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**The Mad Monk** · June 17, 2003, 00:42

Al Franken.

**Pekka** · June 17, 2003, 00:44

ok I have a new one: How many Americans does it take to change one lightbulb? Error. There is no object that could take the pressure from their overly fat bodies.

Why did an American brake his arm? Because they're stupid.

Why do Americans smell funny? Because they're too fat to reach their armpits with deodorants.

What comes out if American and a horse are mixed? Stupid fat horse.

How many Americans can you fit into a phonebooth? Zero.

Texan, New Yorker and a guy from LA are in the car.. who drives? The police.. (if they even fit into the car)

Why so many Americans are fat? Because they're stupid.

What do you call a guy who is not fat and smart? Immigrant.

Why don't Americans like illegal immigrants from Mexico? Because they taste bad and they are smarter too.

Two thumbs up? No?.. Ok, time to go to bed then

.
You asked for it though, that's all I could come up with..

**Dis** · June 17, 2003, 01:01

I think this thread should have a requirement that the jokes actually be funny

**Pekka** · June 17, 2003, 01:05

Dissident, Most foreigners finds insulting jokes funny. I'm sorry if they hurt your feelings

And you can't take those seriously. You can put any other nationality and replace them with let's say Japanese.

**alva** · June 17, 2003, 01:16

Make it belgians, then anyone can laugh

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**Giant_Squid** · June 17, 2003, 01:21

At the risk of one you've ALL already heard:

The UN recently sent out a survey to its member countries, asking "Please give your opinion on the solution to the food shortage in the rest of the world"

Unfortunately, they didn't get many responses, because in Africa they didn't know what "food" meant, in Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant, in China they didn't know what "opinion" meant, in the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant, in South America they didn't know what "please" meant, and in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

**The Mad Monk** · June 17, 2003, 01:24

A Russian, an Frenchman and a German walk into a bar.

The American ducks.

**Skanky Burns** · June 17, 2003, 01:25

*Groan*

**Dis** · June 17, 2003, 01:26

It has nothing to do with being insulting. I don't care if you insult americans.

just be funny about it

**Jaguar** · June 17, 2003, 01:29

Originally posted by Pekka
How many Americans can you fit into a phonebooth? Zero.

Pekka, that is a great idea. Actually posting good American jokes in a thread that asks for good American jokes. Who would have thought?

**Q Classic** · June 17, 2003, 05:18

Why did the American cross the road?

Edited by Ming...

Are you looking for another restriction Sava...

wait, that wasn't sava's joke....?

**Cruddy** · June 17, 2003, 05:53

There's an American working abroad - let's say South Africa. After a particularly hard job, he invites a couple of workmates (a Hindu and a Muslim) back to New York to try the delights of the Big Apple.

10 Minutes after hitting 5th Avenue, they get accosted by a mugger. "Give me all your money or you get this syringe in you - it's my blood and I've got AIDS".

The Hindy screams "Shiva curse you!", drops his wallet and flees.

The Muslim screams "Allah curse you!", and does the same.

The American says, "Sorry buddy. I worked hard for my money and I'm not giving up a cent".

The the junkie stabs him, picks up the 2 wallets and flees.

Back at the hotel the 3 friends meet up. "Why didn't you give him your money? Won't you die of AIDS?" the 2 visitors ask.

The American laughs. "Don't worry, I'm not an ignorant superstititious peasant like you guys. I was wearing a condom."

**Dauphin** · June 17, 2003, 06:36

It is said that the e/immigration due to the Irish potato famine increased the IQ of both nations.

**Stefu** · June 17, 2003, 06:55

Most of these aren't really American jokes, in sense of being about Americans. They are more like jokes that Americans tell about themselves to make themselves feel better, since they put the American in the 'hero' role of being better and smarter than everyone else.

Let's try this one:

American suffers a nasty car accident. His car is pretty much demolished, and as he's being pulled out of the wreck, all he can do is whimper "My Cadillac, my Cadillac, my beautiful Cadillac..."

The rescuer says "Who cares about your Cadillac? Half of your left arm's been torn off!"

"My Rolex, my Rolex, my beutiful Rolex..."

**Pekka** · June 17, 2003, 11:58

Sure well.. if you want jokes about some nationality, then it limits a lot of options what the joke can be like. It has to rely on some stereotype, so that other people can understand it and find it funny. Otherwise it doesn't matter what nationality it is, right?
So, you have to use that stereotype, and most of the times the nationalities in question finds it offensive, and not that funny even when they get it and know why others laugh at it.

So, the trick is to turn it up a notch, and make them ultra offensive, so they can't be taken too seriously. I came up with generic jokes and just put in stereotypes, and then made them sound even more offensive, so it wouldn't be offensive. Besides there are limits, so it doesn't become racist joke, so you have to be careful, and you can save youself by overdoing it. Most people don't find it funny, so that's the downside of it, but hey.. I had fun

.

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Know any good American jokes?

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