Do women really like to be treated like crap?

[Tingkai]

Originally posted by Frogger
Think about it the opposite way: who wants to date the girl who sleeps with anybody who asks her to anyways?

It depends. Is she good looking?

[Tingkai]

Originally posted by Ron Jeremy
Question. Is the reason you aren't getting any because....
A- You are a nice guy and women prefer bastards?

B- There's some other reason why they just don't fancy you.
I think some posters on this thread are fooling themselves....

Yup, there are guys who can't get a date and instead of looking at what they're doing wrong, they blame women for their problems.

[Tingkai]

Originally posted by chegitz guevara
Most guys think they are "nice guys" when in fact they are a-holes or whimps. Confidence and not seeming desperate also help. As soon as I got a girlfriend, I became 500% more attractive to women.

You're right. The desperation bit is a big thing. If there is any hint that you're desperate for a date, it will drive women away in droves. They'll just think: this guy seems desperate, there must be something wrong with him otherwise.

When you have a girlfriend, you're no longer desperate so women are more attracted to you.

The problem is not looking like you're desperate when you desperately want a date. There's no easy answer. I've had times when every woman I ask out says yes, and times when I strike out everytime. The dry spells eventually end, but I really can't say why things change.

Somehow, you have to look for a woman, while giving off the impression that you're not looking for a woman.

[chequita guevara]

Originally posted by orange


I was told...and I'm nearly quoting this...

"You're just too nice. You never screw up. I feel so inferior because I'm always doing something that really hurts you, and you never hurt me. I think I need to be treated really really badly before I can learn to appreciate you and not take you for granted, and if I don't, i'll just keep on hurting you"

In otherwords, you're a doormat. Women tend not to like whimps.

[Asher]

Originally posted by chegitz guevara
In otherwords, you're a doormat. Women tend not to like whimps.

Yep. They love them as friends but nothing more, it seems.

I was like that in high school, just because I had to see the same people day in and day out I never did anything to piss them off unless I really had to.

And now I'm honest with all my friends.
"Does this dress make me look fat?"
"Like a blimp."
It's amazing how many women actually like hearing the truth from a guy sometimes. On the other hand, it also means they call you lots with lots of trivial stuff. Which is why you tell them stuff like "For **** sake, you were dating him for only a couple weeks, get over it". Stick up for yourself and your needs sometimes.

I don't know if this was the cause, but ever since I started doing that stuff (last year, start of university) some girls I've had as friends have been very flirtatious on many occasions.

[mactbone]

Yeah, but everyone is soooooo boring. I mean seriously, have you listened to people talk? I don't know how people can talk for hours at a time. It's probably because I have an odd combination of interests and so I have a more limited scope of things to talk about with people, but I mean c'mon! Why can't people tlak about cartoons, football, or something - or even some lame ass subject, but do it intelligently! I don't want to hear - the Bengals suck, I already know that, I want to know why you think so, and noone gives a decent conversation, I feel like I'm always coming up with questions so that I can talk to people longer than 5 minutes.

[Urban Ranger]

You need to be a nice guy with a backbone. You can't be a doormat: a doormat indicates you have no character and low self confidence. If you cannot stand up for yourself how could a woman expect you to stand up for her when the time comes?

[orange]

In otherwords, you're a doormat. Women tend not to like whimps.

Yup. You're absolutely right. That's exactly what I was...a doormat.

[orange]

You need to be a nice guy with a backbone. You can't be a doormat: a doormat indicates you have no character and low self confidence.

I've made that change, and have been playing the 'i don't want a relationship' or 'i'm not interested' card with just enough 'well maybe I am' around for the girls to stay interested (I think I have 3 right now ), but my confidence level definitely took a boost since the summer, when I realized that there actually WERE people waiting out our relationship

It feels good to be somewhat wanted

It was tough to make that switch though, away from doormat...it wasn't that I wanted to be one, it was that I wanted to be an understanding and forgiving boyfriend with certain things...and I guess I just didn't realize how it made me look - a push over.

[chequita guevara]

I don't mean to be harsh, Orange, but that speech she gave you was a classic brushoff.

Confidence, respect, and showing some passion are the ways to a person's heart, man or woman.

If push comes to shove, here's what you do. Go to a party where you don't know anyone. Walk around from woman to woman asking her if she wants to have sex. At least one of them will. It's a trick I learned about in my waitering days. When you can actually get into clubs, this will work better. It's probably a good idea to wait until they're smashed. And always, always, always, remember, no means no and if she passes out, she can't give consent.

[KrazyHorse]

So dirty. So very dirty...

[KrazyHorse]

It's probably a good idea to wait until they're smashed.

It's probably also a good idea to wait until you're smashed. Then this will seem like a better idea.

[orange]

you're not being harsh, Che...but I did have both respect and passion in that relationship...and at times confidence...but I was a little too forgiving...

but trust me...for a few months now she's wanted to get back together. But my new found confidence/non-doormattishness has helped me to say "BLOW OFF"

So I don't think it was really a 'classic brushoff'...i mean it was a 3 year relationship we're talking about...

The party scene isn't my thing, and I don't just have sex with strange women. It's not me...it's not how I operate.

[orange]

Originally posted by Frogger

It's probably a good idea to wait until they're smashed.

It's probably also a good idea to wait until you're smashed. Then this will seem like a better idea.

I don't drink

[loinburger]

Just get in the habit of telling malicious people to **** off--be honest with them. You won't be acting like a jerk (since you're not the transgressor), but people will also realize that you've got a backbone.

F'rinstance, when that one chick said "You're just too nice, blah blah, i'll just keep on hurting you", what did you say in response? Anything ranging from "Are you a sado-masochist or something?" to "**** you too" would have been an appropriate response, in my book. Anything more might be crossing the line, but anything less and you look like you haven't got a backbone.