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The Epic Tale of Navalon

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  • #16
    Sorry, but unfortunately for the next few days I will have no convienent time to continue the story. Please, again, tell me what you think so far, i know it is kinda long, but im pretty sure its worth reading .

    Kman

    P.S. I made a few corrections. I should really profreed before I post .
    Last edited by Kramerman; June 25, 2002, 03:39.
    "I bet Ikarus eats his own spunk..."
    - BLACKENED from America's Army: Operations
    Kramerman - Creator and Author of The Epic Tale of Navalon in the Civ III Stories Forum

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    • #17
      THis is amazing!! Definiteky worthy of winning the story cintest, maybe as good as Odyssey of a Hero !

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      • #18
        very good, first story ive read on here and i cant wait for more of it - personally i wouldve written slightly differently but thats nothing to do with the actual story which is great atm
        hurry up and post

        ..off to read others

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        • #19
          This is going to be truly EPIC!
          DANGER! - Unexploded Civilian

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          • #20
            The Burning Cradle Part III

            The rain did not deter the rebellious mob, nor did the darkness, but confusion began to spread. The leadership had expected to have many insurrectionists in the walls before the gate of the keep closed, enough to open the gates again to let in more, at least. But that did not go to plan, the revolution moved to slowly. Now what would they do? The walls were made of solid stone, nearly three-dozen feet high, and with towers in each of the four corners of the keep’s walls. They needed Arius, the central figure of the leadership, he would know what to do, but where was he? At least the wall guards were not firing at the mob outside their walls with arrows or javelins, but why weren’t they? After several minutes of the mob standing around the keep, there began a roar of confusion. Nobody knew who was in charge, nobody could act without direction. Tabonus, one of Arius’ good friends and one of the founding members of the insurrectionists movement, tried to calm the crowd around him, he tried to organize but they were just too loud and confused. Few noticed him let alone pay attention. Many began to disperse, fearing the failure of the revolution was at hand and Tyranicus’ retribution to be near. Just as it seemed all was lost, a flaming arrow shot over the crowd on the southern wall, deflected off the wall at an angle and ignited a hay stack against the wall and underneath a canvas tarp. This caught nearly all’s attention and they looked to see from where the arrow came. Up on the crest of a rise of the main street, one of the few paved roads and leading from the southern tip of town to the Keep, was a mighty horse mounted by a figure larger than life. With a strike of lightning and a booming thunderclap, the stallion reared up on its hind legs and bellowed a mighty neigh; the mysterious rider raised his large sword into the air, his beautifully polished iron and gold ornated armor glistened in the light of the lightning bolt while his crimson cape flapped in the gusty wind. The mob and wall guards alike were immediately hushed by this awe-inspiring sight. Tabonus recognized the horse as Arius’ and was overjoyed with relief. He briskly walked over to the approaching horse as the mob cleared a path.
            “Arius, where have you been, I was almost slain with worry?” questioned the old man Tabonus.
            The rider then removed his helmet of polished iron and gold topped by a crimson horsehair crest, revealing Annhyicus, young son of Arius. Tabonus reeled back in surprise and the crowd roared to see so young a man.
            “Where is your father!?” exclaimed Tabonus with worry returning.
            Annhyicus, elevating his voice as loud as he could, replied, “My father is dead, murdered at the hands of Tyranicus!” The crowd hushed once more and began to move in as close as possible to hear this remarkable figure, who was unknown to many.
            “How do you know he is dead, and how do you know it was by the hand of Tyranicus?” pleaded Tabonus, hopping that there was some mistake.
            “Because I discovered his bloody body in my parlor, Tyranicus’ sword still piercing his breast,” retorted Annhyicus sharply, with a sobbing shrill. “ I know it was his sword… I know it … I forged that damn sword with my own bare hands…” Annhyicus broke down into tears, a truly heart sinking sight seeing such a man in so much pain and anguish. After several moments he gathered himself. He asked Tabonus, “Have you seen my mother, she was not in my home?”
            “Young Annhyicus, I am sorry to say your mother has been captured by that evil Tyranicus. She is inside the walls as we speak.”
            “Then we will bust those walls down!!” Yelled Annhyicus in a powerful voice, imbued with anger and rage. The exclamation was followed by a cheer of the mob of thousands (though only a fraction probably heard it), who could not help but be sympathetic to this strong character. Annhyicus, calming himself down now guided his horse, Arch, to the portcullis of the south wall, the crowd once more parting before him. He cupped his hands over his mouth and raised his voice over the pitter-patter of rainfall. He warned the guards that if they did not surrender immediately, then they would be overwhelmed, reminding them they were outnumbered 40 to 1. Just as he was going to go on with his warning the bell tower began to chime like Hell … barbarians.
            “Men on the south wall stay put! All else to the city wall!” Annhyicus commanded with haste, his orders relayed by those of respect and leadership…
            Last edited by Kramerman; June 27, 2002, 06:54.
            "I bet Ikarus eats his own spunk..."
            - BLACKENED from America's Army: Operations
            Kramerman - Creator and Author of The Epic Tale of Navalon in the Civ III Stories Forum

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            • #21
              Damn...
              sorry. I had hoped to have finished off the revolution tonight, but I don't have enough time. I'll hopefully finish in the next part. Then I will move quickly from that point in the story on. Thankyou for the comments so far, I have noted suggestions. please keep me posted on how you feel its coming

              Kman
              "I bet Ikarus eats his own spunk..."
              - BLACKENED from America's Army: Operations
              Kramerman - Creator and Author of The Epic Tale of Navalon in the Civ III Stories Forum

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              • #22
                good! CAn't wait for more!

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                • #23
                  The Burning Cradle Part IV

                  By the time Annhyicus got to the wall, the raiders were still at a distance. The rain was beginning to let up, only sprinkles now. A farmer must of ridden into town ahead of them, to warn the bell tower, he thought. Immediately, Annhyicus’ natural skills and abilities began to kick in. He observed the attackers to be in numbers of about 500, all mounted, and at a distance of several hundred yards and closing fast. Since he had never heard of an entirely mounted attack, he assumed there would be many more raiders, as many as a thousand, on foot straggling behind. 1500 attackers was a lot, the largest raid he remembered before was 800. Many had light, wooden ladders at their sides, long enough to scale the 15-foot wall. The citizenry had gathered atop the walls and did not know what to do, few having ranged weapons. Those who could not fit on the wall, Annhyicus ordered to return to the keep. He ordered to use what torches were still lit through the rain to try and light the wet braziers that lined the walls and the torches of others. Then when a ladder is placed next to them, do not do what comes instinctively and just push it back, for then they will just keep using it again and again under the cover fire of their mounted archers until the walls are overrun. Instead he said, if possible, light the top of the ladders aflame, as to make it an obstacle for the raiders to clear before entering the walls. Then thrust you weapon into them. Try to maintain the fire on your ladder until it fully engulfs the ladder. Many people began to distribute different oils, such as palm oil, that would help catch the wet ladders on fire. The raiders arrived at the walls and began their invasion. Sure enough, in the distance Annhyicus could see what must have been 1000 raiders approaching at a full sprint. Many on the walls began to panic, But Annhyicus road back and forth encouraging them. The eastern section was weakening and in danger of being over run. Annhyicus commanded 100 from the west go and reinforce that section in all haste. Annhyicus, then feeling that he had done all he could at this point from horseback, dismounted, put on his helmet, grabbed his shield, his father’s bow and quarrel of arrows, and drew his mighty sword. He noticed that the north was now doing fine with their new reinforcements, but now it was the center section that was in trouble. Though Annhyicus saw many ladders now burning to cinders, a few, notably in the center section, were untouched. Pull those ladders in he yelled, as he grabbed one. Several men grabbed on from both sides as another held back the barbarians on the ladder and another slang stones at those trying to enter. After a lengthy struggle they succeeded in pulling in the ladder. He then moved on to help the next. After that was also successfully pulled in, all other had either burned or been pulled in. The foot raiders arrived to about 150 of their mounted kin slain. Leaving scouts behind the rest retired to the north, probably to the trees to make more ladders and perhaps even a battering ram.

