Should the man pay for everything on a date?

[Kuciwalker]

Hates puns = gay?

[Imran Siddiqui]

I assumed the 50/50 option also stood for the you pay/I pay, because that works as well.

But in an era of women's equality, men shouldn't be expected to pay for dates. You can't argue for equality and then want special treatment. That sort of 'chivalry' is either taking advantage or a way of viewing women as unequals (ie, she can't afford to pay for dinner cause she's in the kitchen and getting pregnant and barefoot and crap, so I gotta take care of her... meh).

[Ogie Oglethorpe]

Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui

But in an era of women's equality, men shouldn't be expected to pay for dates. You can't argue for equality and then want special treatment. That sort of 'chivalry' is either taking advantage or a way of viewing women as unequals (ie, she can't afford to pay for dinner cause she's in the kitchen and getting pregnant and barefoot and crap, so I gotta take care of her... meh).

That's a niave position. Equality exists in the workplace. In the bedroom women have us by the balls. Hence a little sweetening of the offer in the form of dinner payola ultimately is required to grease the wheels or other body parts.

Life's a series of negotiations.

[JohnT]

This thread is just oh so romantic! :fluttering eyelids:

[JohnT]

Imo, the guy should expect to pay, but be gracious if the woman asks to cover. Whining about it beforehand shows a lack of manners, negotiating it beforehand shows a lack of class.

Imo.

[Ogie Oglethorpe]

Of course one shouldn't openly negotiate it. Thats the game. To do otherwise is crass and gauche. But ultimately it is a negotiation just like everything in life. The key is to know your power(strengths and weaknesses) in the specific negotiation the needs/wants of the other party applying your influence appropriately, ultimately understanding the ramifications of using it.

The best negotiations are when it becomes win win.

[Sprayber]

Originally posted by JohnT
Imo, the guy should expect to pay, but be gracious if the woman asks to cover. Whining about it beforehand shows a lack of manners, negotiating it beforehand shows a lack of class.

Imo.

Pretty much spot on. If your on a date you better have enough money to cover it so you avoid that akward moment when she pays because you don't have the cash to do so. My girlfriend will always tell me when she wants to cover it and I always say ok. Sometimes it's at small places and sometimes it's at more expensive places. I hesitate at the more expensive places because she does have two kids and I hate for her to pay but she is an adult and knows how much she can spend. She even bought us concert tickets a few months ago.

One thing is when I drive her car I use it as an opportunity to fill her tank up. She gets upset for a little bit but knows I'm just trying to help out a bit here and there.

[JohnT]

That bit of advice is really for the first initial dates, at the beginning of the relationship. As a couple grows together, this subject (should) become less worrisome:

"Let's go out for pizza!"
"Babe, I've got $5 in my pockets until Friday. If you feel like paying, I'll be glad to go."
"OK."

Then, when one gets married, the question becomes moot as the funds come out of your family's assets... not hers, not his, but theirs.

[Ogie Oglethorpe]

Originally posted by JohnT

Then, when one gets married, the question becomes moot as the funds come out of your family's assets... not hers, not his, but theirs.

Agreed. But before kids when we were DINKS the more truthful answer was the funds were not his, but moreover were hers.

Ratio of spending in our house was approximately 75% for the Queen's things vs. 25% for the Kings things.

Now ratio is more like 75% Princesses, 15% queen, 10% king.

Heck doesn't bother me a bit, I'm low maintenance.

(Plus I just got me a new pool table which squares up things quite a bit over the years. )

[Lefty Scaevola]

Real men do not have dates, they pillage and ravish.

[Shi Huangdi]

With my last GF I paid for everything on dates. I think she dated me longer then she would have simply because she liked getting free stuff. In the future, I'd want to insist on a 50/50 split. It's not like the old days where women were expected not to work(thus justifying the men paying), and if she really likes you the money shouldn't be an issue.

[JohnT]

Money is always an issue, even if she loves you and is willing to bear your kids.

[Bereta_Eder]

Originally posted by Lefty Scaevola
Real men do not have dates, they pillage and ravish.

HOUA!

[Dis]

oh, I forgot to ask.

What about these group date things the kids are so into now days. I'd imagine in that case everyone pays for their own.

And what's with these group dates? Has anyone ever been on one? What are they like?

[MarkG]

Originally posted by Gibsie
the man ALWAYS pays
one way or another

LOL