Vox Daily War Report

[asleepathewheel]

Originally posted by Shiber


Damn, how did you know that?

Even though our galleys are manned by children and retirees, they still can move faster than the Vox ships. What does that tell ya?

[FrustratedPoet]

Originally posted by asleepathewheel
Even though our galleys are manned by children and retirees, they still can move faster than the Vox ships. What does that tell ya?

That we have whips, massive massive whips.

[nbarclay]

Originally posted by BetaHound

It is also now apparent that GS has a navy - although, as it is obvious that the infidels must use women to fight ther land battles, their galleys are manned by children and old men pressed into service by the debased leadership which runs the country.

And just think what's going to happen when our young, fit men finally get in on the action.

[Arrian]

All in all, Voxian military leaders are not dissatisfied with the progress of the war. Despite some minor losses - major in-roads are being made into Storm territory.

Come in, come in! Said the spider to the fly.

-Arrian

[Velociryx]

Good to see the avatar back, Beta! In coming turns, you might want to keep some of his more colorful phrases in your mind, adapted to fit the game, of course!

Such notable greats as:

The Voxian Armies have the Infidels of GS completely surrounded. They are comitting suicide in large numbers at the ends of our swords.

GS has no army. There is no sign of any armed presence anywhere inside GS borders. Our troops are in no danger whatsoever. God willing, we will be marching through the center of the capitol soon.

And you have to say something about hitting us with shoes....

-=Vel=-

[Beta]

Vox Daily War Report - From the Voxian Minsitry of Information.

590BC

The Voxian Armies have the Infidels of GS completely surrounded. They are comitting suicide in large numbers at the ends of our swords.

GS has no army. There is no sign of any armed presence anywhere inside GS borders. Our troops are in no danger whatsoever. God willing, we will be marching through the center of the capitol soon.



And we expect there may be a naval battle soon - the world's first - and we are confident that Voxian sailing and warfare skills, to say nothing of the strength of our ships, will prove triumphant. Death to the Infidels. May they prove to be acceptable shark bait.

[asleepathewheel]

Good stuff. Keep up the good work

Very enjoyable

[Panzer32]

I'm still waiting for Vox to actually attack a city!

[asleepathewheel]

Originally posted by Panzer32
I'm still waiting for Vox to actually attack a city!

Yeah, was this the turn? The Vox army was in position. Please let us know I can't wait for lego to pass on the save.

[Panzer32]

They are comitting suicide in large numbers at the ends of our swords.

what?

they are comitting suicide by being killed by others??

[Theseus]

DATELINE: 5:45AM GREENWICH MEANTIME

By: Rajim al-Abouzeid, Staff Reporter - Al Jazeera

The silence is deafening.

All I can see around me are banana peels... banana peels... and more banana peels.

In a surprise tactic, Gathering Storm Special Forces, specifically the 11th Mountain Brigade (AKA "Aeson's Own") strew banana peels, the new and improved B61 Mark 2 Spotted version, on every mountain passage approaching their cities.

Evidently, the Voxian Republican Guard and fedayeen (the white Toyota pick-up guys) never expected it... many slipped to their deaths.

"I zlipped and fell... I yelled "I've fallen, and I can't get up" but no one listened," said one surrendered Vox combatant.

Major General Arrian of the Department of Storming confirmed that the banana peels were in fact positioned using the G.S. G.P.S. system, and that banana 'slippage' was enhanced with laser triggers from low-flying Catapult UAVs.

"We've never been this good before... we know where they are, we know what assets we have locally, including banana peel booby traps, and we can get to Vox at will." General Arrian also confirmed that Vox' slave workers have been responding very positively to a PsyOps campaign focused on the embarassament of the Immortals' standard uniform, known jokingly as "culottes."

For this reporter, Rajim al-Abouzeid, all I can feel is the tension in the air... something must happen soon... everyone hear feels it, even the old lady who cuts my hair and told me all of her Vox customers have been cheating her of tips...

What new tricks await the Voxians? How many of their troops will stand for the fray? How many valiant GS soldiers are ready to risk life and limb to defeat this scourge, and defend the homeland?

How many banana peels yet remain?

The silence, the silence... The horror, the horror...

[Beta]

I love the smell of bananas in the morning. It smells like ... victory.

[vulture]

Vox daily war report - from not quite the Voxian Ministry of Information

Our troops continue advancing, and are now within 1 tile of their capital. Messages smuggled out by carrier chicken indicate that the immortals are expanding the sewer for the capital, and expect to graduate to road building once this job is completed. We are meeting only light resistance, as the soil here is quite loose, and we have been given shovels to dig with. One heroic soilder reports slaying 17 Gathering Storm earthworms in one morning alone.

Further updates as events warrant.

And boy will I look stupid if we open the save to find that Vox have captured one of our cities

[ThePlagueRat]

Exactly how many troops does GS have? Hmm...
Look forward to opening the save... just to see there are no units left to move around.

[Shiber]

Fortunately, GS cities can move around and attack.
Don't ask...