Parental sayings

[Japher]

Daddy drinks because you cry.

Good times, good times...

My Dad on relationships:

'If you want a successful marriage/relation you only need to remember three phrases; "I'm sorry", "your right", "it's all my fault". NEVER say "it'll never happen again", cause them women have a memory for that kind of ****...'

'Liquor is quicker, but sex won't make you fat'

My Dad on careers:

'Make your hobby your career, and you'll hate your hobby'

'I'd rather be lucky than good anyday'

[st_swithin]

My mother on relationships:

"If people were meant to be happily married, marriages would still be arranged. You don't know what you want."

"Marriages are founded on love, then the rest of the time you keep looking back at those times so you know how happy you WERE compared to how miserable you ARE."

"Life isn't like it is on TV, otherwise we'd all be on TV."

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

"I'll..." (insert random noun here) "....you in a minute, my lad!"

eg- "I'll "bike" you in a minute, my lad!"

[st_swithin]

Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp
"I'll..." (insert random noun here) "....you in a minute, my lad!"

eg- "I'll "bike" you in a minute, my lad!"

That's like a non sequitur mad lib.

[Az]

"Do whatever you want. I don't care anymore" which instinctively led to me doing whatever mum wanted me to do, as to not upset her too much.

[st_swithin]

Sometimes I wonder if homophobes want gay people to smoke - using freshman-style reverse psychology, we refer to cigarettes as butts and fags, then we get people like Oprah to advocate empowerment by reclaiming a 'negative' word.

[Richelieu]

There are 3 things you should never be shy about: Food, Education and Sex. If you are you'll be the one losing out in the end.

Fortunately, this was said to me not by my parents but my girlfriend. So i didn't wait and put some of the advise to good use right away.

[Lefty Scaevola]

MY line:

"Stop being sorry and start getting it right the first time"

[SpencerH]

I'm a parent so here are my sayings:

Life is hard and then you die.

If you're gonna hoot with the owls you're gonna scream with the eagles.



What on earth is going on here? (surprise)

What the hell is going on here? (blood pressure rising)

What the **** is going on here? (blood vessels expanding)

Jesus ****ing christ! What the **** is going on here? Are you completely insane? (embolism)

[CorpusScorpius]

dad " Youre a grown man make up your own mind "
mom "remember the 4 F's son find em fool em f*** em forget em"

[rah]

YOUR MOM SAID THAT
She must have been really wacked.

[CorpusScorpius]

Originally posted by rah
YOUR MOM SAID THAT
She must have been really wacked.

Well she has been sick w/ Lupus & Alzheimer like symptoms (maybe even dementia) but she told me that after a painful breakup 8 years ago.................

[CorpusScorpius]

heres another one my dad told me " If your friends eat Crap are you going to also"

Mom after talking to me & I wasnt listening " boy talking to you is like pi**ing in the wind"

[st_swithin]

Like handing out donuts at the anorexics' convention.

[The Viceroy]

Dads pearls of wisdom ..

You don't look at the mantalpeice when your stoking the fire!

There all sisters upsidedown.

Get use to calling girls, Darling .. it will be invaluable when you start cheating.

A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush