Vox Daily War Report

[Theseus]

Whasssup?

[nbarclay]

Theseus, I know you're eager, but can't you at least wait until Vox gets the save? They haven't even had a chance to see what we did to them yet, much less react to it. (Cue the mysterious, ominous music.)

[Theseus]

Sorry.

[BigFree]

You can tell me Theseus, if you really need to tell someone! In the strictest of confidence of course.


Ever since teams for the PTWDG II have been forming, the updates for this war a getting fewer and farther between. Are the 'embedded' reporter's staying in bed? Wake-Up! Do some reporting!

[rendelnep]

Dear Editor,
I wish to complain about the press coverage of the war between VOx Controli and Glory of War. I am admittedly a membeer of neither team but wish to complain about the abborrently blantant press censorship during this conflict. From what I gather Chickens and cows (which aren't There) are catapulting bananas at mythical immortals (oF which I frankly do not believe IN) while commiting sucide by attacking the enemy. This picture in my humble opinion suggests that either countries both have lead pipeing and as a result are becoming mentally retarded or this war is totally fictional and they are all coming to get us by catching us unaware because they are forming a evil conspircy.
Please, as civilized rational human beings, tell the truth otherwise many foreigners will mistrust you and probably kill you in another confusing and bloody campaign of which the world has never seen.

Yours Angerily,
Rendelnep, Tunbrige Wells, Legoland

[nbarclay]

Unfortunately, there was a mix-up in the embedding process, and Gathering Storm ended up with a lot of embedded fiction writers along with our embedded reporters.

[rendelnep]

So no lead pipeing on your part?

[nbarclay]

Seriously, not much has been going on since Vox's misadventure on the flatlands two or three turns ago. Vox has a stack of immortals on a mountain between two of our cities, and we've started pounding them with catapults in an effort to persuade them that campsites in our territory are not worth the cost for enemy troops. Now we're waiting to see how Vox responds to that. We also sent a couple galleys north to check into the possibility of trying to cut their iron supply, but they seem to have both their iron and the road to it pretty well protected at the moment.

[Shiber]

Originally posted by rendelnep
So no lead pipeing on your part?

We've got plenty of those, but we use them to smack immortal soldiers on the head.

[GhengisFarbâ„¢]

Originally posted by rendelnep
Dear Editor,
I wish to complain about the press coverage of the war between VOx Controli and Glory of War.

Whoah there, buddy. I don't know that I would necessarily consider GoW and GS at war. We had a deal that allowed our ships to travel unmolested and we agreed not to attack GS. A GS member stated in casual conversation that if we ever landed our Horsemen they would kill them.

We landed our Horsemen on an undeveloped hill to get a better view of their interior and they killed them. We never declared war, and while they technicially had to to attack the Horsemen, it was something they said they would do previously so I don't necessarily hold it against them. Whether we are at peace or war is irrelevant as we have no visible trade route.

[BigFree]

I'm sure he meant GS (instaed of GoW), although there's technically a 'state of war' between GS and GoW, isn't there? Or did you donate those horse's for a good roasting? Seeing how all their chickens are busy in battle, the Horsemeat might have been severely needed.

[alva]

We don't eat horses , their riders however

[FrustratedPoet]

@ these posts.

[DeepO]

Originally posted by rendelnep
Dear Editor,
I wish to complain about the press coverage of the war between VOx Controli and Glory of War. I am admittedly a membeer of neither team but wish to complain about the abborrently blantant press censorship during this conflict. From what I gather Chickens and cows (which aren't There) are catapulting bananas at mythical immortals (oF which I frankly do not believe IN) while commiting sucide by attacking the enemy. This picture in my humble opinion suggests that either countries both have lead pipeing and as a result are becoming mentally retarded or this war is totally fictional and they are all coming to get us by catching us unaware because they are forming a evil conspircy.
Please, as civilized rational human beings, tell the truth otherwise many foreigners will mistrust you and probably kill you in another confusing and bloody campaign of which the world has never seen.

Yours Angerily,
Rendelnep, Tunbrige Wells, Legoland

Dear Rendelnep,
We're sorry we can't disclose any sensitive information, but rest assured this war is real. We enjoy talking about bananas and chickens, and don't want to brag about victories, or create false hopes for other teams *cough*GoW*cough* that our forces are weak.

Without screenshots, you could of course believe us at our word of honor, something we of Gathering Storm strongly believe in. But, there is a better method... we released earlier that we gained a leader 2 turns ago, dismissing what Comical Ali aptly called "Voxian decoys" - albeit in the form of a story for you to read. Since then, we have used this leader to build a wonder, that we could not have gained in any other way as it would be too expensive to camouflage with a palace prebuild. You can check this information on your F7 screen, if you wish to verify our claims.

Now, can we please get back to hurling bananas at those alleged immortals? It's a lot more fun, or at least, it is intended like that
(oh, you might notice I'm not that good at creative writing, I'll leave that to others)

DeepO

[notyoueither]

A scene from the chariot race held to celebrate the completion of Sun Tzu's (actually, we call it the Spartan Academy, this Sun Tzu fella is just an instructor with groupies).


Oil on canvas by ixnay