Quickly: How to get a mild case of food poisoning?

[Pekka]

No no.. go with migrane man! It works and you don't have to be sick for real.

[Evil Knevil]

Can't you just explain to your doctor what's going on? I'm sure most doctors would be able to sympathize

Doubt it, there has been a crackdown recently. They were also extremely rude when I was genuinely sick and needed a note.

[monkspider]

You're a genius Pekka!

[Evil Knevil]

Nah, I actually do suffer from migraines, horrendous. but I need an excuse for being absent for a week, I don't think week long migraines exist!

[Pekka]

monkspider, amazing what a young man learns in the army .

[Evil Knevil]

How about using raw chicken as a pacifier?

[Nubclear]

Completly stress yourself out....works for me all the time

[Pekka]

You have to get the whole week out? That's different then.. hmmh.. migrane won't work for that. I doubt they give you a whole week for diarrhea either.. because it can go away right away and usually won't last that long.
If you say you're starting to have a nervous break down, they'll give you at least a week and maybe more, but then again that might not look good... so that's not good either. You got it difficult.. but don't eat tobacco, it is real poisoning like MikeH said and it's not very safe.

[Evil Knevil]

I don't have to be severely sick, just mildly sick, so I can go to the doctor and say "of course it was much worse earlier this week ".

I'm going to link the symptoms with when I had glandular fever and got so sick I had to be hospitalised. Relapses can cause flu-like symptoms, constant sleep and MS style lethargy..... Might be worth a try?

[Pekka]

Hmm.. Ok, this might not be very moral thing for me to do, but since Evil Knevil is in tough spot. Why do you have to be sick? Can't you get think of something else, like 'my close relative got in accident, and I really have to go into hospital to see him/her for a while, because it's critical'??? This is not something to joke with, but I think it would give you some time and they won't say anything? Of course this would be lying about something that is serious.. but if you have to choose between breaking your leg and this... I wouldn't break my leg .

[Pekka]

Ahh, that's even better.. in general. If you can convince her that you are having something you have from time to time, that you have a 'condition'.. and she won't bother to check you out because you seem to be sure of it.. I don't know about the details, but the general idea might work out.

[Evil Knevil]

I'd have to provide evidence that they're sick! Work's a complete ****! I thought I'd try the tripartite approach:

1/ Claim I was mugged and beaten up. True, have police documentation as well. Left me shaken.

2/ Claim my elderly mom got sick and I had to go home and look after her. False

3/ Claim I got sick as well.

What do you think.... too much prehaps?

[MikeH]

Good plan.

GF thing works well as well. I've done that before... mostly 'cause I've actually been sick though.

[Pekka]

Perhaps too much?

Maybe you could say that when you got mugged.. you're still afraid to leave the house and see other people or something like that, and that you want to rest for a while.. since you were traumatized. I don't know what's the procedure in these situations, maybe they order you to go see a shrink or something. Good thing would be that it's true. If it's not too long ago..

[Pekka]

But on the other hand doctor could just say working is good for you, to get back into normal life as fast as possible so you won't lock yourself inside your house. I don't know..