The Epic Tale of Navalon

[Metaliturtle]

I know Wolverines like I know Roman Orgies

[Kramerman]

Perhaps you could fill me in on Roman Orgies as well. Im sure that that information would be most useful.

Kman

[Metaliturtle]

Well, It's more fun to have than hold... WAIT, I've said too much, don't tell anyone or I'll have to kill y'all

[civman2000]

write more!

[TheGuitarist]

This story rocks.

I'm really impressed by your knowledge of Greek and Roman culture. The details really add a lot to the story.

Keep it up, can't wait for the next part!

[Kramerman]

The First Alliance

The King led the young lady down the gangplank and Annhyicus held her other hand to help her off on to the dock. Annhyicus then removed his helmet, tucked it under his arm, bowed and kissed the young lady’s hand, then introduced himself.

“Are you this polite to all your guests, young man,” the stout, rotund king asked Annhyicus in broken Greek (which they found was a mutual language) and with a clever smirk on his face.

“Actually, I’ve never had guests before. You are my first,” he replied with a smirk of his own, “You mentioned you needed help. What may I and my humble nation do for you?”

“As I said before, the unified Greek state has suddenly and without warning invaded my island nation, already seizing many of our possessions in the Ionian Sea. I do believe we are capable of fending off our attackers from the “mainland” island of Crete, though it is quite uncertain without help. My first reason for coming to Navalon was that you were the closest nation that may be able to lend aid to contain the Greek aggression. Secondly, I needed to find a safe haven for my only child and beloved daughter, Allya, while I fight off the invaders. The last thing I would ever want is her to fall into the hands of that wretched Greek king if I fail. So, I ask you, could you help me fight the Greeks and would you grant asylum to my daughter,” asked the king, now speaking with desperate tones.

“This could not have come at a worst time,” replied Annhyicus with a sigh, “I am about to deal with external threats to the north, and I definitely do not have the resources to fight a war with the Greeks … yet. I have an idea though. My Navy was to protect my shores from Greek invasion while my plans are under execution, but since the Greeks are preoccupied with you for the moment, I could lend a good deal of my Naval resources to your aid. I could send a fleet of our ships, under your flag, of course, as not to draw the Greek might onto our own shores, to aid you in the war. Also, our shipyards are fully operational and we have recently developed a very efficient system of ship construction. With some funds and resources they could begin to pump out our superior biremes and our new, very powerful triremes. And with that one Greek weapon we captured, it wont be long before we learn to duplicate it. As for your daughter,” Annhyicus shot a glance and a smile in her direction, “it would be my absolute pleasure to personally oversee her protection; consider her in the safest haven possible, here in Navapolis”

“Oh my, thank you young Imperator Annhyicus. Whatever ships you can spare would be a blessing. I shall send money and material immediately for as many of those big ships of yours that you can build as possible. It is the first time I have seen myself with a shortage of warships and an excess of merchant vessels. Fortunately, I have plenty of eager young sailors, back home, I merely need ships for them to sail. Money is not an option. I think this is the beginning of a truly strong alliance,” said King Minos very happily.

“Indeed,” replied Annhyicus with a charismatic smile, “I will have a dozen warships ready by tomorrow morning, fully outfitted with Minoan flags and sails, and ready to go. I will send Admiral Biarus himself, this gentleman standing beside me and the finest naval commander in the Mediterranean might I add, to command the fleet. As for our shipyards, I will send word to expand them and begin night-and-day work on our newest and finest class of ships, like this one you see behind me. In the mean time, follow me to my Keep where I can provide you with rooms, they’re not much, surely not what your used to, but it is all I have at the moment.”

“That is most kind of you. I wish I could stay in your humble hospitality longer, but I must leave first thing in the morning,” replied the king, “You have shown much trust and benevolence to a wounded stranger, my friend, and as a token of my appreciation for all your help, I give you my newest acquisition to my territory, the island of Malta. It is a large island not to far south of here with wonderful vineyards and sweet orchards.”

“Thank you sir! But all do respect, the Greeks have not been subdued yet, are you sure you want to give such a possession away?” inquired Annhyicus.

“Absolutely!” the old king let out a royal laugh and a hard pat on the back of Annhyicus’ armor, “What are friends for after all?” he rhetorically asked with a smile on his face.

“Well, come now, I will show you to my meager keep and to your quarters. Dinner should be waiting, I’m sure you all must be hungry. Over our meal, and if you wish to hear it, I would love to explain the origins of my small, but quickly growing nation,” said Annhyicus, as he led them off the dock and toward the keep followed by the king’s small armed entourage.

King Minos seemed happy with these plans and relayed them to his daughter in their native tongue. Allya smiled and could not keep her eyes off the charming, modest young man who was going to help save her homeland until he finally bid her and her father goodnight at their rooms. Early the next morning Annhyicus saw off his new friend and the fleet he had lent to him, wishing them well. Poor Annhyicus would suffer harsh anxiety attacks for many months thereafter, often going many consecutive nights without sleep, fearing the outcome of the near future for his young empire…

[Kramerman]

Originally posted by TheGuitarist
This story rocks.

I'm really impressed by your knowledge of Greek and Roman culture. The details really add a lot to the story.

Keep it up, can't wait for the next part!

