alcoholism

[Bereta_Eder]

Die tomorrow.
Blink. Lights out. Bye. Nothing.
So what.

Have a toddler that needs you, that's the only insentive

[Bereta_Eder]

Generally life is so silly if you think about it. Because nothing make sense.
Because even the people who have loved you so much can suddendlky cease to exist.
And you too.
Life is silly and without any meaning.

There is no meaning apart that which we give it.

And that is our goals.

Do we knbow our goals?

Are we hard ass so we follow them even if they contradict our present life balance?

And who's gonna be the judge of our ultimate success or failure?

Our sentiment of well being?

Our sentiment of having satissfied the others (which is our sentiment of well being in disguise)

[Bereta_Eder]

epicurus talked about that long ago but who ****s him really

there's the judaic need for striving to achieve a preordaned goal

whereas epicurus was all laughs and giggles



but what can you do.

[Bereta_Eder]

I just think that if I had my dad I would be more "tough" and realistic on life choices.
Whereas now I do what the **** I want.
Not that "realistic" choices make for cool peoploe. Most of them are like little piggies, laughable. Deplorable. Pathetic.

Still a concrete goal would have been layed out for me I think (and would have disobeyed it. hm. but not in a way that would have been against me I guess).

Anyway death seems really nice now, but since I'm no necrophiliac I'm going to have to do with his first cousin. sleep/

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

If I restated my opinion that you have severe psychological problems and badly need professional help for them, are you going to get angry and upset at me again?

[ZEE]

Poor Paiktis

[Bereta_Eder]

I wont get angry at you bugs. And im sorry for going at you

[ZEE]

Please change your name BacK to Paiktis. What the hell is a Bereta_Eder anyways? You are Paiktis and will always Be a Paiktis.

Paiktis.

[Bereta_Eder]

Ill think about it:
Anyway. For 3 years all was okn had my girl. Had job. Looking after the family. I was happy. Andgetting dunk when alone posting crap which i still thinkbyou take too seriously bugs

However these last two weeks the binge drinking have become more frequent.
and financial problems and a certain dead end at the rlationship.
My first point is to relax. Illbprobably take all week off and will not drink. I dont when theres no stress

[Bereta_Eder]

Or do what the SO proposes days now. Going on vacations. With money i dont have

Just pushing the problem and the hard decisions that have to be made further down the road. Kind like the debt of greece hehe.

[ZEE]

so you got real drunk last nite, Passed out, then woke up and got drunk again now? Reminds me of... ME. BacK in the day.

I quit not BecKause of money, or relationshiPs, or work. I quit BecKause I hate hangovers. SimPle as that. I cKant deal with them.

and if it was the old-AAHZ vs the new-AAHZ? New-AAHZ would Blow him out of the water, no-cKontest.

[Bereta_Eder]

Im writing from a tablet im not drunk. The drinking happened once a couple of weeks. But hard. A bottle of wine. Always when alone. I know there are drugs that can subtitute it for stress relaxqtion but i think it happens because im in a dilema about some things.
In this point at time.vi guess im what they calla functioning alcoholic

[Bereta_Eder]

I was listening to a youtube of an old american actor who had problems like this. He said the most truthful things. Its like you are in a ring. With a strong opponent. And you have to be on tthe lookout alwaysbdodging punches. But sometimes he hit you and you.re knockedout. Thats alcohol to me now and for quite sometime

I just dont like my reality very much now and bawically i cant cope. I need a break

[Sava]

Not drinking has saved me probably thousands of dollars over the past three years or so.

It's okay. You've probably spent 10x more on guns and ammo than most people do on drinking.

It's a good thing you don't make a habit of combining the two activities.

[Bereta_Eder]

My only physical confrontation all my life was when a girl punched me on the nose when we were ten