Most hated US state?

[Al B. Sure!]

I think everyone who hates Texas is racist against Mexican-Americans...

[SlowwHand]

Isn't NJ just NYC back-wash?


1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.
The flight attendant looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood
and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a
fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

4. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides
up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
standing in the lobby disc ussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened
up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy
flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the
competition was unfair. He asked! the good fathers to close down, but they would not.
He went ba ck and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....what? (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to
friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them
laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

[GePap]

Originally posted by SlowwHand
Isn't NJ just NYC back-wash?

Not at all. Jersey is a whole different place, even different from the other NY suburbs in NY state and Conneticutt.

[Shi Huangdi]

I'll have to go with California.

[Tuberski]

Having lived in Cali, Ill., Uta, Texas. Texas has the nicest people by far.

ACK!

[SlowwHand]

I know it's different.
Meaning to say you put your refuse there.

[GePap]

Originally posted by SlowwHand
I know it's different.
Meaning to say you put your refuse there.

Our garbage is too good for them! (most gets shipped to Some southern states that make money by selling the landfill space.)

I am surprised Florida has no votes against it.

And I am sure if Bush associated himself with the family ancestral home of Conneticutt, it would have more votes. Come on people, hating Bush is not enough reason to hate Texas!

[Wernazuma III]

Where's the Oklahoma option?
Anyhow, I didn't get to read further than Texas...

[Chemical Ollie]

Hey, Sloww, all those stories were probably pretty funny. Too bad I have to get a dictionary to understand them. On the other hand, I assume you wouldn't understand much if I wrote in Swedish either?

[SlowwHand]

You do much better with English than I do, Olaf; forget Swedish.

[Japher]

What about Idaho? I am not too found of that state. I like Texas, even though they are wringing us dry (That Davis' fault), and I hate Virginia, mainly because a lot of politicians seem to hang out around their... I hate Mass too, can't stand Alabama (crazy fans) and I absolutly loath Colorado... Hmmm.... I need to vote Colorado.

[Chemical Ollie]

Originally posted by SlowwHand
You do much better with English than I do, Olaf; forget Swedish.

Thanks, That reply regained some of my respect for you. I formerly had an inner vision of you as some stupid redneck trailer-trash who rather went to personal attack than discussed the topic. I should perhaps reconsider that opinion.

After consulting my dictionary, I still only understand the fun of 1 or 2 of them. Are they supposed to be funny at all or is it just some sick, twisted humour? I have a Cambridge Proficiency Certificate in English but that isn't much of a help for these extremely subtle jokes.

[Tuberski]

For OLAF:


1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.
The flight attendant looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

carrion- carry on

2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood
and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

two weevils- two evils

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a
fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

kayak and heat it too- cake and eat it too.

4. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides
up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

man who shot my paw- normally said in westerns
by a son looking for the man who shot his Pa(Father)

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

transcend dental medication- Trancendental(sp) Meditation.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
standing in the lobby disc ussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer- Chessnuts roasting on an open fire(christmas song)

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! ."

If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal-If you've seen one you've seen them all.

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened
up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy
flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the
competition was unfair. He asked! the good fathers to close down, but they would not.
He went ba ck and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars- You, and only You, can prevent forest fires.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....what? (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis- A word from Mary Poppins.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to
friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them
laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

no pun in ten did- no pun intended.

ACK!

[Imran Siddiqui]

I usually hear people in other State governments say that they don't want to become another Mississippi. So I'll choose my home state.

It's mostly pity, not hate .

I voted for California. Damn hippies!

Though, at least I've been there. Some people are voting for states when they have no idea how they actually are.

[Tuberski]

Exactly, which is why I voted for California, although there is a difference between NoCal and SoCal.

ACK!