Fake News Reporting Thread

[Broken_Erika]

New Financial Report Finds Economy Invincible Forever This Time

MLB Reminds Teams To Properly Dispose Of All Torn Elbow Ligaments

Myth Vs. Fact: Paid Sick Leave

Philip Morris Releases New Single-Puff Marlboro Minis

New Alternate-History Drama Examines What Would Have Happened If Nazis Won 1991 NBA Finals

[Proteus_MST]

The gates of the netherworld have opened and may swallow the WH and the Trumpian government.
Finally, a divine sign

https://twitter.com/thehill/status/999021853204189184

[Broken_Erika]

Man With 20 Rifles Can’t Remember If His Goal To Start Or Stop Violent Overthrow Of Government

[Aeson]

I would like to congratulate Kid on making the most successful thread in Apolyton History!*

*I am not sure this is true, but if not it's still apt for this thread

[Dinner]

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/evgeny-freidman-michael-cohens-business-partner-known-as-the-taxi-king-pleads-guilty-to-fraud/

Michael Cohen, who until recently was the Presidents personal attorney and "fixer" (according to Giuliani Trump has now thrown Cohen under the bus though neither Trump not Cohen have said anything) had a long time business partner a Russian immigrant who is believed to be tied to the Russian mafia. This business partner has now pled guilty to $5 million is tax fraud.

There is no word if he is turning states evidence or not but I would be extremely surprised if his plea deal didn't include required testimony against Cohen. No wonder Trump suddenly is pretending he barely even knew his decade long consigliare... Because with a rock solid case against him Cohen is likely to flip like the ***** he is.

[Dinner]

http://thehill.com/policy/finance/388839-house-votes-to-ease-regulation-of-banks-sending-bill-to-trump

Because Republicans are both corrupt and stupid today House Republicans voted to repeal virtually all the post 2008 banking reforms designed to prevent a repeat of the great recession.

We get the corrupt government we deserve because America is full of people who are as stupid as Kid.

[Dinner]

http://www.msnbc.com/hardball/watch/cohen-s-business-partner-cooperates-in-plea-deal-1239642179831

Confirmation that Cohen's business partner has turned state's evidence. No wonder Trump is panicking and improperly tampering with the Department if Justice right now. His two main lead contacts for carrying his conspiracy with the Putin dictatorship were first Paul Manafort and after Manafort got outed it was Michael Cohen. Both of these men are in Muellers sights and Mueller has brought some extremely iron clad cases against them with both state and federal charges.

Trump has been dangling pardons if his criminal co-conspirators stay quit but he cannot pardon those state level crimes. Manafort and Cohen are both looking at decades in prison, rightly so too, so they are highly likely to crack. Trump knows this, he knows his game is almost up, that the truth will be coming out, and he is panicking.

[Kidlicious]

I would like to congratulate Kid on making the most successful thread in Apolyton History!*

*I am not sure this is true, but if not it's still apt for this thread

I could never have done it without fake news.

[Kidlicious]

[-Jrabbit]

100% fake.

[Proteus_MST]

The Fake News thread definitelyx is the right place for this, because the claim that Denzel Washington has said such a thing is fake news

https://www.business2community.com/entertainment/denzel-washington-saying-donald-trumps-victory-saved-us-orwellian-police-state-fake-news-02007664

[Broken_Erika]

It's also the perfect dumping ground for The Onion articles
New Fad Diet Requires You To Stop Eating For A Full Five Minutes A Day

Men Fired In Wake Of #MeToo Come Forward About How It Took Them Several Hours To Find New Jobs

Facebook Employees Explain Daily Struggle Of Trying To Care About Company's Unethical Practices When Gig So Cushy

5 Things To Know About John Bolton

Is Andrew Luck Fully Recovered From His Quadruple-Amputation Surgery?

[Kidlicious]

Love watching the fake news media make such a big deal about the President tell Americans not to trust the government. Americans already don't trust the government. They don't trust the FBI. They really hate the President tell us we're right. People love it and they are hating the fake news media more and more. Can't wait for 2018 Midterm elections.

[self biased]

Love watching the fake news media make such a big deal about the President tell Americans not to trust the government. Americans already don't trust the government. They don't trust the FBI. They really hate the President tell us we're right. People love it and they are hating the fake news media more and more. Can't wait for 2018 Midterm elections.

quoting for posterity, in the event that the predicted democratic tsunami washes ashore in DC.

[Dinner]

http://www.charlotteobserver.com/latest-news/article211682089.html

Man brings a gun to a dump truck fight and... Loses. The angry man got out of his SUV and started waving a gun around so the dump truck driver floored it and ran the man over. Yeah, he didn't get back up after that.

[Proteus_MST]

You draw a gun you die by the gun ehm dump truck
or should it be:
Never bring a gun to a dump truck fight?