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Quickly: How to get a mild case of food poisoning?

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  • #46
    *blinks* are you retarded??

    eat a bunch of jalapenos,,,I mean a LOT..give yourself severe indigestion...nasuea, the runs...


    dont give yourself food poisoning, ya moron.

    You shouldnt have missed work in the first place, slacker..you SHOULD be canned.

    Comment

    • #47
      Originally posted by FrustratedPoet
      If you die be sure to post here and let us know.
      you kill me, FP (no pun intended!)
      "Chegitz, still angry about the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991?
      You provide no source. You PROVIDE NOTHING! And yet you want to destroy capitalism.. you criminal..." - Fez

      "I was hoping for a Communist utopia that would last forever." - Imran Siddiqui

      Comment

      • #48
        tell 'em you were anally raped at gunpoint by a horde of recently released convicts! Now THAT'S a traumatic event!
        "Chegitz, still angry about the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991?
        You provide no source. You PROVIDE NOTHING! And yet you want to destroy capitalism.. you criminal..." - Fez

        "I was hoping for a Communist utopia that would last forever." - Imran Siddiqui

        Comment

        • #49
          The voice of experience there.
          Jon Miller: MikeH speaks the truth
          Jon Miller: MikeH is a shockingly revolting dolt and a masturbatory urine-reeking sideshow freak whose word is as valuable as an aging cow paddy.
          We've got both kinds

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          • #50
            Yeep.
            Res ipsa loquitur

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            • #51
              "Chegitz, still angry about the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991?
              You provide no source. You PROVIDE NOTHING! And yet you want to destroy capitalism.. you criminal..." - Fez

              "I was hoping for a Communist utopia that would last forever." - Imran Siddiqui

              Comment

              • #52
                KH FOR OWNER!
                ASHER FOR CEO!!
                GUYNEMER FOR OT MOD!!!

                Comment

                • #53
                  Just curious but didn't you have to call in to say you wouldn't be in at the time or are you just trying to set something up for some planned future absence ??
                  You don't get to 300 losses without being a pretty exceptional goaltender.-- Ben Kenobi speaking of Roberto Luongo

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                  • #54
                    You can
                    1. beat yourselfe with a hammer in the forehead threetimes pr hour(always works)
                    2. draw a cigarette throug a tail pipe and the next day eat a suger nugget that has been wetted in gas, this way you'l get a 40°c heat
                    3.do all the other things posted here
                    When it all comes to it, life is nothing more than saltfish - Salka Valka

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                    • #55
                      Tell your doctor you have these symtoms:

                      - vomiting
                      - diarrhea
                      - mild fever (now recessed)
                      - very, very stiff and sore muscles
                      - sore throat

                      I had food poisoning before, but it wouldn't last a whole week.
                      (\__/) 07/07/1937 - Never forget
                      (='.'=) "Claims demand evidence; extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence." -- Carl Sagan
                      (")_(") "Starting the fire from within."

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                      • #56
                        Originally posted by Evil Knevil
                        How about using raw chicken as a pacifier?
                        We call them dummies here young man!

                        Do you have any allergies? Exacerbate it! Otherwise I don't know...
                        Speaking of Erith:

                        "It's not twinned with anywhere, but it does have a suicide pact with Dagenham" - Linda Smith

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                        • #57
                          Maybe you should have gone to work.
                          Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

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                          • #58
                            Don't bother making yourself ill. Just put a pair of underpants on your head, stick a pencil up each nostril and answer any question with the word 'wubble'.
                            "Love the earth and sun and animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown . . . reexamine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency" - Walt Whitman

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                            • #59
                              my vote's for the Clear Skies method!
                              "Chegitz, still angry about the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991?
                              You provide no source. You PROVIDE NOTHING! And yet you want to destroy capitalism.. you criminal..." - Fez

                              "I was hoping for a Communist utopia that would last forever." - Imran Siddiqui

                              Comment

                              • #60
                                This thread's a riot
                                What?

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