want. But let a Bavarian be Inquisitor. Ratzinger for teh win! Or Stoiber.

[BeBMan]

I don't trust Stoiber. He would fight just for some personal preferred beer. We need someone who would fight for TEH TRUE BEER, including inquisition and beer-crusades.