heterosexual sex amounts to sexual abuse to a woman?

[Tingkai]

Originally posted by blackice
Lets' face it you have no idea what you are talking about none what so ever. That fact is all too obvious by your last post talk about a waste of space. Perhaps you should rethink why you are posting here highjacking this thread for your own ego? Now as far as "explaining to you" or educating you I have nor the time or inclination to do so it truely would be a "waste of space" something like what appears to be between your ears...

Still dogging the question, eh?

I'll ask it again. You wrote:"Every woman who has been to the family court, which is about 89% to date..."

All I'm asking is that you explain what you meant. No need to get defensive. This is not a personal attack. I am not suggesting that you are wrong. I am just asking you to clarify what you are writing.

Are you trying to suggest that 89 per cent of women have gone to family court?

If you are not willing to explain what you think, then there is no point in writing messages (unless you just want to write to yourself). I would like to know what you think. You seem to be educated. You have provided an interesting link in a previous message. There is no need to be defensive when people ask you questions.

As well, I made no personal attacks on you. I merely pointed out that when you send messages that are filled with typos then it is difficult for people to understand what you are trying to say.

[Blackwidow24]

Originally posted by Snapcase
Everyone in this thread so far.

i think you are using the term EVERYONE a little to loosely. I don't think I have made any comments that are condeming or analytical!

[Imran Siddiqui]

It's a bit like attacking all christians using Jerry Falwell as the model.

Which has been usually the case for those attacking Christians on this forum, you must admit. The logical fallacy of taking a part and attributing it to the whole.

[Dis]

you are doing the same thing by using the word EVERYONE.

[Dis]

And I disagree with much of this thread.

I do support feminism. I believe there is far too much abuse that goes on. But what I support more is women who are abused. Far too often women can't seem to break this cycle of violence.

But what is even more important than feminism directed at adult women, is getting young girls educated and raising their self esteem. If you do this, you will solve most problems that our society now faces. We have come a long way. Many women will not stay with abusive men. But we still haven't eliminated the problem entirely.

I disagree with statements above. They seem to imply that it is healthier for a child to stay in an unloving home where the father is present. If it is in the best interests for the mother to raise the child alone, then I support it.

I support radical feminism as well. Sometimes you need radical ideas to shake things up. Feminism still has a long way to go in this country.

The thing I do not support is hatred towards men. And this is what I sense from the statement. I really don't like it when some women hate me because I'm a man.

And I used the wrong word above. I used the words force their opinion. They obviously don't do this. I don't want to get specific on where this source came from. But it is used from a medium that can be very influencing on women. For good reason though. It is an intelligent piece of work for the most part. It just has a few whacky ideas.

summary: radical feminism = good as long as it doesn't preach hatred towards men. Any kind of hate speech must be challenged no matter who it comes from.

[MrFun]

Well, I have three straight women around my age, who are my friends. They never have to worry about me hitting on them--and definitely never have to worry about me being sexist.

[Flubber]

A few points


1. There are abusive relationships and good relationships whether we are talking heterosexual, homosexual, familial or casual. I reject the idea that heterosexual sex is inherently abusive and my wife agrees. Its a mutual thing that occurrs when we both want it to


2. While any spousal support may drop sharply or be eliminated on remarriage, child support would be largely unaffected. Child support from both parents is the right of the child !! Canada has adopted a set of Child support guidelines which effectively set out he amounts of support a person pays for any given income. Deviations from this happen but they are infrequent.


3. The habit of using the radical element of a group to try to discredit the whole group is unfortunately common. An ex-girlfriend was upset to see that to join an association of female lawyers, she was expected to sign a declaration in favor of a woman's right to choose. The assumption was that, as a feminist, she must espouse certain viewpoints. The same thing occurrs when some feminists were critical of another feminist who chose to leave work to care for her child for a couple of years.

I always though the point was for women to have free choices and not to all aspire to the traditional male model. But what do i know ? I'm only a guy. . .

[mactbone]

It's a guy thing ... oink, oink
By Bob Halloran
Special to Page 2


I am man -- hear me roar!

In our politically correct society, one segment of the populace can still acceptably be victimized by prejudice. Men. It's always open season on men.

America's sensitivity training has taught us to be respectful of every demographic group except for men. Tease us. Cajole us. Mock us. Heck, we don't ask for directions! That's funny stuff! We'll do a beige load of laundry because we're too dumb to know if beige goes with the whites or colors.

