Do women really like to be treated like crap?

[Bereta_Eder]

women dont like to be treated like crap. what kinda question is that?

it's funny when people attribute their failures with women to the old mantra "it's because i'm a nice guy"

[ZoboZeWarrior]

Most Women like when men take initiatives and decisions.

But of course this a general point of view.

[Bereta_Eder]

usually "nice guy" = you cant excite them, make them feel aliiiiiiiive


no wonder they're gonna talk about their ex-boyfriends to you. even their memory is more exciting than a "nice guy"

[ZoboZeWarrior]

When they tell you about heir ex-boyfriend, hear them a while, then stop then and ask them (with a viril voice and gazing at her manly)
"Eh, Bab. This old craps. Now things about present. Thinks about me !"

If she don't run away screaming loudly, or don't fall laughting to death, you got a good point !

[Flubber]

MrWhereitsat

I don't know what the women will say but my ( old married guy's) take on your friend is that he has confidence and thats 90% of the battle. You envy his success but do you " go up to bat" as often as him or do you just stand back and watch him operate.



Oh and girls don't want to be treated like crap . . . they just want a confident guy. Watch out for the term " nice guy" . . . it can really mean a nice guy but its usually code for " boring" or not attracted to him.

Some girls -- well you won't be to their taste ( I mean . . are you attracted to EVERY girl you see?) The key is to be approaching enough women to find one's to click with.

Back to MrWhereitsat's friend . . . he probably gets shot down loads of times but if he is confident like you say, he just moves on. By being out there, he notices who is into him a bit and gravitates to them. You can be shot down a dozen times but if at the end of the day you have found an attractive girl that likes to be with you . . . well thats pretty darn good

[Nacht]

Originally posted by boann
"nice guy" sometimes is "boring guy"

I do think the 'boring guy' label differs from the 'nice guy' label. I mean, why would they spend time with you at all, if they think you're boring.

[Urban Ranger]

Women don't like to be treated like crap. Nice guys come in many shades, from the ones who bend over backwards for women (or maybe even other men) to those who hold their ground firmly when it is necessary. There are also the boring nice guys and the interesting nice guys.

If you happen to be a boring nice guy without a character, you need to change. Quickly.

[MrWhereItsAt]

Hmm. Reading this thread again, I realise that I was in a "share the knowledge" mode for some reason with my last post. I am sane now.

Meaning I can return to my much-lamented "nice guy" classification. I am the one girls I know b*tch about their a**hole boyfriends to and the one they go out with when they want to have some fun dancing, drinking, playing pool etc, but not the one who ever gets anywhere. Nice is not boring in this case, nice is just not attractive in that way. Some. How.

Confidence may be an issue, but I'm not sure my friend gets shot down. It's more often he gets hit ON. Now that I think about it, by a lot of supposed lesbians as well. Figure that one out. I can't. I'll ask him next time I see him (that'll shock him! ), but he's the sort of guy to tell you EVERYthing, and I'm a close enough friend he tells me all the "illegal" things relationshipwise that he does, and the "forbidden" crushes. I can't recall him telling me about being turned down once.

'Tis an interesting puzzle, and a lot of my 5 years knowing him has gone towards pondering over it - you see how little headway I have got so far? This weekend I will finally go to the annual Drama Club ball for the University. I will be seeing him and all those like him (girls and guys) in one place together for perhaps the first real time. This might make an interesting study.....

[Asher]

I saw the title and immediately thought "God, Spink is such an idiot".

[Urban Ranger]

I had a whole bunch of women hitting on me also. I reckon you need three things:

1. Character
2. Confidence
3. Niceness

There are other factors such as:

- having a good heart, i.e., compassionate towards those less fortunate than you
- likes pets/kids
- having a passion about a hobby or an interest

[MrWhereItsAt]

Nonono. Those things are all well and good, but what you REALLY need is to be able to let everyone know you HAVE these things without seeming conceited. Now THERE'S the trick.

[Felch]

I try to be nice to girls in general, because I already have an awesome girlfriend, and so being just a friend is fine with me. However, with the ones I like, I try to keep things flirtatious, so that if I break up, I'd have a few girls to pick me up on the rebound.

It's not having a cheating heart or nothing, it's just having an insurance policy.

[MrWhereItsAt]

Felch - you sound just like my friend for a moment there!

[Boris Godunov]

I think gay men and women have a lot in common here. Many gay men I know gravitate to men who are rotten for them and treat them in a manner less than they deserve.

Personally, I think it has a lot to do with self-esteem and image problems. When it's pounded into your head that you're a second-class citizen and not equal to the "top dogs," there is a desire to seek their acceptance and love. And if you can get a guy who treats people badly to love you, isn't that an even bigger victory?

But it never works out as planned, alas...

I also think this is part of why so many racial minorities in the gay community seek the white man as their ideal mate...part of the "gaining approval from the superior" psyche. It's really unfortunate to watch.

[MrWhereItsAt]

Boris - it doesn't make it easy to understand why, when said a**holes treat everyone INCLUDING their gfs (or bfs) bad, they are still clung on to. Particularly if their partners know they are treated badly enough to complain to others about it often.