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Little Known Facts About Texas

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  • Little Known Facts About Texas

    As a Texan I can personally attest to the following points as being true.


    Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

    Roadrunners don't say "Beep Beep."

    There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas and
    probably a half dozen species or more in your own backyard.

    There are 10,000 types of spiders. 10,001 live in Texas.

    Armadillos love to dig holes under all bedding plants.

    Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when
    they are ripe.

    If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

    Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.

    You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner
    to corner.

    Pecan is pronounced "puhcon."

    A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.

    Texas has 6 seasons:


    Spring - Feb 16 to April 15;
    Summer - April 16 to July 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees);
    Super Summer - July 16 to Sept 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees);
    Summer - Sept. 11 to Oct 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees);
    Fall - Oct 2 to Dec 1;
    Winter - Dec. 2 to Feb 15

    The wind blows at 90 MPH (THIS IS EXCESSIVE) from Oct. 2 until
    July 15, then it stops totally. (This does not apply to West Texas.)

    Onced and Twiced are words.

    It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy. (Selfbiased and I argue over this alot! Apparently up North it's a cart.)

    Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic and they multiply even
    faster than rabbits.

    Coldbeer is one word.

    People actually grow and eat Okra - - and what's more, they like it.

    Texans really don't have an accent - it's the rest of the world
    that talks funny.

    When the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees
    will survive.

    Green grass DOES burn, as does your skin if you don't run
    fast enough to the next shade tree.

    When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City
    people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night. Cats
    come and go as they please.

    The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the
    first couple of weeks. After that, you don't even notice them anymore.

    When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to
    go to the doctor.

    A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation and is drinkable to most of the livestock. And the Fish and Game Dept. will help you stock them and then they make good fishin' and swimmin' holes too.

    "Bakards and forards" means I know everything about a subject, or the way to go if you're giving directions.

    "Pertnear" means you are almost done-readin' this cute note.

    You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see. Then you get up the next morning before it's light enough to see, and start over.

    Opossum is pronounced "possum" and resembles a big hairless rat.

    "Fixnto" is one word - - and probably one of the most used words
    in the true Texan's vocabulary.
    Welcome to earth, my name is Tia and I'll be your tour guide for this trip.
    Succulent and Bejeweled Mother Goddess, who is always moisturised yet never greasy, always patient yet never suffers fools~Starchild
    Dragons? Yup- big flying lizards with an attitude. ~ Laz
    You are forgiven because you are FABULOUS ~ Imran

  • #2


    What about Katty Cornered?
    Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
    "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
    He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

    Comment


    • #3
      You forgot:

      "King of the Hill" is the best documentary on Texas life out there.
      Today, you are the waves of the Pacific, pushing ever eastward. You are the sequoias rising from the Sierra Nevada, defiant and enduring.

      Comment


      • #4
        Yup! I forgot about that one. I'm sure there's more......Ohhhhhh yes I forgot the use of the two words you and all combined together to make ya'll

        Lonestar ~ true....true. I've known several Boomhauer's in my life.
        Welcome to earth, my name is Tia and I'll be your tour guide for this trip.
        Succulent and Bejeweled Mother Goddess, who is always moisturised yet never greasy, always patient yet never suffers fools~Starchild
        Dragons? Yup- big flying lizards with an attitude. ~ Laz
        You are forgiven because you are FABULOUS ~ Imran

        Comment


        • #5
          My theory is that Texas is America squared. Then again, I'm just an European.

          In other words, America is Texas of the world. Most other nations have their Texases too, though. Ostrobothnia is Texas of Finland, Bavaria is Texas of Germany, and so on.

          Ostrobothnia can't divide itself up to five states, though. My antoher theory is that 30% of education in Texas consists of memorizing this useless fact Texans can then repeat to people on Internet. (70% consists of shootin' varmints.)
          "Spirit merges with matter to sanctify the universe. Matter transcends to return to spirit. The interchangeability of matter and spirit means the starlit magic of the outermost life of our universe becomes the soul-light magic of the innermost life of our self." - Dennis Kucinich, candidate for the U. S. presidency
          "That’s the future of the Democratic Party: providing Republicans with a number of cute (but not that bright) comfort women." - Adam Yoshida, Canada's gift to the world

          Comment


          • #6
            Aussies are pretty good Texans.

            Sorry, it just sounded funny.
            “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
            "Capitalism ho!"

            Comment


            • #7
              Texas also has a habit of exporting their misery to the rest of the country (GW Bush, Phil Gramm, Enron, etc.).

              Tutto nel mondo è burla

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Boris Godunov
                Texas also has a habit of exporting their misery to the rest of the country (GW Bush, Phil Gramm, Enron, etc.).

                Ah, but don't forget- Bush wasn't born in Texas.
                You're a man- you can be replaced.

                Comment


                • #9


                  ...people like to cry a lot... - Pekka
                  ...we just argue without evidence, secure in our own superiority. - Snotty

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I forgot Tom Delay, too...the worst of the bunch.
                    Tutto nel mondo è burla

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      We don't allow Borises in Texas, that's for sure.
                      And Tia, it's y'all.
                      Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
                      "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
                      He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        No Texas, is negative(America squared).

                        America squared would get rid of all the negatives.
                        Concrete, Abstract, or Squoingy?
                        "I don't believe in giving scripting languages because the only additional power they give users is the power to create bugs." - Mike Breitkreutz, Firaxis

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          We don't allow freaking wombats either.
                          Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
                          "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
                          He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by SlowwHand
                            We don't allow Borises in Texas, that's for sure.
                            Guess I won't bring up my visits every two years or so to San Antonio...
                            Tutto nel mondo è burla

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by SlowwHand
                              We don't allow freaking wombats either.
                              Sounds like a rather xenophobic place! Tsk, tsk.
                              Tutto nel mondo è burla

                              Comment

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