Should the man pay for everything on a date?

[Urban Ranger]

Re: Re: Should the man pay for everything on a date?

Originally posted by bfg9000
Above all, you want to have a relationship on YOUR terms not hers.

Are you looking for an SO or a slave?

[Brundlefly]

Re: Re: Re: Should the man pay for everything on a date?

Originally posted by Urban Ranger


Are you looking for an SO or a slave?

Neither. IMO, someone has to be the leader in a relationship because you cant have two followers (they'll bore themselves to death trying to please each other, going around in circles and never really feeling fulfilled) and you cant have two leaders (they will butt heads and constantly antagonize each other).

Whoever presents the stronger frame of reality in a relationship becomes the leader. Men are naturally meant to lead in a relationship. Women do not naturally feel comfortable as relationship leaders. If you present yourself as submissive and eager-to-please to a woman, she will sense that she is being asked to lead and she will either reject you or keep you around to manipulate you for her amusement. Better to establish yourself early on as the one who calls the shots. In my experience, most women welcome this..

[Brundlefly]

Originally posted by MikeH
If you ignore the "providers" part of that as old fashioned and sexist the same is true of men.

We have girls we just want to sleep with and girls we want to settle down with.

But we want both types of girls sexually wheras women only get inspired sexually by the lovers. This is an important distinction because the point I've been making is that if you present yourself as a provider to a girl too early on (as in picking up the bill for dates), you are not going to be attractive to her and you probably wont get the chance to try and settle down with her later on because she will flake on your lack of leadership. You have to play the role of the lover at first, put on a male display so to speak, to attract her..

This is my paradigm. I have come to it through years of experience. It may not be the only one that works, but if it works for me, it should work for you, too.

[Pax]

A gentleman would pay for the condoms.

[JohnT]

A true lady would go on the pill, sparing her man the expense.

[Imran Siddiqui]

Originally posted by JohnT
A true lady would go on the pill, sparing her man the expense.

[LTEC!]

The person that extends the invitation is the one thats expected to pay.
Dates vary. If it is the first date its tacky to expect the woman to pay...

I think i should point out that the expense of the date doesn't always consist on the direct cost of the restaurant check, movies or popcorn, et al.

There's outfit, shoes, hair, makeup, toiletries and incidentals involved. That can add up to even more than the direct cost of the date. (in some cases, of course it also depends who you're going out with).

If you do straight math and you feel like you are being taken for a ride, then you should discontinue those dates. When the person is worth the trouble you won't even notice who paid what.

[Timexwatch]

Originally posted by LTEC!
When the person is worth the trouble you won't even notice who paid what.

[troll] Until she doesn't put out! [/troll]


But in all seriousness, that's true. It's even more true that the ones that are worth it don't demand to be completely paid for.