Hilarious euphemisms that YOU use!

[gunkulator]

My favorite: "Looks like it's bj week".

Too bad I don't hear it all that often.

[Shogun Gunner]

i mentioned "beating the bishop" before for a masterbation one...

What about

waxing the dolphin
grappeling with the one eyed snake
tossing webbing

[Gangerolf]

getting laid: "Get a fur [coat] on the hook"

masturbate: "lure the salmon"

Oh well. They don't translate too well but they're hilarious in norwegian, I promise!

[Gangerolf]

urinate: "walk the monster", "combat drought"

vomit: "feed the fishes/doves/ducks/mice" (depends on where you are) or simply "fertilise" <- this one can be used about urinating or defecating as well.

[Gangerolf]

A hotdog: "C*ck in a canoe"

[CorpusScorpius]

Heard you ate lunch twice= vomitting

[epicurian]

Anyone interested in locating a really good source of sweary and otherwise hilariously inventive and foulmouthed euphemisms would be well advised to get a copy of 'Rogers Profanisauris'. It is a swearing dictionary published by the makers of Viz. (For anyone who doesn't know, Viz is a humoursous comic printed in England, though I think it is also sold in the U.S.A. , the website is quite fun too). It also got a foreword by Terry Jones out of Monty Python as well.
Within can be found euphemisms such as:
Boxing the Jesuit,
Strangling Kojak,
throttling captain Picard. As well as others on a wide variety of topics.

[Japher]

[Lonestar]

Stroking the Weasel.

[Bosh]

"riding the pink line"

[OzzyKP]

On a date with Miss Michigan
or
On a date with Rosy Palms & her 5 sisters.

[Alinestra Covelia]

Epicurian, looks like you're my type of foul-mouthed Hive citizen.

Together we can both properly control the drones, and turn the Chironian air blue.

So there I was, gnoshing away at a real Easter-islander, when suddenly he gives me dirty yogurt. I thought I was going to speak Welsh.

LONG LIVE THE CHAIRMAN.

[OzzyKP]

Munch Carpet

[OzzyKP]

Tonsil Hockey

Pocket Pool

[self biased]

.... riiiiiiiiiiight.