Ah yes, Greek and Roman history and culture are a major interest of mine, and I have tried to stay real to actual history at this point of the story, because history hasn't changed much at this point in the story. Perhaps you noticed my references to Sparta going on a rampage through Greece? This really did happen, though in reality Sparta failed after their 20 year siege of Athens and her sister city (I dont reacall the name) and in my story, some fluctuation in history has allowed them to succede. I have however made the time period of the story so far to be intentionaly vague, mostly so I could make lots of little referenceses to things that happened in different time periods. For example, I made a reference recently to Archemedes who was, in actuality, killed during the rapid expansion of Rome somewhere like 200ish BC (not sure exactly). I then made some pretty obvious references to Rome as still a fledgling but quickly growing group of latins who had only a century before overthrown their Etruscan (I refer to them as Etrurians in the story) conquerors, which would of been a good description of them c 500ish BC. Also, the minoan empire in reality, i believe, was destroyed fairly early on by siesmic activity, like 1200 BC or something like that. So unfortunately, to make the story work I had to take history slightly out of continuity, but I just rationalize it as history was changed somehow through that God's medaling in the affairs of early humanity and civilization.

I've also gone into quite some historically accurate detail, and will continue to do so, on many things such as the ships I described. When I get into the construction of fortifications and siege engines used later on, like massive trebuchets and ballitae, I look forward to describing them and how they are built quite accurately in the story to how ancients (and medievals) actually built and used them. The Navalonians, as you will see, prove to be quite industrious and their society (not to unlike modern America's) will prove to allow them to progress quite rapidly, technologically speaking. I have purposely though left Annhyicus' armor quite vaguely described so as to let the reader conjure one's own image of what he/she thinks it should look like. If you would care for more detail on that part let me know, and I'd be happy to describe the armor/sheild/sword/ and helmet fully on how I see it. I'm not sure how this may have an effect on the story.

Thank you for the comments, and please continue. I plan to have the next installment completed in the next few days.

Kman

[The Bloody Baro]

DUDE! This story should be a movie! It'd probably be better than Lord of the Rings and Gladiator!

[johncmcleod]

Kman-Seriously, when you are done with this story you should write a script for it or however the do it with movies and go to a movie company like mgm and send it to them and see what they think. This is phenomenal! Get a couple good actors to play the parts and this would be at least golden globe caliber. Please write more! Oh, and though Grundel is probably the best civ3 aithor (he has written countless classics on this forum), this is the best story on this forum yet. The story contest was almost as bad as Denzel getting best actor for training day (he was very good in that movie, as eyes of the innocent was a great story, but Russell Crowe was much better). I would've voted for you but since TOWD (my story) barely got edged out of the preliminaries back in like round 9 I've been a sore loser and have read many stories but haven't even looked at the contest.

[TheGuitarist]

Kman -

I can definitely tell you're interested in Roman and Greek history. I am too (mostly Roman since I'm taking Latin at school), and I tried to incorporate a bit of what I know into my story "Es Frater Meus, et Es Inimicus Meus." It's certainly very interesting, and it adds a thick layer of realism if the information is accurate.

I agree that your story would make an excellent movie, especially if you got somebody in the movie business to help with the script. It would be really cool to experience it on the big screen - I know I would go see it.

Keep the story going!

[jongon]

great story keep, best ever

[Kramerman]

Thanks guys, I'm definately continuing - I have the feedback I need to be confident in that desicion, thats for sure .

To tell you guys the truth, I actually originally visualized the story as like a long 6 part movie epic, and I try and visualize the story as I read it in my mind with movie like visual effects in my mind - with like gladiator/brave heart style battle scenes recently in the story and to come soon, and much later the StarWars-like space battles and stuff that will come. In my mind, and I'm going to try my hardest to convey these images as best I can when I get to these parts (right now Navalon is just a fledgling empire like 100s the earth has seen), I see Navalonian armies and fleets gathering and massing to phenomenal military march music blasting in the background, like Imperial March in Star Wars or something like that. And of course like lovey-dovey music in love scenes to come and scary music in suspenes parts. In other words, I have kinda planned the story in my head as a movie and have thought of it as a movie from the beginning and I'm trying hard to correlate the movie that is in my mind into the text on my word prcessor, that is why I have asked and hopped many times if you all have been able to visualize like I have. My only fear is that my ammetuer writting skills are ruining the story, that is why I would very much love to have a professional screen writter maybe someday take a crack at my story.
From the beginning I actually have had a reoccuring and somewhat childish day dream of this story actually becoming a movie when I'm old and retired and will have time to work toward this, which would satisfy one of my 3 big dreams that I will labor hard at accomplishing in my life. I'm just immensly satisfied that the skeleton of the stroy that I'm writting here (and Ive been wanting for a long time to write this story out, just now geeting time this summer to do so) is getting the kind of feedback it is.

I greatly appreciate it and I will have the next installment up soon,

Kman

[civman2000]

From the beginning I actually have had a reoccuring and somewhat childish day dream of this story actually becoming a movie when I'm old and retired and will have time to work toward this

Hey me too, for various things. My old story "The Rpeublic of Athens" is a good example,though I imagined it as more of becoming a play then a movie.

[Kramerman]

Ok, I've been working furiously all night, but have been unable to concentrate, which is a major flaw of mine. So instead of having a completed installment ready to go, I have instaed started multiple installments and have a little bit of each one done. I am going to continue to write late into the night, mostly because Im in the middle of some good stuff, and should have something ready by late tomarrow night or early,early morning (1 AM eastern time or so).

Hey me too, for various things. My old story "The Rpeublic of Athens" is a good example,though I imagined it as more of becoming a play then a movie.

Thats interseting. I thought about this story being a play once real briefly, but quickly decided motion picture format would be much more capable of delivering the visual and audio effects that I imagine...besides, the live action version of the entire epic I'd estimate to last between 10 and 12 hours in length - thus a 6 part movie series may be capable of portraying my story. I think a 10-12 hour play would be kinda tedious .

Kman

[civman2000]

Yeah, my story all took place in one room...like most plays.