The Dance of Civilizations [Diplo Game] [Story Thread Pt1 - August/September 2009]

[Russia (DoC)]

Samo, great friend,

New settlements you made but you forgot to protect them.
It's your enemy that teaches you to build big walls, not your friend, buwhahahaha!

We have built defenses, they just weren't strong enough to withstand an army of 6 axemen.

Now don't write those poems of despair!
We are not after Russia. Hahahaha!
My magician told me that Russia is one of the finest tribes around!
We are not as wealthy as you, though we do protect what we have a lot better! Buwhahahahahahaah.

We are not wealthy, your wicked wizards are decieved. We have no further land to expand. We need what little we have to have as much land as other people's do. And don't forget, our expertiese was settling land and weaving tales. We are not financial or industrius. Even if we had all the land we do now, we would fall behind other nations in just a few centuries.

Do not tell us who should despair. And don't think for a second you shall not despair as well if you do not leave our lands.

Samo, great friend,

Don't be scared little man with your fancy hairband buwhahahaha
When you hand over that little desert village of you, we promise you the following:
- a settler to compensate your losses
- protection to compensate your lack of protection buwhahahaha
- a safe south-western border

What I expect from you:
- Hand over the village
- end war
- Acknowledge all west of the Russia River to be Persian
- Acknowledge Persian dominance over Russia
- Let me march through your lands to teach those ottomans some bronze working hahahaha, they asked some hahahahaha

Maybe we can even make some trade agreements, some axemen for Russian settlers perhaps? You seem to make to many settlers and too few axemen thus this can be our mutual interest HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Oh, and Alexy of the Brits, hahahaha, don't be so happy that the Persian axes moved to the south. When I'm done with Russia I'll come to you to teach you some obedience. My magician tells me that your army is even more pathetic then the Russian one! Buwhahahaha!

Russia, Ottomania and Brittannia, let me tell you one thing, Persia is the strongest and most productive nation on earth!
We will dominate you, if you like it or not.
Accept our dominance and we will handle you as friends and support you, raise up against us and we will keep you small. HAHAHAHA
As we speak spears and more axes are being made. I can send them to your main villages and destroy all the improvements your men made, throwing you back into the stone age hahahahaha.

So just bow your head and accept our supremacy.
Don't think you're too big for that! Buwhahaha because you aren't!

Hastog, the God of Persia

Interesting. You do realize I have already sent messages to the Ottoman and Britannian leadership warning them how you must be stopped now and here lest you crown yourself king of all men... I tought it would be recieved as propaganda. Thank you very much for your confirmation of the truth.


But it is doubly as concerning that you feel powerfull enough to flaunt it. Already one of my advisors has spoken to me saying that the Ottomans and Britannians may not work with us and that it is pointless to sacrifice the Rus to stop the unavoidable. I do not know perhaps it would be better to be the most well treated of the slaves than to be the only one who dies in futility resisting their master.

[Russia (DoC)]

Boooooo
Another message from the divine of Persia, HAHAHAHAHA
My last message is not negotiable! Just hand over the village now Samo! Or I'll take it by force and you'll not get the settler. And as a bonus, hahahahaha, I will bring my axes into your main land and destroy all your improvements!

So what do you want a Persian Settler or Persian Axes? HAHAHAHAHA

I also want to marry Catherine!
You can't refuse! Every father wants his daughter to marry a God! Buwhahahaha!

Catherine is the future heir to the throne. She can not marry a foreigner by Slavic custom. I advise you consider how you speak of her, since tommorow she will be ruler of my people.


As to your original demands... we need some time to consider all our options, we shall not tardy since we are far outmatched but I can not risk a rebelion in my noble's ranks.

[Persia (DoC)]

I have slayed all 'nobles' (buwhahaha, what a fancy word!) before they could rebel, I advice you to do the same.

And what kind of a ruler are you, mr fancy hairband? Change the slavi custom so that she can marry me. If I have to drag her from your home she can't be the heir to your throne (what's that?) anyway! Buwhahahaha

[Russia (DoC)]

I have slayed all 'nobles' (buwhahaha, what a fancy word!) before they could rebel, I advice you to do the same.

And what kind of a ruler are you, mr fancy hairband? Change the slavi custom so that she can marry me. If I have to drag her from your home she can't be the heir to your throne (what's that?) anyway! Buwhahahaha

A simple explanation:

Nobles- people who have weapons and have many relatives that have weapons. They force people who aren't nobles to do as they say. Needless to say the King of our lands is the most powerfull noble.

