Newsflash: Civil War In Sovietskii Soyuz

[Archaic]

The Commonwealth of Alecrast would like a token of thanks from the "Holy Empire" of Sheepsta to our elite Yokuza units for averting nuclear disaster in your capital. They were barely able to disarm the missiles we'd stolen but hadn't yet had time to transfer from Sheepsta to Alecrast before you pressed that big red button. If they hadn't managed it, your nation would now be a hole in the ground.

[GeneralTacticus]

I believe now is the time to release the hostages; in any event, Sheepsta's nuclear bluff has been called, and they can no longer threaten anyone.

[Archaic]

Yes, too true. Jackson, as a Neutral nation in this, will you permit us to release them inside your borders?

Also, I fail to see how assassination and kidnapping are so different from normal counter intelligence efforts that they are suddenly terrorism.

[Sheep]

Nuclear WAR occurs, almost

'If only they had apologised for their terrorist actions and offered token reperations, we would of been able to avert this' exclaimed the Lord Protector Liam Sheep.

'Launch Order Alpha, Betta, Gamma, Zulu, 5, Target Flaim, Alecrast' read the Lord Protector in a deathly monotone.

'Do not Confirm Launch Order Alpha Betta, gamma, Zulu, 5, Target Flaim, Alecrast' the National Security Advisor followed.

The Lord Protector was enraged, at his National Security Advisor. However the National Security Advisor argued that if they launched the alliance of Centralis and the terrorists would lead to the Holy empire's destruction.

At 4:44Pm Sheepsta time, on the 16th Januray 2003, The Alecrast capital of Flaim was bombed by Sheepsta Air Force. At that percise moment a weapon unknown to regional powers, the Goldeneye detonated, frying all electrical equipment in the Alecrast Realm, effectively paralysing all military messaging traffic.

Within the next five minutes of the system loss, all major cites were bombed by the Sheepsta Air Force, the Sheepsta Navy has enacted a complete blockade of the Alecrast shorline, and the Sheepsta Army is poised ready to attack.

The Sheepsta blockade and bombing campaign shall continue until the apology is given.

[GeneralTacticus]

Yes, Sheep. Now that you've had your fantasy, you can return to the real world. your nukes did not launch; they wer enot in their silos when you pushed the button. Whatever you may pretend to the outside world or to yourself, our intelligence confirms what we already know: your threats were empty.

[Archaic]

*Looks at his nation on the monitors in his war room*

Hmmmm......does anyone know what this lunatic is talking about? Anyone at all?

[Sheep]

I don;t hear anything comming from ruined Alecrast and one again I assure you Sheepsta radar did track them until they hit our former neighbour. This is a great day for the Apolyton Region as we a re rid of a nest of terrorism.

[GeneralTacticus]

Yes - his own bizarre fantasy world. I think he's been smoking something to take his mind off his utter humilation.

[GeneralTacticus]

I don;t hear anything comming from ruined Alecrast and one again I assure you Sheepsta radar did track them until they hit our former neighbour. This is a great day for the Apolyton Region as we a re rid of a nest of terrorism.

I think we'll have to wait until the effects of whatever it was you've been smoking wear off before we can talk to you. Then maybe we can discuss your payment of reparations to the victims of your threats.

[Sheep]

To Centralis: I would take that back. Alecrast is completly destoyed, and any threat to the Holy Empire of Sheepsta will be met with the same force.

[GeneralTacticus]

I have live feed from our satelites in orbit which did register any launch launch from Sheepsta and record Alecrast as still being as intact as ever.

To reiterate: YOU HAVE NOT NUKES. YOUR THREATS ARE EMPTY. YOU CANNOT DICTATE TO US OR ANYONE ELSE.

[Archaic]

Centralis, how soon do you think we can get a council of Apolyton Nations together to discuss what should be done with these surplus Nukes? Alecrast doesn't currently have enough silos to keep all of them, and considering the inferior Sheepsta tech, we wouldn't want to keep any anyway.

[GeneralTacticus]

Centralis, how soon do you think we can get a council of Apolyton Nations together to discuss what should be done with these surplus Nukes? Alecrast doesn't currently have enough silos to keep all of them, and considering the inferior Sheepsta tech, we wouldn't want to keep any anyway.

As a matter of fact, we would be interested in purchasing some of them. While they may not be the best available, they would still be sueful, and would be a handy source of parts for our own nuclear program.

[Mr. President]

Since Archaic is alive and online, I'm guessing he didn't get nuked that badly . . .

[Ahem, back in character.]

[Sheep]

To Centralis: Evidently your intellegience isn;t as good as you would think it is. I pity you Imperialist nation for we do have nukes, although not as much as before because some landed on the former nation of Alecrast. It would be wise to learn what you are talking about before you talk.