Anyone up for a D&D adventure?

[Sandman]

I attack the death knight, aiming for his smilie button with my sword.

Destroy him and maybe the other undead will be destroyed.

[chequita guevara]

Or at least run away. What level am I? Do I have any magic weapons? Am I even hurting this thing or is it laughing at my puny efforts?

[Vlad Antlerkov]

Che:

The longbow is a composite longbow +2. (I'm figuring your STR rating's good enough. Any blacksmith can make magical composite longbows, actually-- add an extra 100 GP per +1.)

You're 5th-level. You can hurt it on a roll of 13 or better on a d20 (your Thac0 is 13, its AC is 0; as 5th-level, your base Thac0 is 16, I figure your DEX is high enough to improve your aim, and you get an automatic +2 from the bow).

Sandman:

What type of weapon do you have (short sword, long sword, etc.)?

Loinburger:

I already have that netbook, actually.

[chequita guevara]

When I become evil overlord, I'm going to wear something that appears to be the source of my power, and have some urchin handy to shout out, "Attack his McGuffin, it's the source of his power!" Then while the heroes are pounding on something unimportant, I will kill them.

[Sandman]

A bastard sword.

[Sandman]

And a large shield.

[Vlad Antlerkov]

Right, so it's a bastard sword +1. Makes your Thac0 13 (+4 for being 5th-level, +2 for STR rating, +1 for the sword itself). Not a holy sword, though.

Oh, what the hell, I'll roll your initiatives now.

*rolls initiative* Oh, good. Sandman goes first, then the Death Knight, then a couple of skeletons, the Che, then everything else.

Right. Sandman, you... *rolls dice* hit. As you connect, the Death Knight disappears, as do the rest of the undeads. It seems they were all illusions.

(The question is, who made the illusions?)

[chequita guevara]

I knew I shoulda disbelieved.

[Felch]

Heh, my magical water pipe of illusions did. You all really seemed to enjoy that Lebanese shizzle in the last bowl just a little bit too much.

[Vlad Antlerkov]

Okay, now there's nothing blocking our path.

Do you head further in?

[Sandman]

No. I say we stay and look for clues and secret trapdoors.

[loinburger]

Yeah, sure, I'll fly on ahead.

[chequita guevara]

I switch to sword an shield. I follow the paladin, after all, with his high charisma, he's a natural born leader.

[Vlad Antlerkov]

Sandman, Che:

How long do you want to search for?

(It's a bloody cave. Not likely to find anything.)

Loin:

After a few minutes of exploring, you come to a door. It seems to be locked. What do you do?

Felch:

Are you going to search, or will you continue in?

[Jaakko]

I vastly prefer the Unknown Armies method for D&D:

GM: Orcs have thick, brawny necks, but no match for your powerful hands, and it feels good, it's a visceral thrill to feel those neckbones separate and snap. But you're distracted from your pleasure by the nagging yelp of one of the smallest orc warriors. "Pawgma!" it cries. "Pawgma! Pawgma!" It's familiar, one of the few orcish words you know. It means "Daddy..." Rank three Violence check!

PLAYER: Dammit. I knew I shouldn't have taken orcish as a language.