Commercials portray us as people who love our satellite dishes, flat-screen TVs and cars, above all else. We're told on a regular basis that we're emotionally vapid. That women are more sensitive, more nurturing, more communicative, smarter in every way. It seems to me "Everybody Loves Raymond," except for his wife, who constantly calls him an idiot.

The next time you hear someone say the words "Men are ..." -- replace the word "men" with any other group. "Jewish people are ...," "Gay people are ...," "Italians are ..." Whatever words come next are general, inaccurate, unfair, prejudicial and often times despicable.

But that's OK because ... men are pigs. Men only think with their lower anatomy. Men are more violent than women. Men scratch themselves in inappropriate places and belch at inopportune times. Men are less important in raising children; so women should be granted custody in 90 percent of divorces.

These are indisputable facts, aren't they? So, label us. We're all the same. Right? In case the sarcasm doesn't drip off the page, let me answer my own question: Of course not!

But the predominant view of men appears to be unfairly negative. Can you think of even one generally positive pervading thought about men? Men are ... what? Good at fixing things around the house? Men are ... stable? This is all we get?

Well, as an unstable man who's lousy at fixing things around the house, all the negative depictions of men are eating away at my self-esteem. I constantly have to remind myself that I'm not a pig. I don't scratch ... that much ... at least, not when people are looking. I express my feelings ... when I have them. I am extremely nurturing. And now I choose to defend myself by going on the attack! That shouldn't come as a surprise. As a man, it's in my nature to be aggressive.

Let's face it. Women are frequently the worst-case scenario, as in: "I'll call a couple of the guys and see if they want to play golf Tuesday. Worst-case scenario, I'll play with my wife."

That's because when it comes to male-female relationships, men are usually the better athletes. Yep, you read that right. Men are better athletes. They're bigger, faster and stronger! Oooh, I'm a crazy man living on the edge! Watch out, I'm about to run with scissors. I'm crazy!! How dare I make such generalizations!

First, my credentials. I have five sisters, four of whom are very good athletes (the fifth I have to assume was adopted). I'm sure my sister Jane can still crush me in basketball, and I stopped trying to beat my sister Tricia in arm wrestling when I was a junior in high school. In fifth grade, I lost a boy-girl baseball hitting competition to Sue Minogue. She popped up to the pitcher. I hit a hard ground ball, but the contest was "distance traveled in the air." I still have night sweats about the humiliation that followed. I also dated a swimmer in college who was so muscular I thought I'd eventually get some sort of "Crying Game" surprise.

And I'm sure that my sisters can match up with their mates in several athletic endeavors -- tennis, skiing, darts, jogging. But indulge me. In most relationships, the man is better than his female counterpart. I'm not saying every man is better than every woman. I'm simply saying that more often than not -- in somewhere between 50.00001 and 99 percent of the cases, men in a relationship are better overall athletes than their female counterparts. Cripes, Mia Hamm is hanging out with Nomar Garciaparra -- and he might even be the better soccer player. John McEnroe says he can beat Venus Williams in tennis right now, and I have no reason to doubt him.

Therefore, it's often difficult for men to play sports with their significant others. I went skiing with my young lady friend recently and was pleasantly surprised to discover that she's every bit as mediocre as I am. Man and woman: equal. Now, how often does that happen?

The ski trip was extremely enjoyable and relaxing. The ping-pong game I played with my ex-wife on our honeymoon was not. I played left-handed and tapped everything back, but since I tapped everything back, I eventually won every point. Apparently, that made me an overly competitive bully. I probably should have intentionally whiffed a few shots, but that doesn't work either. My friend Matt tells me his wife also got peeved at him once for crushing her in racquetball, so he started giving away points. And she got even angrier ... because he was patronizing her. Playing sports with women can be a no-win situation.

In the world of ulcers, a woman playing golf with her boyfriend is what's known as a "carrier." Mrs. Feinswog was the original cause of my dyspepsia. I was her regular caddy. I don't think she ever hit a ball more than 80 yards, and before every shot she'd ask me what club she should use.

"Well, you've still got about 200 yards, so you should probably stay with that same freakin' 4-wood for about three or four more shots. Then after a couple of chips and three putts, I think you should ignore your husband, when he says 'The rest of that's good,' and then putt it out anyway!"

Therein lies the rub. Women always putt it out! Either that or they overcompensate by saying, "The rest of that's good" when you're still in the sand trap.

