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Skanky's last one was funny
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<Kassiopeia> you don't keep the virgins in your lair at a sodomising distance from your beasts or male prisoners. If you devirginised them yourself, though, that's another story. If they devirginised each other, then, I hope you had that webcam running.
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no chanceComment
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Marketing explained:
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed". That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed". That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed". That's Telemarketing
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed". That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed". That's Brand Recognition."In some of its more lunatic aspects, political correctness is merely ridiculous. But in the thinking behind it, there is something more sinister which is shown by the fact that already there are certain areas and topics where freedom of speech, in the sense of the right to open and frank discussion, is being gradually but significantly eroded." -- Judge Neil DenisonComment
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Your jokes are alright, Ignorance. It's just your accent that needs some work
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A man and woman are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the lady stops and says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." The guy says "WHAT??" The lady explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. Then he realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.
So the next day the man takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can't decide.He tells her to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth £200 each, then they go to the Jewelry Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings. The lady is so excited. She thinks her guy has flipped out, but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet. He says "you don't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then let's get it."
The woman is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says "I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register." The man stops and says, "No, I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." The woman's face goes blank. He continues - "I just wanted you to HOLD this stuff for a while." The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode. The guy says, "You need to be in tune with my financial needs as a Man"."In some of its more lunatic aspects, political correctness is merely ridiculous. But in the thinking behind it, there is something more sinister which is shown by the fact that already there are certain areas and topics where freedom of speech, in the sense of the right to open and frank discussion, is being gradually but significantly eroded." -- Judge Neil DenisonComment
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Nice.Comment
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Ignorance - Ah, sweet revenge
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Two cows are standing together in a field. One asks the other,
"So what do you think about this Mad Cow Disease?"
The other replies,
"That doesn't concern me. I'm a helicopter.""In some of its more lunatic aspects, political correctness is merely ridiculous. But in the thinking behind it, there is something more sinister which is shown by the fact that already there are certain areas and topics where freedom of speech, in the sense of the right to open and frank discussion, is being gradually but significantly eroded." -- Judge Neil DenisonComment
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This sort of German humor reminds me of that joke about telling the weather.Originally posted by Ecthelion
Your jokes are alright, Ignorance. It's just your accent that needs some work
To tell the weather, go to the back door and look for the dog. If the dog is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard. If the dog's fur looks like it has been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy. If the dog has snow on its back, it's probably snowing.
Of course, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.
Sincerely,
The Cat
John Brown did nothing wrong.Comment
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Kenn ich
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I want more jokes
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<Kassiopeia> you don't keep the virgins in your lair at a sodomising distance from your beasts or male prisoners. If you devirginised them yourself, though, that's another story. If they devirginised each other, then, I hope you had that webcam running.
Play Bumps! No, wait, play Slings!Comment
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Knock Knock...Comment
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who's there?<Kassiopeia> you don't keep the virgins in your lair at a sodomising distance from your beasts or male prisoners. If you devirginised them yourself, though, that's another story. If they devirginised each other, then, I hope you had that webcam running.
Play Bumps! No, wait, play Slings!Comment
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A cowboy rides up to an Indian who lies on the ground with his head in a waggon trail.
Indian: - Big waggon, two horses, one white, other black, pale face on box, big black moustache, woman in blue dress, carries umbrella.
Cowboy: - You want me to believe you can deduct all that from just listening to the trail?!!
Indian: - No, run me over, half hour ago.Comment
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Me, silly!Originally posted by Lemmy
who's there?Comment
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