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The Glory of News
All the News thats unfit to print
SPECIAL WAR EDITION!!!
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SPECIAL REPORT
GoW Declares War on Lux!
Trip must be destroyed once and for all.
IMPERIAL CITY - With banners flying, troops goosestepping through the capital's boulevards, aircraft screaming overhead and ships departing to their war stations, the Glory of War pronouced today that a state of war exists with it's old enemy, Lux Invicta. The mobilization orders had been issued months in advance, and millions of young GoWers marched off proudly to serve their country once again. The declaration of war, though highly rumoured, came as a surprise to many, especially considering the sudden return of the self-exiled Emperor Master Zen from a top secret vodka tonic rehabilitation center deep in the mountains of Little Bob. Our correspondent interviewed a number of young soldiers who paraded on the BouleFarb, Imperial City's main thoroughfare:
GoN: "So, who are you going to war against?"
Private Gwar: "Lux, I think"
GoN: "Wasn't Lux destroyed a million years ago?"
Private Gwar: "Umm... really?"
GoN: "What do they teach in history these days then?"
Private Gwar: "Well all I remember is some stuff about chickens and squid..."
GoN: "That was Home Ec class"
Private Gwar: "Yeah, maybe you're right"
In a survey conducted by The Glory of News, 89% of the GoW population still did not know who they were going to war against, 78% thought that Lux still existed, and 58% thought that stormchicken tasted better than squid.
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Master Zen returns! Signs declaration of war against Lego
IMPERIAL CITY - Mysteriously locked up in an alcohol rehabilitation center deep in the mountains of his native Zenophobia, Emperor Zen was finally reinstated in the Imperial Throne after a number of decades of abscence. Though no official declaration has been made public, it is rumored that an addiction to vodka tonics and dom Farbignon wine was the cause of his self-exile.
His first act as Emperor was to sign a declaration of war. When asked why, official spokesperson Gen. Ichy-As simply replied "Because we're the Glory of WAR not the glory of PEACE. The people are sick of so much peace-loving hippie building." After ending the parliament session, a declaration of war was handed out to the Emperor in a multiple-choice format. "We really didn't know who to declare war against so we decided to let him decide for himself" explained Gen. Ichy. When asked why exactly he chose Lego, the spokesperson whispered back: "off the record, he had a thing for Megablocks."
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Ruins of Lux National Amusement Park changed to Ecological Preservation Site
Legacy of Eco-Friendly Emperor
SKULLGARIA - One of the leading attractions in GoW was completely razed to the ground and in its place, an ecological preservation site built. The Ruins of Lux, one of the oldest historical sites in Bob was cleared after a decree from the ecological-minded government of Panzerius XXXII which declared the area a natural heritage site. "We figured that all the horribly mutated offspring of Trip which roamed the hamlets around the park deserved to have their own wilderness, they were scaring the visitors". said Wildlife Marshal Deadrock. Inter-family/pet inbreeding was a common characteristic of Luxian culture. Trip himself is said to be of mixed descent: half human, half very-annoying-and-obnoxious-big-eyed-mosquito. "Preservation of these species is fundamental to the future of our empire's flora and fauna. Where else will you find big furry monsters and giant eyes floating around?".
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Weather Service
Imperial City - Cold and dreary like MZ's heart
Legoland - Hurricane warning
Eye of the Storm - Crying you a river
Roleplay - It's raining squid
Vox Controli - Immortal drizzle
Neu Theben - Golden shower
All the News thats unfit to print
SPECIAL WAR EDITION!!!
-----------------------------
SPECIAL REPORT
GoW Declares War on Lux!
Trip must be destroyed once and for all.
IMPERIAL CITY - With banners flying, troops goosestepping through the capital's boulevards, aircraft screaming overhead and ships departing to their war stations, the Glory of War pronouced today that a state of war exists with it's old enemy, Lux Invicta. The mobilization orders had been issued months in advance, and millions of young GoWers marched off proudly to serve their country once again. The declaration of war, though highly rumoured, came as a surprise to many, especially considering the sudden return of the self-exiled Emperor Master Zen from a top secret vodka tonic rehabilitation center deep in the mountains of Little Bob. Our correspondent interviewed a number of young soldiers who paraded on the BouleFarb, Imperial City's main thoroughfare:
GoN: "So, who are you going to war against?"
Private Gwar: "Lux, I think"
GoN: "Wasn't Lux destroyed a million years ago?"
Private Gwar: "Umm... really?"
GoN: "What do they teach in history these days then?"
Private Gwar: "Well all I remember is some stuff about chickens and squid..."
GoN: "That was Home Ec class"
Private Gwar: "Yeah, maybe you're right"
In a survey conducted by The Glory of News, 89% of the GoW population still did not know who they were going to war against, 78% thought that Lux still existed, and 58% thought that stormchicken tasted better than squid.
------------------------------
Master Zen returns! Signs declaration of war against Lego
IMPERIAL CITY - Mysteriously locked up in an alcohol rehabilitation center deep in the mountains of his native Zenophobia, Emperor Zen was finally reinstated in the Imperial Throne after a number of decades of abscence. Though no official declaration has been made public, it is rumored that an addiction to vodka tonics and dom Farbignon wine was the cause of his self-exile.
His first act as Emperor was to sign a declaration of war. When asked why, official spokesperson Gen. Ichy-As simply replied "Because we're the Glory of WAR not the glory of PEACE. The people are sick of so much peace-loving hippie building." After ending the parliament session, a declaration of war was handed out to the Emperor in a multiple-choice format. "We really didn't know who to declare war against so we decided to let him decide for himself" explained Gen. Ichy. When asked why exactly he chose Lego, the spokesperson whispered back: "off the record, he had a thing for Megablocks."
------------------------------
Ruins of Lux National Amusement Park changed to Ecological Preservation Site
Legacy of Eco-Friendly Emperor
SKULLGARIA - One of the leading attractions in GoW was completely razed to the ground and in its place, an ecological preservation site built. The Ruins of Lux, one of the oldest historical sites in Bob was cleared after a decree from the ecological-minded government of Panzerius XXXII which declared the area a natural heritage site. "We figured that all the horribly mutated offspring of Trip which roamed the hamlets around the park deserved to have their own wilderness, they were scaring the visitors". said Wildlife Marshal Deadrock. Inter-family/pet inbreeding was a common characteristic of Luxian culture. Trip himself is said to be of mixed descent: half human, half very-annoying-and-obnoxious-big-eyed-mosquito. "Preservation of these species is fundamental to the future of our empire's flora and fauna. Where else will you find big furry monsters and giant eyes floating around?".
------------------------------
Weather Service
Imperial City - Cold and dreary like MZ's heart
Legoland - Hurricane warning
Eye of the Storm - Crying you a river
Roleplay - It's raining squid
Vox Controli - Immortal drizzle
Neu Theben - Golden shower
!! 
"
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