Why am I alone?

[rah]

Barry White tunes as motivational music.
It always seemed to work for John Cage on Ally McBeal.

[Kidlicious]

Re: Why am I alone?

Originally posted by Alex
June 12th is Valentine's Day here in Brazil. (yeah, I know...)

And suddenly I feel horribly awkward and displaced because I don't have a girlfriend. Since I divorced my wife I've been alone. I mean, really alone. So alone that it hurts.

Why can't I find a girlfriend? I'm not an ugly guy (some people even say that I'm good-looking and attractive). I'm not unemployed. I'm not a nerd who spends all of his free time in front of the computer playing Civ (well, just a little ). I like to go out with friends.

So, what's wrong with me?

Do you hit on chicks? My divorce isn't final, but I haven't hit on any women yet. My goal is to hit on many more women this time around. Even if I'm not that attracted to them I'm going to hit on them just for practice.

[Flubber]

Originally posted by chegitz guevara
Alternatively, go to strip clubs for a few weeks, and let the women there boost your ego. Nothing like hot, naked women telling you how great you are to make you think you actually can pick up girls.

Next thing you will be saying he should see a prostitute

[Kidlicious]

I have to say that I disagree with going to strip clubs and seeing prostitutes. That never boosts my ego. Sure they act like they want you but it's obvious they only want your money. Nothing could be worse for the ego.

[Frankychan]

Aaaah,

Dude, I know how you feel. Weird though, women can sense desperation. As said above, I'd say project confidence...even if you have to fake it. If you try too hard to find a girl, they'll get turned off. Don't get yerself down dude. Like I told my other friend over here, every guy and girl is attractive to someone else. You just gotta bump into that one. I'll bet there are a few people over there that find you hot that you don't even know about.

But I have heard that divorced guys are seen by women as being on the rebound x10. If you're recently divorced than all I can say man is to try and preoccupy yourself with other things (sports, exercise, etc) I think its kicka** that you hang around with friends. Keeps you away from falling into depression.

I'd say there's nothing wrong with you. I'd say continue to hang around with your friends, but if you see a pretty good looking girl work your magic.



(or you could do the shotgun approach and just ask every girl you meet. Someone eventually has to say 'yes' )

No worries dude. You'll be fine. Take it easy dude.

[Flubber]

Re: Re: Why am I alone?

Originally posted by Kidicious


Do you hit on chicks? My divorce isn't final, but I haven't hit on any women yet. My goal is to hit on many more women this time around. Even if I'm not that attracted to them I'm going to hit on them just for practice.

Actually good advice. Flirt with anyone where it seems appropriate. Positive feedback even from women you would not want to date is still a bit of a high.

Whatever you do . . . ask some women out !!! If you don't want to be alone, assess how many women you asked out in the last month. If its not five or six you are not even really trying and it would take at least ten before I thought you were serious.

[Flubber]

Originally posted by Kidicious
I have to say that I disagree with going to strip clubs and seeing prostitutes. That never boosts my ego. Sure they act like they want you but it's obvious they only want your money. Nothing could be worse for the ego.

kid what's happening?? I agree with you again. (Quick say something commie-like so I can oppose you )

I find strip clubs to feel tawdry and obvious and I imagine a prostitute would be the same.

[The Emperor Fabulous]

Originally posted by chegitz guevara
Low self-esteem, probably. Confidence is the greatest aphrodesiac.

[Alex]

I think it is a mix of everything everyone mentioned: low self-esteem, lost the hang of the dating game and I haven't really tried hard enough.

I could go to a strip club, or something like this, but then this wouldn't really help. It's easy to have sex if you have money. But I want something more.

The problem is that I haven't yet found an interesting woman. So I guess I'll have to make do with whatever is available on the market. We all need sex after all.

[Jon Miller]

I know that part of my problem is that 'I haven't tried hard enough'

I think I have asked less then 10 girls out, in my life... (there are others I would have asked out, but they expressed disinterest in me before I got up the guts to ask them out)

but I disagree with 'we all need sex' view of dating

while I really want sex, I wouldn't/don't want to be touched by someone who I didn't know real well and like..

Jon Miller

[Provost Harrison]

Live a life of celibacy!

[Gibsie]

Originally posted by rah
Barry White tunes as motivational music.
It always seemed to work for John Cage on Ally McBeal.

Didn't he end up in the PH position (i.e. alone foreeeeever)?

[Flubber]

Originally posted by Jon Miller
I know that part of my problem is that 'I haven't tried hard enough'

I think I have asked less then 10 girls out, in my life... (there are others I would have asked out, but they expressed disinterest in me before I got up the guts to ask them out)

Well the 10 number was in the context of someone that is sounding depressed about being alone and not dating. (and also assumes some lack of success since if the first 3 girls say yes that alone would keep you busy)

I had times in my life that I WANTED to be single so I asked no one out. At other times I wanted to be dating so I pretty much asked anyone I found moderately interesting.

If you get some basic info before hand like making sure she's single and hetero, the success rate is pretty good. Most women are approached by so very many jerks that they are willing to give a decent guy a chance

Originally posted by Jon Miller


but I disagree with 'we all need sex' view of dating

while I really want sex, I wouldn't/don't want to be touched by someone who I didn't know real well and like..

Jon Miller

I also disagree that we all need sex (at least in the short term).

I don't think I have ever had sex with someone that I did not at least like and I have never had sex with any person only once. When I think back I see that as a little suprising but I guess its becasue I wasn't a one night stand kind of guy

[Last Conformist]

Most women are approached by so very many jerks that they are willing to give a decent guy a chance

The problem is being a decent guy.

[General Ludd]

Originally posted by chegitz guevara
Alternatively, go to strip clubs for a few weeks, and let the women there boost your ego. Nothing like hot, naked women telling you how great you are to make you think you actually can pick up girls.

I think that going to a strip club would do nothing but hurt my self-esteem.