                  Annhyicus commanded that everybody stay put, but those of leadership meet him by the main gate. There gathered about 50 men, some elderly citizens to militia officers. The militia captain informed Annhyicus that he had about 400 hundred militia under his control, most were at the wall with him, but some were back at the keep, keeping an eye on the guards. Annhyicus told him to gather them quickly and then gather all the javelins he could. After dismissing him he quickly went through the crowd, telling who he wanted to do what. He told everyone of the citizen officers to tie red cloth around their upper arms to distinguish themselves to their fellow revolutionists. He told some to go to the walls to spread his orders, he told others to go to the keep to do the same. Some were ordered to gather all those proficient with bows and others to gather those with horses. He then said that they would meet again in one hour by the gates. He then left to the keep himself to see what had gone on in his absence.

                  Tyranicus emerged from the building to see the rain had all but stopped.
                  “Captain, what is our status?” he asked.
                  “Sir we have no casualties. And most of the mob has either dispersed or headed to the city wall,” the captain replied.
                  “What? Why are they at the wall?” Tyranicus quickly asked.
                  “The guards of the northern towers say that there has been a barbarian raid—“
                  Tyranicus cut him off, “Excellent! What other good news have you? How many of the rebellious pigs have you slaughtered?”
                  “Um, we’ve killed none sir, they have just been standing there outside—“
                  Tyranicus cut him off again, “WHAT! Don’t you have bows and javelins you idiot, cant you shoot at them?”
                  “That’s insane!” thundered back the captain, “I refuse to kill my fellow citizens, the ones I’ve served and protected for more than half my life, just because they don’t like y o u.”
                  Tyranicus gasped at this insult. “Lieutenant, place the captain under arrest, you are now in charge.”
                  “Stand down lieutenant!” the captain ordered.
                  “I will not tolerate this insubordination!” Tyranicus yelled, his voice cracking. “I will make sure the king hears of this! Send for your heads he will!”
                  “I thought you were the king” the captain replied sharply. “Enough of this, I am going to open the portcullis and except what punishment I receive. I’ve blindly enforced your wicked will long enough! Without me, you are just a pathetic, insane, aging man, without an accomplishment to your name.” The captain turned and walked towards the portcullis on the southern wall.
                  Tyranicus, red with fury at the captain’s remarks, reached for his sword. “Damn!” He thought, “Where did I leave that…” He quickly reached for the lieutenant’s sword at his side, and lunged at the captain. Before the captain, a proud aging warrior, could respond, Tyranicus had thrust his sword in through his back. The captain fell to his knees, cursing Tyranicus.
                  His last words were more a whisper to himself than anyone else, “A thousand battles I have fought with honor and bravery, only to be cut down in the back by a pathetic old man…”

                  “I’ve seen all that I’ve needed,” remarked the king, leaving the sword in the captain’s body, as he has a habit to do. “Lieutenant lower me over the east wall, there is no one there and I will slip away to Greece. There I will tell the king of this Rebellion and he will send me back with an army. Wait, let me get the woman first.” Tyranicus ran into the building and unchained the woman and returned to the east wall. “Lower us down, now.” The soldiers on the wall tied the king and the lady into ropes and then slowly lowered them down the side. Just as they reached the bottom, a few returning officers after the meeting with Annhyicus spotted the pair. Tyranicus grabbed the woman and pulled her along with him into the streets of the east side, where he would lose his pursuers and then make his way south to the docks…

                  As Annhyicus returned to the keep atop his horse, he saw Tabonus rush forth to meet him.
                  “Annhyicus, young Annhyicus, a man was spotted leaving the keep with a woman, I believe it to be Tyranicus and your mother. I’ve sent several dozen into that residential district in search—“
                  “Thank you,” the man quickly replied as he road away at full gallop. Annhyicus knew exactly what Tyranicus was going to do. He road with all haste to the docks, where many commercial and private vessels were portered, including Tyranicus’ private yacht. He saw on his arrival, with dawn quickly approaching, a couple of figures struggling in the distance. He drove his tired horse, who had been running all night, toward the pair.
                  “Clop-clop Clop-clop,” the galloping horse’s hooves hit hard against the paved road running along the docks.
                  “Halt! Tyranicus stand where you are!” Annhyicus yelled as Tyranicus was about to board his boat.
                  Adalae had immediately recognized the voice of her son, and hope returned to her, dispair left her, and she screamed and yelled to her son for who she loved so much.

