What to do about my girl's overprotective mother?

[Al B. Sure!]

Well I went to a mall with my girlfriend and did that usual thing that a guy gets irked by but knows he got to do: window-shopping with his girl... except in every aisle of every store

anyway, she then called her mother to pick her up and they never made a set place for them to meet. Her mother thought she would be at a different entrance and after looking there, went to other entrances and found her with me.

apparently, my girl never told her mother about me and when she had previous boyfriends and hinted at relationships with them, her mother would give a flat out no, you're not dating my daughter.

my girl told her mother there that she had just ran into me coincidentally about five minutes ago and she knew me from work.

her mother went crazy... you know what i'm talking about when they start stopping strangers telling them what her daughter said and then saying, "They just saw each other five minutes ago! And she's at the wrong door! Do you believe that? Do you believe that?"

on and on... one stranger said that my girl seemed real nice and more moral than most girls and that i also seemed respectful and all that. my girl's mother agreed and calmed down and what not and then they left.

now of course i understand where her mother is coming from with this but i also know that if there's one straight guy on earth who she can trust with her daughter it's me. How can I get this woman's approval to be with her daughter?


thank you

[Drake Tungsten]

You'll never get her approval. You're just going to have to put a cap in that *****es' ass.

[DaShi]

Break yo foot off in her ass!

[General Ludd]

Did you two join a triad or something?

[Snotty]

You're lucky to get some stranger to stick up for you. If some crazy woman started ranting at me I'd just get the hell out of there.

Maybe your girl shouldnt have lied to her? Trust is 2 ways and all.

But if the mum has freaked in the past, its fair enough.

[Al B. Sure!]

my staying there helped corroborate my girl's story as her mother said that if i was still there and hadnt run away, i must have nothing to hide.

anyway like i said i understand where she's coming from. she don't want her daughter being sexually active and getting pregnant or nothing like that. i just got to prove to her i'm better than 99% of men. I was hinting at it when she was questioning me (in a mannerful way i was saying how I didnt believe in that kind of stuff, i'm a college student, and that i'm a registered republican) but she was still suspicious. to complicate matters, my girl lied about our relationship.

[General Ludd]

Originally posted by Albert Speer
and that i'm a registered republican

[Pekka]

I don't think you can do anything about it.. except be on your best behaviour at all times when she's around, so time will make it better. She just needs to get to know you I guess... though she sounds like she's over reacting from what you said, so I don't know.

[FrustratedPoet]

her mother went crazy... you know what i'm talking about when they start stopping strangers

You may be suprised to know that this has never happened to 99% of people. Either we're not so scary-looking that a girl's mother freaks out whenever they see us or we don't date people with such abusrdly conservative views that being seen holding hands in public is a scandalous event. Do you live in Afghanistan or something?

[Pekka]

You could try to convince your gf to arrange some kind of a meeting, you know eat in her home or something like that.. and then try to impress the mother, but not too much because it shows if you try too hard and that's kind of a turn off for many people. For example in my more serious relationship (means it lasted more than 2 weeks, less than 2 months) I offered to change the tires to the car of the family, but the man of the house was so skeptic about me clearly, he wanted to watch me do it and that I'd do it correctly. So I changed the tires, big deal.. but he saw me do it and we had a good talk too, about cars mostly but it was good talk anyway. So they didn't object me sleeping at their house after that. Before that she said I couldn't stay, but after that I could, so I guess I did something right. Though it turned out that the dad was a complete drunk, woke me up in the middle of the night to offer me beer and made us some stakes (yeah, in the middle of the night, I WAS sleeping), but after I was drunk too it was pretty smooth . My point is, try to sneak in some way and do something for them to show you are not a jackass and that you can actually do something and then you get to talk too. If they don't help you out or talk to you, they'll still appreciate your efforts. They don't like you when they really say NO you can't do it.

[Al B. Sure!]

Do you live in Afghanistan or something?

no. I live in Philadelphia...

we don't date people with such abusrdly conservative views that being seen holding hands in public is a scandalous event.

My girl was quite worried that us sitting next to each other on a bench would make her mother angry so she got up and stayed some feet away from me.

as for that ****, Pekka... i dont know. it seems like too much. maybe chaperoned dates will work (an 18 and a 17 year old being chaperoned by a grandmother...) as that was what her mother said she would approve of.


thanks

[reds4ever]

Originally posted by Albert Speer
and that i'm a registered republican

they can't get women pregnant? That must be some initiation ceremony!

[st_swithin]

are the midterms hard?

[Pekka]

Uhh,, that would be very uncomfortable . Being chaperoned that is. I really don't know what your options are, I guess I just wouldn't do anything about it.
That's too much IMO, you guys are old enough to NOT be chaperoned even if someone is overprotective. Too bad, I hope she comes around.

[Urban Ranger]

Re: What to do about my girl's overprotective mother?

Originally posted by Albert Speer
How can I get this woman's approval to be with her daughter?

Trust can only be earned, and the only way you can earn trust is through your actions.