Throne- a chair of stone made by the gods. A sign that was found in the early years, it is a symbol of rulership. It is said that whomever sits on the stone the gods intend for him to unite all peoples under one house (we use house as a synonym for noble family).

[Persia (DoC)]

There are people in your lands who have weapons? HAHAHAHA Where are they hiding?
And about the throne, I killed our gods and became one myself. BUWHAHAHA.

So marry me your daughter! She can stay in Russia and lead your people. I'll sleep with the maids here anyway HAHAHAHAHA.

[Orb (DoC)]

A scout ran in. “My lord the Persians have taken a Russian city and have declared war on us now.” Alexander looked annoyed and said, “If they want to die then so be it."

[Orb (DoC)]

Persian filth, you have provoked a sleeping giant and now you will feel my wrath. Know this by the time we are done you WILL call Britannia master and you will pay the Russians back for all their losses. You will be given 1 more chance to stop your war with Russia and give them back their city or Prepare for a long drawn out war that you will lose in the end.

Alexander Vi Britannia

[Persia (DoC)]

The Brittanian scout almost begged Hastog for it: "if you wish to start a fight, come do so" Hastog raised his axe and then: "Grrrrr" The scout ran away "BUWhahaha" Hastog laughed "Like hell is running after him" "And as a matter of fact it is! HAHAHAHA" One unit of axemen walked to the Britannian city. To bring the war to them

[Persia (DoC)]

Alexander, I like you! HAHAHAHA
You have about no armies and still you keep your foot down!
You got a lot of courage! It's not going to help you though BUWHAHAHA

We're going to play this little game: "Break the Pride" HAHAHAHA
These are the rules: I send one axemen to you
This Axemen will continue to destroy all your tile improvements, workers and settlers.

You win if: My axeman dies somehow, I will then kneel down for you and let you kill me. Hahahahaha
I win when you come to Persia, bow your head and call me "Master" Haha.

This is enjoyable! BUWHAHAHAHA
So if you want to end this war, just bow your head, Alexander the Proud One! Buwhahahahaa

[Orb (DoC)]

I hope your men make peace with god before they die.

[Rome (DoC)]

Barbarians at the Gate

I Aeneas, Rex of Roma,

proclaim today a great day of victory. Our troups have repelled a barbarian attack that was bearing down on our fertile lands. Captain Marcus Tullus has proven himself and his loyal Auxilia Legion II

[Persia (DoC)]

The Russians have surrendered They are first to acknowledge Persian Dominance Persian axemen move towards Britannia To bring them on their knees as well Through most of Persia and Russia Hastog the Hairy is worshipped As a god

[Russia (DoC)]

The Persian army was truly magnificent. Thousands of strong men with metal armor and heavy axes marched united to the outskirts of the Stprsburg village. The defenders were outnumbered four to one, and the lightly armored spearwielding Russians would not be a match for the heavy shock troops of Persia even if they were equal in number. Samo the headbanded, who was a very passionate man cursed the fates and vowed to fight bitterly to the end.

Samo the headbanded was counseled by his nobles, which was the common title of those patrons who commanded loyalty of many men due to their riches in land, metals or animals.

They were
Patriarch Feodor the Farmer who owned the rich cornfields of Moscow.


Master Mikhail the Metalworker who owned the copper mines of Moscow.


Lady Kira the Cowherder, who owned the pastures of Moscow.

[Russia (DoC)]

Patriarch Feodor said he did not have many men to spare, since the harvest was coming.
Master Mikhail said he would need more time to get enough copper for axe-smithing.
Lady Kira said she did not think the cows would care what happened to Stptrsburg.

Some say even spirits from other worlds counselled Samo. Despite the rumors of what was said and what was not said, Samo realized that the Persians were too mighty to be defeated. Instead he decided to agree to the terms offered and lose Stptrsburg (pronounced [stəpərsburg]). Samo met with the Persian emissary and agreed to a pact. This was said by Samo:

A pact then. Our writerslaves will inscribe two copper tablets, one to stand in Stptrsburg and one to stand in Moscow. It will say in Russian and Persian:

Glory to the Warlord of the Persian and Medes.
Honor to the Overlord of the Rus.

In metal we capture these words to show a pact between our peoples.
The Russians will cede their lands at St.Petersburg to the Persians.
The Persians will let enough Russians in that land leave to resettle. (OOC: Russia gets a settler)
The Persians will send armies to fight for Russia if Russia needs help.

Peace between our two peoples shall exist until the tablets are broken.

Hastog answered:

You write the tablets, we'll learn to read them later.

And so it was done. The marriage between Catherine and Hastoges was not discussed further at that time.

[Inca (DoC)]