                  Annhyicus jumped off his horse and stood there on the street, just a dozen feet from his mother down the wooden dock.
                  “Not a twitch, man, or this woman gets it right in the throat,” the wicked man said, as he positioned a dagger on his mother’s neck. “See, I want to get on this boat, with this woman, and sail away undisturbed. Otherwise…” he glanced at the dagger.
                  “That’s crazy, Tyranicus, no man can crew this boat by himself—“
                  “Oh really, wouldn’t you say, my masked assailant, that my odds are a little better out there than in here,” he replied, motioning to the sea. “Who are y o u ? The guards told me of a man in extraordinary armor that gave the mob hope just as they were going to flee. Who led them successfully as of yet against the Barbarian hoard outside our gates. Who is this leader, this ‘hero’ of the people of Navapolis?”
                  As the man removed his helmet he said in a steady, proud voice, “I am Annhyicus, son of Arius, master craftsman of Navapolis.”
                  “Ahhhh, I see, did you think you would come and rescue your mother, did you think you would kill me and ‘save’ the day. You may very well be capable of accomplishing one of these, young man but not the other – I shall not be a total failure on this day…” Then, with a most wicked laugh, he thrust the dagger into Adalae’s neck.
                  “NOOO!” screamed Annhyicus in agonizing pain, as he lunged toward the wicked king and struck his torso clean in two with the most powerful of blows, fueled by fury and hatred. He dropped his sword and fell to the ground to hold his mother. She clutched her neck, and felt the blood rush between her fingers.

                  She looked into her son’s eyes with a smile on her lips and whispered with her last breaths,” Annhyicus, my boy, you have grown so big and strong from the baby I once clutched to my chest. Do you remember that Annhyicus, when I used to sing lullabies to you so you would sleep with beautiful dreams? You are special my son, I have always known that. Your life is just beginning and you have so far to rise. I love you with all my heart, and your father loved you with all of his. We will always … always love … you … the jewel of my life … I will miss you…” She faded into death and silence.
                  “No mother, wake up mother, please wake up ... please … don’t leave me…” Annhyicus kneeled there next to his mother, crying with agony.

                  He loved her so much. He had gone through so much pain that day. He did not know if he could go on. Apart of him wanted to fall off that dock and sink with his armor. He lay there next to his mother; he lay there with his head on her breast. He did not want to move. He only wanted to cry, he only wanted his family back, he wanted his old life back, he wanted it to be like it was before, before Tyranicus became “king”…
                  Last edited by Kramerman; June 28, 2002, 05:07.
                  "I bet Ikarus eats his own spunk..."
                  - BLACKENED from America's Army: Operations
                  Kramerman - Creator and Author of The Epic Tale of Navalon in the Civ III Stories Forum

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    The Revolution Has Ended, But the Battle Has Just Begun

