I just can't control my depression.

[Solly]

Find interests that will enable you to meet friends.

[FNBrown]

Pardon the flame-bait, but may I suggest perhaps going to church?

I am often comforted in trying times by the following passage:

M't:5:3: Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
M't:5:4: Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
M't:5:5: Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
M't:5:6: Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
M't:5:7: Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
M't:5:8: Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
M't:5:9: Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
M't:5:10: Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
M't:5:11: Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
M't:5:12: Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

[orange]

Provost - Regardless of what happened with your PhD program and your current job situation, you have a lot going for you. You're intelligent and have a great education behind you, but you just haven't found your break. I like Cali's suggestion...have you tried searching abroad for a job? Try taking a **** job with a good company, becuase getting your foot in the door is often the most important step. Then when they realize what you're capable of, you can be moved up. I don't know how much you have or are willing to spend on such a venture, but search around for some openings. Spend at least 2 hours a day researching and/or contacting companies getting your name out. It won't just happen, you have to actively go and grab it.

I'm sure you know this, but suicide won't help anything and I sincerely hope you don't come anywhere close to this point

[Provost Harrison]

Originally posted by Asher

They're a tool on the way to a cure, they're not a magic solution.

You can't get over your depression when you're in a bleak state like Rich has described, you may need a boost to help you out.

Thankyou Asher, as I said, I can't get a grip to be able to do that. I need some kind of grip to sort out my problems, and with the complete lack of any optimism, it is impossible to make rational decisions as to my future. I latch from idea to idea, I make wild swings in pretty important decisions. I just don't know what I want and I wouldn't have any confidence to be able to strive for it if I did. Simple counselling is not enough.

[Bereta_Eder]

FNBrown, I had to somewhat resist from not flaming you

I think Rich is far beyond church like most of us

Not that there are not real gems of wisdom to be found in the holy scriptures. but i digress.

[Caligastia]

You just need to get out there and do stuff!

Seriously man! No man is an island, you need to interact with other humans. Jion a knitting circle() anything, just get out there and meet people.

[Solly]

Yep, agree with Cali.

And I'd also recommend getting a lapdance- you'd be surprised at the effects.

Or take a holiday alone/with an 18-30 group.

[Saint Marcus]

I'm sorry to hear that Provost. I wish you all the best.

Talk to your doctor, he'll probably refer you to a psychiatrist, perhaps with some mild medication (at first). If he doesn't, find a psychiatrist anyway, and work with him on getting the right medication.

Don't expect miracles though. Counseling takes months or years, and finding the right pill cocktail for your individual type of depression might take months too (took me 4 months to find the right medicin and dosage).

Is there anyone you feel close to? A friend, relative. They might be able to make things a little better for you.

Religion can help. You'll get a purpose, and may meet some nice people along the way. But stay level headed, religion can make depression worse (guilt problems).

Other than that I don't know. Sex always helps, even if you had to pay for it. But that's something you have to decide on your own.

Take care, and good luck.

[FNBrown]

Originally posted by paiktis22
FNBrown, I had to somewhat resist from not flaming you

I think Rich is far beyond church like most of us

Not that there are not real gems of wisdom to be found in the holy scriptures. but i digress.

No one's sins are too great to be forgiven, paiktis.

1Jo:1:7: But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

[Provost Harrison]

Don't give me that religious crap either.

[Asher]

Well at least Rich can still think straight.

[Garth Vader]

Do they have any programs for recent graduates over there?

I had a hell of a time getting my first job out of university, and I eventually found a program where the government would subsidize wages for the first 3 months in order to induce companies to hire new grads.

It's how I got hired and I have been here for 3.5 years now.

[orange]

Originally posted by Provost Harrison
Don't give me that religious crap either.

While I'm an athiest myself...i must admit that some of the teachings of religion (any of them) can help you feel better about yourself, especially when compared to others, especially those listed by FNBrown. I wouldn't totally discount his advice. My mom might say the same thing to me, when I'm upset at something, and it often does help at least a little.

[Provost Harrison]

Thanks Asher

Thanks Saint Marcus as well. I have given serious thought to these things. I am very close to my mother and I have talked with her at length about this stuff and is backing me up all the way, being a chronic depression sufferer herself and having being on antidepressants for many years (and there lies the family history).

I know it will take time. I don't have any choice. We all want solutions here and now, but anything, no matter how slow, would help.

And sex...yes, it would be nice, but my current thinking would just not allow for it. I wouldn't have the confidence to approach, and there is all the inadequacy stuff that would go with the first time. It would be just too great a risk to take.

[Capt Dizle]

Provost,

First thing is to realize that depression is an illness just like cancer or heart disease. It's true.

Second, get to a doctor and be frank with him.

I have been in therapy for several months and am taking two anti-depressants and one med for panic attacks. In fact I am about to leave to see my doctor now.

It has help me immensely. Get help.