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Today I asked a girl out for the second time in my life. Specifically, to the Birthday Ball (Washington College has it every year on George Washington's birthday). The answer was no, of course, because being cute, intelligent and friendly she had a boyfriend, and would be going with him. But she acted perfectly nice about it, and she may well have been genuinely sorry (that's right, Elok, lick your wounds with flattery...). She said she hoped I would go, and invited me to come and talk to her while I was there.
This gave me pause. Evidently she meant that I should walk up and say hi, while she's standing there with her BF. The woman is very smart, so I don't think it's denseness, it just didn't occur to her that anyone would fail to enjoy that.
I'm wondering if what I'm referring to here is a uniquely male phenomenon, or if it happens to everyone, or if it's just me. Perhaps you know what I'm talking about: you run into the girl and her beau somewhere, perhaps by accident, and she introduces you. The moment you look him in the eye...
BAM! Immediately, for some perverse reason, your mind is flooded with an extremely graphic image of the two of them having sex, with the quality and raunchiness of the sex being directly proportional to how much you liked the girl. If, for example, you're mad about her and you've been dreaming about her every night, he'll be going at it doggy-style with his friends standing around and clapping, and she'll be ripping a pillow to shreds with her teeth in ecstasy.
You freeze in your tracks in horror, which is a tactical error, because in the interests of politeness the guy then extends his hand and says his name. Yay, now we have audio to go with the video! "Oh yeah honey, mmm that feels good, ahh..." "Grunt! Yeah, take it, *****, what are you looking at loser, you know you want it..."
At this point, if you're like me, you babble something blandly friendly and make an excuse to run away quickly before it gets worse somehow, trying to think of a way to stick your head in a plastic bag just long enough to black out and cause retroactive amnesia without killing you. Later that night, as the image starts running through your head again, keeping you from sleep, you'll begin to consider just sticking your head in the bag anyway, just to make it stop.
My best psychological explanation for this phenomenon is that the mind, in situations where it feels extremely helpless and threatened, will for lack of a better target decide to destroy itself just to give it the illusion of superiority over something, anything. Or maybe it's just me and I'm crazy.
This gave me pause. Evidently she meant that I should walk up and say hi, while she's standing there with her BF. The woman is very smart, so I don't think it's denseness, it just didn't occur to her that anyone would fail to enjoy that.
I'm wondering if what I'm referring to here is a uniquely male phenomenon, or if it happens to everyone, or if it's just me. Perhaps you know what I'm talking about: you run into the girl and her beau somewhere, perhaps by accident, and she introduces you. The moment you look him in the eye...
BAM! Immediately, for some perverse reason, your mind is flooded with an extremely graphic image of the two of them having sex, with the quality and raunchiness of the sex being directly proportional to how much you liked the girl. If, for example, you're mad about her and you've been dreaming about her every night, he'll be going at it doggy-style with his friends standing around and clapping, and she'll be ripping a pillow to shreds with her teeth in ecstasy.
You freeze in your tracks in horror, which is a tactical error, because in the interests of politeness the guy then extends his hand and says his name. Yay, now we have audio to go with the video! "Oh yeah honey, mmm that feels good, ahh..." "Grunt! Yeah, take it, *****, what are you looking at loser, you know you want it..."
At this point, if you're like me, you babble something blandly friendly and make an excuse to run away quickly before it gets worse somehow, trying to think of a way to stick your head in a plastic bag just long enough to black out and cause retroactive amnesia without killing you. Later that night, as the image starts running through your head again, keeping you from sleep, you'll begin to consider just sticking your head in the bag anyway, just to make it stop.
My best psychological explanation for this phenomenon is that the mind, in situations where it feels extremely helpless and threatened, will for lack of a better target decide to destroy itself just to give it the illusion of superiority over something, anything. Or maybe it's just me and I'm crazy.
thank god im that guy
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