Spoiled Rotten

[Japher]

I have a good friend who's sister was doing the same thing... Living with the parents and having babies left and right. His dad retired last year, and "kicked" her out, he couldn't stand being home all day with HER kids and HER dead beat husband. They moved out, and they help with her, but doing it all like that is not right to her or her kids.

If you want to sacrifice your share of the money in the house to help support your sister than that is up to you. Just keep in mind that for your siblings to get their money you will have to do a cash out refinancing, and I believe that when that happens the property gets reappraised for tax purposes. Meaning that you will a) have a mortgage to pay and b) taxes will be higher... rent may not be as cheap as it could be if you can find the money to pay off your siblings.

I would consult an estate attorney.

[Commy]

If you lived in China, you wouldn't have this problem...not that that helps...

[DanS]

Gaaaaa... Inheritence. That's a tough nut to crack.

I guess the first thing to note is that it's your mom's property, not her children's property. Whatever she wants to do with it is her perogative. If she wants to give it away to a buddhist colony, then that should be respected. If she dies without specifying what to do with the property, then the executor of the estate has final say.

As a matter of equity, I agree with your mom and siblings. If your sis adds on to the house, that's OK, just keep the receipts, since they should do this for tax purposes anyway.

But the executor's views on this should be examined, as a matter of political influence in the family. I encouraged my mom and dad to keep the executor as they had it originally, because I knew the executor wasn't hard up for money and, if push came to shove, could make a command decision about what to do. I was concerned that some of my siblings might try to lobby the others, as in a democracy, and would hold it against the group if they didn't get their way. Instead, their potential acrimony would be directed only at the executor (who has the "authority" by virtue of being the oldest).

[Mrs. Tuberski]

Tuberski says im the buffer here. Id prefer to just be out of it period. Is that possible if my moms will says different.

[DanS]

If you're the executor, you can't really get out of it. If you're not the executor, then you shouldn't feel like you need to be the buffer. It's your mom's problem and decision, ultimately.

[Japher]

I hope I die before my parents... I don't want to have to try and divide my folks stuff between my two sisters. It will be a nightmare.

[Mrs. Tuberski]

Originally posted by Japher
I hope I die before my parents... I don't want to have to try and divide my folks stuff between my two sisters. It will be a nightmare.

not that this is supposed to be funny, but it is. I agree with you. I dont want to help divide her things when my dad died it was a sight. Lucky for me my mom had control and dealt with the siblings.

[Japher]

Just make sure that your mom has control if it before she dies. Make sure your mom has made up her mind before she goes, no one can argue with you when you're dead.

[Mrs. Tuberski]

Originally posted by DanS
If you're the executor, you can't really get out of it. If you're not the executor, then you shouldn't feel like you need to be the buffer. It's your mom's problem and decision, ultimately.

So i can request not to be the one in charge. Cool my mom seems to think im the most level headed and has hinted that im the one but i guess i can tell her i dont want to be. And in which case the others can hash it out and fight amongst themselves.

[DanS]

One possibility is to explain to your mom that the reason you don't want to be executor is because you don't want to be the bad guy when dividing up the house. Suggest to her an alternative where she specifies what to do with the house before her death. That would shield you from recriminations.

[Japher]

Rent the movie "Greedy"

[Mrs. Tuberski]

Originally posted by DanS
One possibility is to explain to your mom that the reason you don't want to be executor is because you don't want to be the bad guy when dividing up the house. Suggest to her an alternative where she specifies what to do with the house before her death. That would shield you from recriminations.

Yes this is true, i need to sit with her and tell her to be specific as possible she has lots of gold and gems (jewlery as well and i cant see my self trying to split all that up between all of the kids. not to mentin he life insurance and stuff like that. I know that she still has the jewelry my dad gave me whne he died i told her i didnt want it. All this has been good info. She travels with her bf alot and mentioned that she was going to New york soon nd wanted to make sure her things were in order.

[Japher]

Lil' sis had her kid at 10am this morning... 5lb. 6oz, 18inches... her name is Brynnlee.

[Mrs. Tuberski]

Originally posted by Japher
Lil' sis had her kid at 10am this morning... 5lb. 6oz, 18inches... her name is Brynnlee.

Congrats

[techumseh]

Originally posted by chegitz guevara
DanS is partially right. At least the sister and husband flying 1st class all the way could take couch one way. I know I wouldn't want to be sitting in couch the whole way. That's a long flight.

Is this your proletarian point of view?