An All-New "Order the Star Wars Films" Thread

[joncha]

I hate sand. It's rough and it gets everywhere.

[Jaguar]

Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth.

[Imran Siddiqui]

Originally posted by Jaguar
The two lightsaber duels at the end of ROTS? One has the Emperor cackling like a maniac, and Yoda crawling through air ducts. Way to destroy the dignity of two of the most awesome original series characters.

The Emperor is evil, he cackles. What's the big deal? And Yoda crawls away, knowing he cannot defeat Palpatine. Unlike Anakin, he knows when he is beaten and lives on to fight another day. He shows intelligence, and perserves his dignity.

The other big duel is Anakin vs Obiwan, which has them floating on random pieces of metal in a river of lava. Sure, it looked good, but when you think about what they were actually doing, it's ridiculous.

Why? How is it any more ridiculous than Luke's plan to escape death and beat Jabba the Hut in RotJ? It was a damned cool scene, floating on a river of lava.

ROTS did not just suffer from a couple of scenes with bad dialogue. It was a chronic problem that permeated through almost every scene. We start with "You will not get away this time, Dooku!", move on to "Anni, I want to have our baby back home on Naboo. We can raise it in the lake country, where no-one will know..." and "No, it is because I am so in love with you." Then we get the "badass" General Grievous once again, and he comes up with this gem: "You FOOL! I have been TRAINED in your Jedi arts by COUNT DOOKU!"

Aside from the "No, I'm so in love with you" line, I don't consider those lines to be bad dialogue. Hammy, yes. But on par with some of ham fisted lines in the original trilogy ("Reach out with your feelings" anyone?).

You keep referencing the Grievous line. What's so bad about it? Sounds exactly what a space opera villan would say (think Ming the Merciless... no, the REAL one, not the moderator we have here ).

Yoda's dialogue was horribly written as well. "Not if anything to say about it, I have." "A prophecy that misread, could have been." His syntax and sentence variety bear little resemblance to the Yoda of Empire Strikes Back.

::shrug:: Other people have said that first line you posted was the coolest line in the entire movie.

The last words Anikin and Obiwan exchange are awful as well:

Anakin Skywalker: Don't lecture me Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do... I have peace, freedom and justice to my new Empire.
Obi-Wan: Your new Empire!
Anakin Skywalker: Don't make me kill you.
Obi-Wan: Anakin... My allegiance is to the republic, to democracy!
Anakin Skywalker: If you're not with me, then you are my enemy.
Obi-Wan: Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

(Yay for stilted politics)

And then, during the duel-

Obi-Wan: I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you.
Anakin Skywalker: I should have known the Jedi were plotting to take over.
Obi-Wan: Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil.
Anakin Skywalker: From my point of view, the Jedi are evil.
Obi-Wan: Well, then you are lost!

Their final confrontation should have been an emotional, compelling battle of wills. But the dialogue was just too goofy.

You know, I just don't see it. Where is the bad dialogue again? I think you are picking nits just to pick them. There is nothing horrible about those lines. You may think one is overtly political and the other both sides accusing each other of evil, but I fail to see the bad dialogue you are speaking of.

Where is the awfulness?

[Imran Siddiqui]

And if you think the dialogue was far better in the first movies, here are some winners from the first flick:

General Tagge: What of the Rebellion? If the Rebels have obtained a complete technical reading of this station, it is possible, however unlikely, they might find a weakness and exploit it.
(hey, way to go to cover all bases, General.. and can we say hit you over the head foreshadowing)

C-3PO: We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life.

(This one is just stupid in context. All the generals are talking about the Death Star and out of the blue, Vader goes)
Darth Vader: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.
(WTF?)

Han Solo: Damn fool, I knew you were going to say that.
Obi-Wan: Who's the more foolish: The fool, or the fool who follows him?

Luke: All right. Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess that's what you're best at, isn't it?

Luke: I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home. They're not much bigger than two meters.
(Yes Luke, and were Imperial fighters on your tail then?)

Princess Leia: Your friend is quite a mercenary. I wonder if he really cares about anything... or anybody.
Luke: I care.

Han Solo: Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?

Han Solo: One thing's for sure, we're all gonna be a lot thinner.

Princess Leia: [to Han] : I knew there was more to you than money!

---

So you see, dialogue was never the point. Hammy and corny writing was part and parcel of Star Wars since the beginning (whether by accident or as an homage to the space operas of the 20s and 30s, we don't know).

[Dis]

this is too confusing. I'm not going to read that many words

Empire Strikes Back, Revenge of the Sith, Star Wars, Return of the Jedi, Attack of the clones, Star Wars Holiday Special, the Phantom Menace.

[Ted Striker]

Those lines are the BOMB!!!

You are crazy...

[Master Zen]

Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui
So you see, dialogue was never the point. Hammy and corny writing was part and parcel of Star Wars since the beginning (whether by accident or as an homage to the space operas of the 20s and 30s, we don't know).

Umm, those are supposed to be "bad" lines? Have you even seen Ep3 to know what bad lines are? Some of the ones you quoted are not only good, they're placed so out of context that you can only claim they're bad that way.

Take this one for example:

Han Solo: Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?

That one was supposed be be ridiculous. It's supposed to be humorous to see Han all nervous not knowing if his cover will be blown after infiltrating the Death Star. How can you compare this line with some of the crap ones in Ep3?

No offense but you have no argument in saying that the originals were just as cheesy as the new ones. Sure they had some bad dialoge but nowhere on the level of the new series.

[Ted Striker]

Personally I think those lines are GOLDEN.

The only one I don't like was the one about the T-16 and the womp rats.

[Frankychan]

Revenge, then Empire Strikes back.

Yes, that "hammy" line where Han Solo is winging it made me laugh and still does, is because it's just fricken funny in that context. It's cool cause it shows that he's not used to rescue operations and when he blasts the controls in frustration, that's the sh**.

I like Revenge just cause the plotline was the best. And yes, I did grow up on the original trilogy.

[joncha]

Originally posted by Ted Striker
Those lines are the BOMB!!!

You are crazy...

Quoted for TRUTH

"Han Solo: Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?"

How could anyone not like that line?

[BeBMan]

Haven't seen EIII so far. Is it better than the old movies?

[Dr Strangelove]

I alwyas loved Hans lines about the millenium Falcon "makes 1.5 past light speed" and "made the Kessel run in 12 parsecs". Heh Heh, you can tell that George Lucas was a liberal arts major.

What ROTJ needed was a closing line with the punch of Bogie's lines at the end of Casablanca, or Hemry Fords last lines in The Grapes of Wrath.

[Kuciwalker]

Slightly lame excuse, but the "1.5 past light speed" means that it has a 1.5 hyperdrive rating (i.e. engine is rated 1.5 when going past light speed), which is good, since the rating is inversely proportional to speed.

[Kuciwalker]

Originally posted by joncha
Quoted for TRUTH

"Han Solo: Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?"

How could anyone not like that line?

I that part.

[Jaguar]

Harrison Ford never memorized his line for that part so it would sound ridiculous and ad-libbed. Shall post more later.