A general Canadian apology to the US (joke)-- and whats up with US beer?

[Flubber]

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.

I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it's not like
you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours.

I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.

I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but, we Feel your Pain.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly
veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Thank you.


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I thought this was funny but the one issue I wanted to bring up is the point about mainstream US beer. Really what is up with that? Popular Canadian beer is just so much better. And there are a host of very wonderful European brews .

Is it just macho attitudes where having weak beer allows juvenile young men to brag about their beer consumption? Why is it that the biggest market in the world consistently accepts inferior brew?

[SlowwHand]

"I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but, we Feel your Pain."

It's all fine.
The intent now is to drop our beer on Hussein.
THAT will teach him.

[DaShi]

Accepted. That's all we really wanted.

[DanS]

We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.

We haven't?

[St Leo]

I believe that this apology is credited to one Rick Mercer of 22 Minutes, Made in Canada, and Talking to Americans fame.

[Demerzel]

I suggest forcing Saddam Hussein to drink American beer, eat American burgers and watch American soaps.

The poor bugger will prolly top himself after just a week of the above, I probably would.

[DinoDoc]

Originally posted by DanS
We haven't?

Thier PM Cretin has been annoying.

[SlowwHand]

We have good burgers.
Where did you come up with the bad burger reference?
Because of the Swiss cheese some use ?

[Demerzel]

I was referring to MaccyDs - not had one for over a year and not missing them

[Paul Hanson]

Say what you like about McDonalds' but I still think they do a good chickenburger. Not the best, but perfectly edible.

[SlowwHand]

The only thing of redeeming social value at McDonald's, is McRibs.
That's why they seldom sell them.

[Paul Hanson]

You can get ribs at McDonalds? That's news to me.

[Japher]

No need to apologize for Canada, we know you are already a sorry excuse for a country...

Cretin is a punk, and yes, Bush isn't the brightest brick on the block, but he is ours.

We don't mind that you can beat us in Hockey as long as we take in most of the ticket sales during the regular NHL season.

Keep you wood, you hosier.

Yes, we rebuilt our White House. No thanks to you!

I like our beer. Any beer with an animal or tree part on it is not worth my penny (or in Canadian money I think that is about $2).

Yeah, it sucks we had to waffle on Iraq. Had it not been for that silly Blair guy, oh wait he is the real athority in you country too.

I think it is nice we can work these things out and remain good neighbors. Just keep one eye open at night, we just bought I butt load of cheap toilet paper, and we aren't afraid to use it!!!

[DuncanK]

Ah well, some American will probably come up with a similar apology to Canadians in an attempt to bash Canada. Why?

[Starchild]

Popular American beers are simply undrinkable. Weak too. Canadian beers are a bit better but stuff like Molson Export makes me gag. Sliemans Honey Brown however is damn good stuff.

What is with the weakness of the beer anyway? What is the standard strength of American beer? 3.5% is the standard content of a pint of beer over here in England. Plenty of lovely 5% beers and even 9% beers are relatively easy to find.