Why am I alone?

[Alex]

June 12th is Valentine's Day here in Brazil. (yeah, I know...)

And suddenly I feel horribly awkward and displaced because I don't have a girlfriend. Since I divorced my wife I've been alone. I mean, really alone. So alone that it hurts.

Why can't I find a girlfriend? I'm not an ugly guy (some people even say that I'm good-looking and attractive). I'm not unemployed. I'm not a nerd who spends all of his free time in front of the computer playing Civ (well, just a little ). I like to go out with friends.

So, what's wrong with me?

[Agathon]

Have a bath.

[chequita guevara]

Low self-esteem, probably. Confidence is the greatest aphrodesiac.

[Last Conformist]

You're ugly. Try dating blind chicks.

[Agathon]

Try one of those internet dating sites with compatibility tests. I know that some people don't like them, but it is a way of weeding out people that are radically incompatible with you.

[pchang]

Take a break. Spend a few days at the beach in Rio. Be inspired to chat up the attractive women you see there. You will soon no longer be alone.

[Nostromo]

Re: Why am I alone?

Originally posted by Alex
June 12th is Valentine's Day here in Brazil. (yeah, I know...)

And suddenly I feel horribly awkward and displaced because I don't have a girlfriend. Since I divorced my wife I've been alone. I mean, really alone. So alone that it hurts.

Why can't I find a girlfriend? I'm not an ugly guy (some people even say that I'm good-looking and attractive). I'm not unemployed. I'm not a nerd who spends all of his free time in front of the computer playing Civ (well, just a little ). I like to go out with friends.

So, what's wrong with me?

My guess is that you lost the hang of the dating game. It happens often to people who were married for a while: they loose the touch. When they get divorced, they're completely lost. I'm willing to bet that you didn't have that problem before you met your wife. So my advice is to break the ice, with the first cute girl you meet. She doesn't have to be the one. Like my father likes to say, you don't have to marry her And don't make the error of commiting yourself too fast... You sound like one of my friends. He can't stand solitude. If he ****s a girls, almost any girl, he'll ask her to be his girlfriend. The doctor prescribes lots and lots of meaningless, wild sexual encounters.

[chequita guevara]

Before you leave to go out lookin' for love do a couple things.
#1, engage in a little self love. Orgasms produce testosterone, which increases confidence.
#2, roar! I mean really roar, like a lion or bear, you're gonna go out and kick some ****ing ass!
#3 when you leave, play a motivating theme in your head, but just use your name as the lyrics.

Basically, you have to pump yourself up in your own mind before you can pump somebody else.

[chequita guevara]

Alternatively, go to strip clubs for a few weeks, and let the women there boost your ego. Nothing like hot, naked women telling you how great you are to make you think you actually can pick up girls.

[Japher]

And suddenly I feel horribly awkward and displaced because I don't have a girlfriend. Since I divorced my wife I've been alone. I mean, really alone. So alone that it hurts

Sounds to me like self loathing... or maybe low self esteem like Che said. You have to want to be happy, and you have to feel that you deserve to be happy...

[chequita guevara]

ROAR!!!!

[Japher]

ribbit

[chequita guevara]

I swear it seems silly, and you'll laugh your ass off and feel like a goof doing it, but it really improves your mood and your self-confidence. I do it before every interview (at home, of course). What do you think battle cries are?

SPOON!

[Japher]

Spoon is, without a doubt, the best battlecry ever.

That and Ni.

[Nostromo]

Originally posted by Japher

Sounds to me like self loathing... or maybe low self esteem like Che said. You have to want to be happy, and you have to feel that you deserve to be happy...

How is feeling lonely a sign of self-loathing?

I'm not an ugly guy (some people even say that I'm good-looking and attractive). I'm not unemployed. I'm not a nerd who spends all of his free time in front of the computer playing Civ (well, just a little ). I like to go out with friends.

Would someone who hates himself say that? I don't think so.