                    The former lieutenant of the guards followed the captain of the militia closely. They were searching down by the docks where they heard Annhyicus was last seen. The hour had long ended and all the officers had gathered back by the gates. They needed Annhyicus’ leadership, he had brought them this far, and they believed he could finish it. The rain, in the early morning, began to pick back up to a hard and heavy rain. It was hard to see but the captain was sure he saw something slouched over on one of the docks. The captain saw one body in two pieces and blood running off the docks like rainwater. He feared the worst as he and the lieutenant ran quickly to the spot.
                    “Annhyicus, are you alright?” asked the captain.
                    Annhyicus turned and nodded, his eyes all red and puffy, “I am uninjured, if that is what you mean.”
                    “I see you have taken care of the governor, the townsmen shall be pleased. Let us go Annhyicus, the leaders have all gathered as you have commanded and they fear another attack is close at hand,” the captain said.
                    “Who is this man?” asked Annhyicus
                    “This is the lieutenant—um, I mean captain of the guard. The original captain of the guard was apparently stabbed in the back by Tyranicus and the former lieutenant is now in charge of the guard, who, may I add with pleasure, surrendered shortly after Tyranicus fled and have agreed to help us fight the barbarians. Add 200 hundred professional soldiers to our defense, sir,” replied the captain. “In all that means we have 400 hundred spearmen, who are well trained and disciplined in phalanx tactics, 150 swordsmen who can fight well in both formation and individually. We have gathered about 50 men proficient in bows, as you asked, as well as the 50 guardsmen who are bowman also. There are also approximately 50 wealthy men who can ride well and have there own horses, as well as about 50 more horses were captured from the raiders last night and men are being trained how to ride them as we speak. I believe those were your orders and that they have been carried out satisfactory.”

                    “You have done an excellent job captain, now return to the gates, I’ll shall be there momentarily, I have some things I must do quickly before hand. Captain I want you to take charge of the spearmen, Lieutenant you will take the swordsmen, select one with leadership qualities and proficiency with the bow to be my lieutenant of the bowman and one for the horsemen as well,” order Annhyicus, “Go now, I’ll be there shortly.”
                    “Yes sir,” replied the captain and the lieutenant in synchronous.

                    After they had turned the corner back up the main road that led to the keep and then beyond to the main gate, Annhyicus put on his helmet, cleaned his still bloody sword in the rain and with his wet cape (which his mother sew for him), sheathed it, and gathered his mother’s body in his arms. He mounted old, trusty Archus and headed to his home. There he laid his mother down next to his father. He knelt and prayed. He promised to return soon and give a proper ceremony. He promised that he would lead a good life, and do great things to make them proud. He then ran outside, mounted his horse and rode to the gate.

                    On his way to the gate, people waved and smiled at him. Word had spread quickly that he had slain Tyranicus and they were now free from his cruel rule. When he reached the front gate he was greeted by his captain and 3 lieutenants.

                    “I will make up a formal military ranking system later, but for now we need more organization,” said he, still mounted, to those officers around him. “Lieutenants, you are now captains, and captain, you are now general. Each of you captains will split your respective branches, cavalry, archery, and Lieutenant—sorry, captain, I am now giving command of the spearmen and swordsmen to you, into two groups and name a lieutenant to run them for now. Be prepared to send these cohorts to act independently. General, you will assist me. Now captain of cavalry, take four of your best men this instant and send them to locate the horde, maybe we got lucky and they went home. Once we know their exact location then the swordsmen will set out and attempt to reach one of the sides of their encampment undetected. There they will wait until they hear or see the commotion of the spearmen approaching the encampment. The archers will remain behind the phalanx formation of the spearmen and rain hell upon the barbarians who sought to rape our city. The cavalry will be sent around before hand to flank the Barbarians from the rear, for by this point they should be moving towards the main spearmen formation. At this point the swordsmen will attack from the side. This is what I am thinking we can do with what we have, but I must make sure the surrounding terrain of the encampment would be appropriate. The point of this is to take the fight to them, and away from our city. With some luck and skill we should be able to sneak up on them as they prepare their ladders and rams and what not and be able to defeat their numerically superior force. Remember, most of our soldiers do have at least leather armor if not bronze, where they have none and use clubs and stone axes – maybe copper if they are lucky. So, prepare to move out when the scouts return.”

                    The scouts returned and reported that the barbarians were encamped on the edge of the lowland forest just to the north. There the woodlands are surrounded on the east and south sides by hills and the forest runs almost to the sea on the west side and continues north for quite some distance. The cavalry were instructed to head well north and east of the encampment before moving into the woods and turning south. They were told to be able to charge the encampment from the woods by mid-day. They were told to get close to the encampment so they could hear the horn from the spearmen, signaling for them to charge. Then shortly after the headed out the gates, the swordsmen were instructed to stay just east of the hills of the encampment, out of sight, and to wait there until they heard the horn of the charging spearmen and the archers would remain atop the hill to the south of the encampment, picking off targets of opportunity. Annhyicus decided he would go with the spearmen, last, and send the general with the swordsmen.

