Greatest man I've ever known is waning.....

[ravagon]

My sympathies Tia.

[Zkribbler]

Originally posted by Tiamat

What you can do for me is post good jokes not to dirty just one or two of those (he does like a good dirty joke ) but mainly ones that we can tell in mixed company. He loves jokes so the more I can tell the more he will laugh. Happiness is my main goal for him right now.

A man is walking down the street with a live lobster in his hand. He runs into a friend who asks, "Where're you going with that live lobster?"

"I'm taking it home for dinner."

"Wait a minute!" says the lobster, "I've already had dinner. Take me to a movie."

***
A man is on a psychiatrist's couch complaining, "I don't get it, Doc. Everwhere I go, people ignore me. It's like I'm not even there. What can I do?"

The psychiatrist says, "Next!"

***

You have my permission to re-write this one, which I wrote myself. About a million years ago, when I was an undergrad, there was an ad in our student placement center by comedienne Phyllis Diller, who was looking for a joke writer. The next day, the ad was replaced by a note of apology, saying Ms. Diller's plans had changed and so she'd not be hiring anyone. But by then, I'd already come up with the following:

Fang's not speaking to me. Y'see, his mother's coming to visit, and I suggested she stay in the garage. --But I wasn't trying to be inhospitable! It's just the only room in the house with a door big enough for her to fit through!

[Mr. Harley]

Tia, I lost my mother when she was in her fifites. I truly know how you feel, and all my blest wishes for you and your family.

Please, if it's not too late, make sure everyone knows his wishes. Too often loved ones cannot let go, but depending on how far it gets, due to either quality of life or actual brain damage, the person involved realizees it is time to move on. My mother had metasized cancer in her liver, held on till I got home and then did three day later. They had offered her two more months of life with agressive chemo, but she made her decision that wasn't "life" as she saw it - chemo was hideously painful then - and it was time to move on. I haven't thought about this in years, may God bless you and your family.

[Proteus_MST]

My Sympathies Tiamat

Here´s another joke

Three men are before the Gates of Heaven.
Petrus tells them:
"O.K., you can do what you want in Heaven, as long as you don´t step onto a Chicken. If you do you will get chained to a very ugly women for the Rest of your Life."
The enter through the gates and see, that it might be very difficult to not step onto a chicken, as there are chicken everywhere.
After maybe 6 Hours the first of the men steps onto a Chicken. At once Petrus appears with a really ugly woman and Handcuffs and chains him to the woman.
The days pass and after 2 weeks the second man gets chained to an ulgy woman.
After four weeks the three men meet again, and see that the third men is chained to Claudia Schiffer.
So they ask him how this could happen.
Then Claudia Schiffer says:
"I stepped onto a chicken"

A doctor, a lawyer and a Programmer were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress.

The lawyer says:
"For sure a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems."

The doctor says:
"It's better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health."

The Programmer says:
"You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that when the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress thinks you're with your wife, you can do some Programming."

Two Programmers meet. One of them has a Frog in his pocket who always yells:
"Kiss me, kiss me. If you do it I will turn into a beautiful Princess and will love you forever"
So the other one asks why he hasn´t kissed the frog yet.
And the Programmer with the Frog in the Pocket answers:
"Look, I don´t have the money or time for a girlfriend. But a speaking Frog is really cool."

[Tiamat]

Thanks for the jokes We have come to realize that last week he was bleeding and lost alot of blood. We didn't even think of this until I saw Diss's articles (thanks they were very helpfull). He had been passing blood in his urine and apparently it was quite alot. Any other articles you guys can find would be great. Did read all of them this morning trying to get on to the hospital.

It's very sureal to see the strongest person you've ever known in your life leaving before your eyes. Keep the thoughts and we will check in tonight. Honestly I don't think it's going to be much longer but while there's breath I will make sure there is lots of love and lots and lots of laughter.

[Colon™]

Take care Tia.

[MrFun]

I lost my father when he died from a stroke eight years ago.


Be strong Tia, but also, don't bottle up your feelings.

[Mr. Harley]

By the way - you're doing the most important thing, being there for him to surround him with love in his final moments. To gently drift off in the arms of his loved ones... (don't let the hospital staff chase you out - bring him home if you have to do, the nurse/cost are worth it, trust me please on this if it is a factor.)

[Hueij]

Don't know what to say...

Keep strong Tia.

[Barinthus]

He, you and his loved ones are in my thoughts.

Here's a joke. Forgive me if it's too dirty - my mind is permanmently in the gutters.

Three young men who are best friends went on a skiing trip together to Lake Tahoe. They had this cabin but it had only one king-sized bed. Since they all basically considered themselves brothers, they figured why not share the bed.

In the morning, the guy who slept on the left side said "Wow, I sure had a such hot and steamy dream last night, it actually felt real!" The guy who slept on the right side said "Hey, man! Me too!"

The guy who slept in the middle said "Really? All I dreamt was all about skiing."

[JohnT]

Bless you, Tia.

[Sirotnikov]

You're in my thoughts as well now. Be strong.

[Ming]

Tiamat,

I hope when I'm on my death bed, there is somebody like you around to make the passing easier...

Stay Strong!

[Alex]

Best wishes to you and to your family, Tia.

As Ming said, I hope that in my final days I'll have someone like you around...

[Theben]

Good luck, Tia.