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Chimpanzees granted 'legal persons' status to defend their rights in court

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  • #16
    Originally posted by Hauldren Collider View Post
    Animal cognition is a very interesting and relatively poorly-understood subject
    by you



    Do you have a shred of evidence to post? Or just what you think feels correct?
    To us, it is the BEAST.

    Comment


    • #17
      What do you want, citations for research papers? I can probably provide some later. Animal cognition is an area of a lot of active research, are you really disputing that?

      As for chimps being intelligent, I will cite the following as evidence: find me a chimp able to pass a Turing test. You can't. They aren't smart enough.
      If there is no sound in space, how come you can hear the lasers?
      ){ :|:& };:

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui View Post
        I want Chimp Court!! Make it so
        It'd be more interesting than Judge Judy, that's for sure. A lot more **** would be thrown, shall we say

        I brought that up specifically because chimp reproduction is often incredibly violent.
        If there is no sound in space, how come you can hear the lasers?
        ){ :|:& };:

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by Hauldren Collider View Post
          What do you want, citations for research papers? I can probably provide some later. Animal cognition is an area of a lot of active research, are you really disputing that?
          It took me 10 seconds to google and provide evidence.
          As for chimps being intelligent, I will cite the following as evidence: find me a chimp able to pass a Turing test. You can't. They aren't smart enough.
          Have any more irrelevant scenarios to make up? The strawman is strong with this one.
          To us, it is the BEAST.

          Comment


          • #20
            How is a turing test irrelevant? Give a chimp a keyboard and try to communicate with it. Oops, you can't, chimps aren't smart enough to understand abstract concepts like language. Or only marginally so at best.
            If there is no sound in space, how come you can hear the lasers?
            ){ :|:& };:

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by Hauldren Collider View Post
              Chimps aren't ever going to be as intelligent as even the most seriously retarded 18-year old.
              Want to place a bet on that?

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              • #22
                Originally posted by Hauldren Collider View Post
                I brought that up specifically because chimp reproduction is often incredibly violent.
                Yes, but no one except the media and the plaintiffs are really saying this makes chimps "legal persons". From the article:

                Opponents of Wise’s fight for limited rights for chimpanzees warn that the judge’s granting of the petition does not mean she endorses “personhood” for chimpanzees. Richard Cupp, a law professor at California’s Pepperdine University said “we should avoid reading too much into this document ordering a hearing.”

                “It seems quite unlikely that a judge would intend to make such an exceptionally controversial decision that a chimpanzee is a person without even hearing arguments from the other side,” Cupp said. The suggestion that nonhuman animals are persons is “new terrain for judges”, he added.
                After all, it's just a hearing.
                “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
                - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

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                • #23
                  Toddlers are extremely stupid.
                  I drank beer. I like beer. I still like beer. ... Do you like beer Senator?
                  - Justice Brett Kavanaugh

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui View Post
                    Yes, but no one except the media and the plaintiffs are really saying this makes chimps "legal persons". From the article:



                    After all, it's just a hearing.
                    Ah. Well that's good. I was thinking this is an incredibly unprecedented decision.
                    If there is no sound in space, how come you can hear the lasers?
                    ){ :|:& };:

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Chimps defeat humans in game theory tests:



                      Chimps defeat humans in short term memory tests:
                      Chimpanzees have much better working memories than humans, suggesting we may have underestimated their cognitive abilities.


                      Want more?
                      To us, it is the BEAST.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Hauldren Collider View Post
                        chimps aren't smart enough to understand abstract concepts like language. Or only marginally so at best.
                        I gotta ask. Are you trolling?

                        This is blatantly a false statement. Even children know you are wrong.
                        To us, it is the BEAST.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          My issue is not that chimps are stupid, it's that they are sociopaths.
                          No, I did not steal that from somebody on Something Awful.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Wait until they chimp out on the jury! :rage:
                            Try http://wordforge.net/index.php for discussion and debate.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Yeah, it's not like they're going to take over the world after we blow it up.
                              It's almost as if all his overconfident, absolutist assertions were spoonfed to him by a trusted website or subreddit. Sheeple
                              RIP Tony Bogey & Baron O

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by The Mad Monk View Post
                                My issue is not that chimps are stupid, it's that they are sociopaths.
                                Not that they aren't human?
                                I drank beer. I like beer. I still like beer. ... Do you like beer Senator?
                                - Justice Brett Kavanaugh

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