Facebook Etiquette

[Lorizael]

My brother broke up with his girlfriend of five months yesterday. I don't know why, because my brother is pretty private about his love life. In fact, I only found out because his now ex, with whom I'm friends on Facebook, is posting about it. She's also Facebook friends with my parents and, until recently, my other brother.

When my other brother unfriended her, she sent me a message saying, "Are you going to unfriend me too? I rather enjoy reading your blog." An obvious lie, because my blog is boring as hell. Anyway, I haven't answered.

Now she's ranting about my brother on Facebook. She's upset, and that's understandable, and I have no desire to intervene in that. I don't know why they broke up, I don't know who's at fault, and I can't be expected to remain unbiased in the situation. However, there are two comments made by friends of hers that I'm not exactly pleased about. They are:

Sounds like he needs a few failed trust falls. Onto concrete. From the second floor.

and

::hugs:: wow, I don't know what to say...I'm sorry and I hope he steps on a rake...repeatedly.

I know these are just friends offering support, but they're offering support in a way that suggests my brother should suffer physical harm. I really don't think that's cool. So, what should Lori do? What's the proper Facebook etiquette for a situation such as this?

[MOBIUS]

Hook up with the ex - she likes your blog after all...

[Koyaanisqatsi]

What's the proper Facebook etiquette for a situation such as this?

Respond with a cat picture. If that doesn't work, go straight to one of the revenge sites. There is no middle ground.

[Colonâ„¢]

What's etiquette got to do with Facebook?

[MOBIUS]

Tell her on her facebook that every time a friend of hers says something nasty, a panda will die...

[molly bloom]

Send her a picture of a b!tch with puppies.

[Lorizael]

What's etiquette got to do with Facebook?

Good point.

[MikeH]

If in doubt, do nothing.

[Lorizael]

Btw, I'm mostly wondering whether there's any point in me trying to tell people that it's not cool to wish physical harm on my brother.

[MikeH]

Or indeed anyone.

[molly bloom]

Btw, I'm mostly wondering whether there's any point in me trying to tell people that it's not cool to wish physical harm on my brother.

If they're too stupid to understand that of their own accord then all is lost. Wish them well living under Fraggle Rock.

[Colonâ„¢]

You also don't owe the girl anything, so just delete her if her rants annoy you.

[MOBIUS]

I wouldn't take that seriously, they're just venting and rallying around their friend. Both of the examples are jokey anyway and don't sound particularly malicious.

You can reply to her message seeing as she's initiated communications, saying you've no intention of defriending her at the moment as you don't know the background to the split (which may elicit an explanation), however that you do find it uncomfortable her friends wishing harm on your brother...

I imagine her response will set the course of your future relationship with her, if any. I.e. is there any point still being friends now anyway? If you think so, at least you can make the point about the comments...

Also, there is do nothing, however she has already messaged you, so in my opinion it is polite to reply and use it for the above opportunity to mention your unease over the situation.

[MikeH]

you could just talk to your brother.

[MOBIUS]

Also true.