                    The spearmen gathered at the foot of the final hill. Annhyicus told the newly appointed lieutenants to keep their cohorts in formation as they ran down the hill and through the barbarian encampment, hopefully impaling all in their path. He told them to gather at the top of the hill where they would gather themselves until Annhyicus signaled the horn blower. At that point they would charge, in formation, with archers staying at top. They spearmen formation, 400 man strong, 4 ranks deep, made its way up that final hill. Annhyicus then galloped around to the western flank of the formation. They reached the crest, aligned the ranks, and Annhyicus signaled the horn man. With a mighty blow the horn bellowed, echoing off the wet grass of the hills. The spearmen charged, everyman yelling a battle yell, combining to form a ferocious roar. This was the first time the inexperienced militia had ever been in hand to hand combat, all times before they would merely guard the wall when the bell tower sounded. The rain had stopped some time before, but it was till overcast and drops of water ran down Annhyicus’ helmet. He waited several seconds before galloping down the hill at full speed, Arch’s hooves kicking up clumps of green grass and mud behind him. He quickly sped past the troops, now half way to the forest edge, inspiring the men. In the tree line one could see a few temporary huts and smoldering campfires. Several bearded barbarians were sharpening their axes or splitting wood. When they heard the roar they looked up and immediately ran. Most at the tree line were immediately picked off by the skilled bowman atop the hill. As the spearmen reached the tree line they could see a horde of men scrambling. Most were retreating in the opposite direction but many ran east, out of the dark woods, only to meet 150 charging, bronze armor clad soldiers.

                    The spearmen quickly moved through, stopping only to clear the bodies off the end of their spears. Annhyicus swept along the western woods, swinging his bastard sword out at those retreating that way, severing multiple heads with the great force of his blows and velocity of his horse. At the mere sight of the armor clad man upon the lightning quick horse the barbarians would scream in terror. Annhyicus struck them down with almost malicious hatred, without mercy. After defacing several by sword blows to the head, he could hear the approaching cavalry from the north. Satisfied, he turned Arch around to head back and join with the spearmen, only to find a giant man, on a horse not 20 feet beyond him, just standing there.

                    As intimidating as Annhyicus thought himself to be, with his armor and crimson crested helmet, it was nothing compared to this man. He was obviously the warlord, having what appeared to be an iron sword. He must have been six and a half feet tall, almost a half-foot taller than Annhyicus’ already tall height, and had a helmet with horns and a faceplate made of a human skull. Clad in furs and black cloth, he let out a horrible roar and charged Annhyicus. His first blow was parried by his shield, but Annhyicus quickly turned his nimble horse around and pulled him to lunge at the barbarian warlord, still turning his horse. Annhyicus leapt off and tackled the warlord, dismounting him and taking him to the muddy forest floor. He rolled over and began to stand up, his armor hindering him. He rose and pulled up his shield just in time to parry another blow from the warlord’s massive 2-handed sword. The shock of the impact forced throbbing pain to shoot down his left forearm. Annhyicus went on the offensive, confident that his shield could block most any blow, however painful. He twirled his sword high in one hand once to gain momentum, then clashed down upon the barbarian. Sparks flew as their swords met. Annhyicus continued to take advantage of his one-handed sword and shield to press his attack, though the veteran warlord stopped blow after blow. The barbarian then struck hard against Annhyicus’ shield, pushing up against him and trying to knock him on his back. Annhyicus grabbed him, so as not to fall, and jabbed the blue gem of his pommel into the back of the bearded barbarian,

