Quickly: How to get a mild case of food poisoning?

[Evil Knevil]

I need to get a sick note so I can be excused for missing a tonne of work (and not get sacked).

I figure if I go to the doctor with a mild (but obvious) sickness she'll 'realise' I'm recovering from something and give me a sick note, saving my ass.

Only problem is, how to get sick without risking my life? I suffer severe toxic reactions to samonella, so thats probably out..... Anything milder? Eggs? Running in the rain? gunpowder? cigarettes?

Please help!! Seriously, think of ways to hurt me!

[aaglo]

Drink a lot of alcohol...

and put a big "L" in your forehead

loserloserloserloserloserloser

[Pekka]

Eat a tobacco. This will get you sick. It sucks though.. but if it's your last chance and you must get sick, then this works.

[Pekka]

But I think you wanna go with something else.. because eating cigarrette can make you truly sick and it's not fun.

[Evil Knevil]

I don't mind, since its to stop me losing my job Don't think that will do though, maybe need a genuine organic sickness.

[Pekka]

How about just eating laxatives (don't know how to spell it), so you can say you have diarrhea?

[monkspider]

Small ammounts of rat poison? Radiation? Bugs?

[MikeH]

It's also VERY, VERY dangerous. There's enough nicotine in 2 cigarettes to kill you and ingesting it is a lot more efficient than smoking so be very careful! The reason it makes you sick is that it's poison.

[aaglo]

I believe this thread will be toast.

I don' think that poly supports self-poisoning...

[Evil Knevil]

But I'm consenting! MikeH, didn't think of that, actually might be a good idea after all!

[Pekka]

Yeah, I don't recommend you eating tobacco, I once did it to get sick, and I got sick. But I felt sooooooo bad it was far from fun . You might want to try something else. Just eat bunch of laxatives and go crap a lot, all day and night, you will be weak when you go to doctor because you have no fluids left in you. I can't recommend this either, everything has its risks..

[monkspider]

Can't you just explain to your doctor what's going on? I'm sure most doctors would be able to sympathize.

[FrustratedPoet]

If you die be sure to post here and let us know.

[Evil Knevil]

Can you reccomend what type/dosage of laxatives?

[Pekka]

Yeah, why can't you explain something else, like you have a serious head ache, like your head is exploding?
That way you don't have to be sick for real?

I GOT IT! YESSSSSSSSSS! I'm a genious.. say you have migrane (sorry I don't know how to spell this either ). It works every damn time! Say you have migrane, and you know it's gonna get even worse soon and you see colors already, and then look suffering and weak like you're about to get shot in the back of your head?