Women changing their names when married?

[Ecthy]

now I know why you are how you are, SlowwHand...

[Dinner]

Divorce would have been uncommon in 1970 so a woman would have had that much pressure to not change her name. It would suck to have everyone ask "Why did your name change?" You'd have to explain it over and over and...

[Guest]

Yes in Quebec, marriage is not a reason for ppl to change name automatically anymore.
Ppl lose lots of old grandmothers in hospital for this reason these days...
(Almost not kidding)

[DRoseDARs]

My mom kept her maiden name unhyphened when she married my stepdad in 1997. My aunt in Seattle hyphened on her husband's lastname. My uncle's wife in Denver hyphened her lastname onto my uncle's lastname.

[:) Smiley]

In Chinese it's weird... Let's say a woman called Mary Chang gets married to a Mr. Lee. You would then refer to her as "Mrs. Lee" but if addressing her by her full name "Mary Chang." In the eyes of the law the name does not change.

[Dis]

Originally posted by FrustratedPoet


Why?

If I'm going to be paying for the children, they are getting my name plane and simple. And yes I would be paying most of the bills.

But I would not insist my wife take my name. She can have her individuality if she wants. It's a silly custom that implies ownership. Men do not own women. But a man can own his kids

[ravagon]

If one party is going to change names then said party should not do so if said party:-

(a) Has notable academic qualifications in original name.

(b) Is travelling/working overseas within a short space of time of the name change and then has to try and get the name on her passport changed.

(c) Wishes to apply for loan/mortgage, etc, in said other country or not, within a short space of time of said name change.


A colleague learned the above the hard way.

[st_swithin]

Actually, in the Chinese culture I grew up in, let's say Mary Lee marries John Wong.

She would be known by her biological family, extended family and among the Chinese community as 'Wong's wife (Wong tai[4]-tai[5]),' but her own friends might still call her Mary Lee, informally.

Yep, no ownership implied here.

I think the Phoenix's almost had it best: they let the kids pick their own damn names. I think they chose to keep Phoenix as a surname because they actually liked their family, or wanted to emulate more famous members.

[Sikander]

I don't care whether women change their names when they marry or not, but it really bugs me when they change it during our first date. And then they act like I'm a prik for getting it wrong!

[FrustratedPoet]

Originally posted by Dissident
If I'm going to be paying for the children, they are getting my name plane and simple.

But couldn't your wife say with equal validity: "If I'm going to be carrying them around in my womb for 9 months and have to have them slowly forced through my vagina for maybe 24 hours then they're damn well having my name."

To be honest, I think we've got it easier. I'd rather pay all the bills than have to give birth any day.
But I'd try and marry a gal with some earning power of her own anyway. A family relying on one source of income is a bit risky.

It's not an easy situation, though. Hyphenated names usually sound stupid (although not always) and the kids have to have sombody's last name.

[:) Smiley]

Why not split it, the male children get the man's last name, the female children get the woman's last name.

[Q Classic]

:

some families do that.

[Arrian]

I wouldn't push it, as I consider it her decision. It's just a guess, but if my gf and I get married, I bet she would take my name.

-Arrian

[Alinestra Covelia]

In China, women retain their last names. Sometimes they'll get referred to as "X Tai Tai", where X is their husband's name, but on official forms they do not lose their last names.

I've known some men adopt the last names of their wives if the woman is the youngest in a family of only daughters. In this case, all children take the wife's name instead of the husband's. This is usually agreed upon by both the husband and the wife's family.

My own mother and father are an example of this. My father has a very Chinese sounding last name and my mother... well, let's say she gave me the very Western sounding name I have now.

[Ecthy]

I'd like my wife to take my name, but wouldn't force her. I'd never give away my last name and want my kids to go by it, too. Practically as Diss said.

It's a little bigoted thing to say "how can she be your wife if she doesn't accept our cultural standards?". Standards are changing and emancipation, as silly the abominations that have come out of it are, is nowadays a part of our heritage in the west. Grow up.