                    Anhyicus was quite thankful that he reared back, his stinking breath in his face was making him nauseous . The warlord took several steps back, clutching his wound just under his left shoulder blade and feeling th blood run between his fingers. He then went into a rage, charging the young swordsman, and bringing his sword in for a strike, but was blocked by Annhyicus’ own weapon. They dueled for several minutes more like this, sparks flying every time their swords clashed together. The Barbarian, then started to get noticeably fatigued from his rage, and tried to back away, but Annhyicus would not let him. By this time several spearmen and swordsmen, having routed the camp, had noticed the duel and began to gather and watch this fight of almost God-like proportions. Annhyicus rained continuous blows down upon the barbarian, who while backing up, tripped over a root. Though on his butt, he continued to hold his sword up, to block Annhyicus’ incessant blows. Annhyicus, noticing the clumsy parry maneuver by the now vulnerable giant, backed away slightly and angled his sword with much force to broad side the warlords mighty iron sword. And with a shower of sparks, the warlord’s weapon was cut in two. With a sense of hard earned victory, Annhyicus drew his sword back and decapitated the barbarian horde’s leader. On this day, young Annhyicus had his first real taste of mortal combat, and, with little more than a nervous twitch, he performed beautifully.

                    The captain of the infantry, the original lieutenant of the guard, quickly approached the young leader, “Sir, only a handful of barbarians were able to slip past our lightning quick offensive, west into the forest. The general has already dispatched the cavalry to chase them and cut them down. We have also captured a handful of them inside their encampment. Sir, our casualties are minimal. I have never heard in my entire career such successful use of spearmen in such rugged terrain. Your plan worked perfectly sir. I had my doubts initially, about you and your strategy, but now I can see what the general was saying. It is a pleasure to be under your command… uh, what is your title by the way?”

                    “I don’t know yet captain, but we have more important things to worry about now. We must return to the city and setup our government. We are no longer ruled by or Greek-founding city-state, we are self-sufficient now, and I am going to work damn hard to make Navapolis into the flourishing empire it ought to be.” Much of the army had gathered around their leader at this point and cheered at his words. “From this moment on, we are all proud citizens and soldiers of the nation of Navalon!”
                    Last edited by Kramerman; June 28, 2002, 18:14.
                    "I bet Ikarus eats his own spunk..."
                    - BLACKENED from America's Army: Operations
                    Kramerman - Creator and Author of The Epic Tale of Navalon in the Civ III Stories Forum

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                    • #25
                      One thing though, could you please leave lines between the paragraphs? Having the writing so dense makes it quite hard to read.

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                      • #26
                        Fast Forward

                        Ok, basically, the army returns to Navapolis to cheering crowds and Annhyicus is hailed a king. He conducts a very public ceremony to honor those who died during the revolution. He begins a “Honor” Cemetery well outside the gates where all who have served Navalon are buried with honor and remembrance, the first of which to be buried here are his parents and the captain that stood up to Tyranicus in speacial plots (that in the decades to come a massive beautiful tomb would be built here) and everyone else who died in the revolution was also buried here. Tyranicus’ body was put upon a burning raft and shoved out to sea.

                        Many citizens asked Annhyicus of his armor and his past and he explains his encounter with the supernatural. This God quickly becomes the unofficial deity of the new nation and an organized religion, under the development of Annhyicus, is quickly formed. Many citizens fear that word will reach the founding city-state of the rebellion and an army would be sent to take the colony back. Annhyicus, using ideas of what he had learned, quickly organizes a professional army and navy. The army, with spearmen proving to be ungainly in the rough, hilly terrain of the north, was mainly composed of swordsmen who, at this point just used whatever was available for swords and armor. After word arrives that Greece is embroiled in a massive war, with one city-state trying to conquer the rest, Navalon takes a sigh of relief and begins repairing its economy more than prepareing for war.