I'd rather be stranded on a desert island with Fred Willard than be accused of slow play. So when a woman waggles over the ball like she's Sergio Garcia, and then rolls the ball up the fairway about 40 yards and stops to ask what she did wrong, I look back at the tee and see a foursome catching up to a twosome, and I die a thousand deaths. I was playing with my ex-wife once when a group behind us asked if they could play through, and I asked if I could go with them. Please!

Believe me, I know that even as I'm writing this, I'm thinking I'm going to make somebody angry. But as I write that, I'm thinking, "Why?" I've acknowledged many women are exceptional athletes. I've acknowledged many women, including family members and my love interest, can more than hold their own with me. But I'm also making the claim that, "generally speaking," men often can qualify for sainthood if they play sports with women without having a vein burst through their temple.

How do I know this? I guess I don't. Can I prove it? Nope -- can't prove it. I'm just stating an opinion based on general observations and stereotypes.

In other words, I'm such a pig!

Bob Halloran is an anchorman for ESPNEWS.

[devilmunchkin]

HI
i'm a woman
I've never been abused. i REALLY enjoy sex and often i like painful masochistic sex (to a certain extent. no saddles and cattleprods).
I've never felt abused by any man that i've had intercourse. i saw it as a equal exchange and connection between us.

[Sirotnikov]

Snappy, don't be so grimm.

You're using that feminist logic again

Just becaue men get annoyed by women who hate men and want to abuse them, doesn't mean they don't accept good ideas.

I support women's rights and I support equality in everything possible.

However, I do acknowledge there are ungappable differences, starting with biological ones such as sex and pregnancy, and continuing to psychological and social ones.

I think the correct idea would be to make more equality and freedom, and to ease up the burden of each sex in roles which can't be devided.

But still, women and men are not the same, and while equal, are different. One simply can't treat them exactly the same in every scenario.


Further more, my personal views are much more family directed. Many people today see their will for achievement as higher than anything else.

I personally think, that when you bear a child, you should put him in the top of the priorities list. Admittedly it puts much greater pressure on the mother, and fathers must do more than they do today.

It is very unsatisfying for a woman to give up career for a kid, and see her husband get to high places. But I think that first, the husband should do his best to allow his wife to have her own career. Esp. I think a man should not leave his home and persue "bread making" because the child needs a father.

I believe that TV / nannies are not good replacements for caring and loving parents 24/7.

And when the child is grown up enough, the husband should overtake many responsabilities to allow the mother to return to her normal career life.

And in any case, even if one side does appear to "lose", this shouldn't be looked at from a selfish personal perspective, but rather from a "family" point of view. Naturally, this shouldn't be used to justify keeping down women, but this should be remembered.

Originally posted by blackice
Tingkai Good comeback... completely irrellivant, personal, no issues raised no points made.

Unfortunately true.

[el freako]

Whilst I have no problem with feminism I find statements like this extremely offensive.

My wife was sexually abused and tortured weekly between the ages of 2 and 11 and still suffers major effects - I think that to call heterosexual sex 'abuse' belittles the ordeal she went through.

[Lung]

Originally posted by Case
I seem to remember from an ideas in politics course that that statement was made by one of those American radical anti-porn femminists called something like Dorkins...
I *think* that she believes that men have all the power in hetrosexual sex, and as a result women should stear clear of blokes.

She must have been a real fugly

Seriously, though, she can't have been a good sort, because as any red-blooded male knows, gorgeous women can get whatever they want Really, i mean, if Claudia Schiffer (Schiffer-brains, if you like ) seduced you, would you really be the one in power?

Now there's a pleasing thought

[Provost Harrison]

heterosexual sex amounts to sexual abuse to a woman?

I think the one thing that Stew forgets is that woman enjoy and want to have sex too, this concept hasn't quite dawned on him yet

[Lung]

Originally posted by el freako
I think that to call heterosexual sex 'abuse' belittles the ordeal she went through.

I couldn't agree with you more. Stupid radicals, in trying to further their cause, often end up belittling the real victims. To say all sex is rape only serves to make real rape no worse than consenting sex. Really, statements beyond the absurd like the one we're debating should be ignored completely

[Imran Siddiqui]

Originally posted by Provost Harrison
I think the one thing that Stew forgets is that woman enjoy and want to have sex too, this concept hasn't quite dawned on him yet

No, he thinks those womyn are sluts.