                        In the mean time Annhyicus traveled north the other colonies along the Adriatic Sea, including Arbos and sent emissaries to the few that doted the Tyrrhenian and Ionian Seas in order to incorporate them, though only a few yielded. After several years of pulling resources from the few colonies that did joined Navalon, Annhyicus completed his first Legion of nearly 5000 highly trained swordsmen supported by hundreds of cavalry and archers, as well as the elite corps of swordsmen known as the Century, made up of Centurions. The Legionnaires at this point were armored by bronze scale mail and armed with short swords, and lances for when phalanx formations could be useful. He had also finished his first effective naval fleet, made of a dozen large biremes built in the shipyard at Navapolis. The Legion was then marched up to the walls of each and every colony that did not submit initially as well as up to those colonies of Phoenicians that were prevalent in the “heel” of Italia. They all fairly quickly surrendered to Navalon with little bloodshed on either side, after the sight of the impressive army begin work on siege equipment and the fleet of war ships sail into their harbors. Within a single year all of the Greek colonies had been brought under Navolonian control semi-peacefully and Phoenician colonies were taken next, but with a little bit more conflict.

                        They would not soon regret it either. Navalon, under Annhyicus’ prudent and benevolent leadership, prospered in everyway. A population boom was triggered by new farming techniques discovered under the Navaolnian inventive spirit. Economic prosperity was gained by the Greek city-states buying food and supplies from their former colonies so that they could support their war. The empire spread out along the south of Italia, many small towns and villages were founded in what was once wilderness. It was at this point Annhyicus decided to shed the city-state system, which he thought promoted secularization when the growing empire needed unity most. Annhyicus drafted a document that guaranteed certain rights to all citizens of Navalon, something no other nation known at that time provided. Shortly after a standard unifying law code was developed and guaranteed other things to the Navalonian citizenry that made them happy, such as a trial in the court of an elected judge and by a jury of fellow citizens, and habius corpus. Annhyicus also developed in this short time span standard currency and also a standard of measurements. J

                        ust a decade after the revolution, the war in Greece was still going strong and the population of Navapolis itself had doubled and began to expand outside its wall. Annhyicus was quick to plot land that would be used in the future for government buildings and such, including a massive library, fortress, government headquarters, and stuff that would all be built in the coming decades, as resources would come available. Right now however, there were higher priorities for national resources…
                        Last edited by Kramerman; June 28, 2002, 04:56.
                        "I bet Ikarus eats his own spunk..."
                        - BLACKENED from America's Army: Operations
                        Kramerman - Creator and Author of The Epic Tale of Navalon in the Civ III Stories Forum

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                        • #27
                          Damn thats alot of writing!
                          But I admit it is kinda fun finally getting to put this down on paper. I mean, I just got Neverwinter Nights, a game I've been waiting for, for like 6 months, and Id rather write right now.

                          One thing though, could you please leave lines between the paragraphs? Having the writing so dense makes it quite hard to read.
                          Yeah, sure thing GeneralTacticus. I've actually been writing this in word and Ive been skiping lines and indenting with a new speakers everytime and all that other stuff my English teachers have always nagged at me about, but it seems when I copy and paste it into the post box, it cancels it out for some reason.

                          I'll go back tonight if i have time and edit all the posts of the story and try to make them easier to read. Thank you very much for bringing that to my attention.

                          Kman
                          "I bet Ikarus eats his own spunk..."
                          - BLACKENED from America's Army: Operations
                          Kramerman - Creator and Author of The Epic Tale of Navalon in the Civ III Stories Forum

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                          • #28
                            This is wonderful! don't stop

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                            • #29
                              This is the greatest story ever! Dude if your not a professional writer already you might want to think about it as a career.

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                              • #30
                                Wow
                                Thanks The Bloody Baro, thats quite a compliment . I take it you were able to visualize the story so far at least as well as I'd hoped. I wasn't sure if I was being to vague or ambiguous with my descriptions. I hope to have time to sit down tomarrow and continue the story. I still have a hell of a long way to go . Thanks again, everybody, for the encouragement!

                                Kman

                                P.S. nice avatar .
                                Last edited by Kramerman; June 29, 2002, 21:09.
                                "I bet Ikarus eats his own spunk..."
                                - BLACKENED from America's Army: Operations
                                Kramerman - Creator and Author of The Epic Tale of Navalon in the Civ III Stories Forum

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