The Ashes 2013

[Tuberski]

Golf isn't a sport, really. It's a hobby.

I've had people argue with me about how strenuous it is to walk 7-8 miles, but I wasn't convinced.

Cricket players wear knit sweaters, 'nuff said.

ACK!

[molly bloom]

Cricket players wear knit sweaters, 'nuff said.

ACK!

That's one of the delightful absurdities of English sport- in Wintertime we play rugby wearing the equivalent of loose underwear and a thin sweater. In summer we don heavy trousers, copious padding and cable knit jumpers. On the other hand, we did just have snow in May time, so there you are.

Having experienced the deep, deep joys of attempting to play rugby in the depths of a very windy, wintry afternoon( the sports teacher had on a tracksuit, a scarf and an overcoat- the fat bast@ard) on our school's playing field (perched on the top of a hill in my home city) I can attest to the fact that apres ski is the best part of any winter sport.

See also Ken Loach's 'Kes' for the unalloyed joys of English school sports.

[Alexander's Horse]

Meanwhile Clarke allegedly called Watson a cancer on the team.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

I love this Aussie team's approach to teamwork.

[Tuberski]

That's one of the delightful absurdities of English sport- in Wintertime we play rugby wearing the equivalent of loose underwear and a thin sweater. In summer we don heavy trousers, copious padding and cable knit jumpers. On the other hand, we did just have snow in May time, so there you are.

Having experienced the deep, deep joys of attempting to play rugby in the depths of a very windy, wintry afternoon( the sports teacher had on a tracksuit, a scarf and an overcoat- the fat bast@ard) on our school's playing field (perched on the top of a hill in my home city) I can attest to the fact that apres ski is the best part of any winter sport.

See also Ken Loach's 'Kes' for the unalloyed joys of English school sports.

John Oliver says that English school athletic wear include shorts with a hole in the front like underwear., is that true?

ACK!

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

There's a national standard on genital access in school sportswear?

[Tuberski]

No American gym shots have flys(flies?).

ACK!

[The Mad Monk]

Well they should launder them better.

[Alexander's Horse]

Unfortunately life is starting to imitate art.

Warwick Todd libre!

Allan Border:

"Whether it's out on the paddock, behind the bar, on international plane flights or in disciplinary hearings before the ICC Toddy never gives an inch. It would be safe to say no one has prized his baggy green cap with more guts and determination than Warwick Todd. And whenever I see an oversized pair of Bolle wrap-around sunglasses, facial hair and a cocky sneer out at the crease I'll know that Australia is in good hands".

Dean Jones:

"Like me he's had a few run-ins with authority, ruffled a few feathers, put the odd nose out of joint. But the occasional assault charge will never stop this big-hearted Aussie, a man with green and gold blood pumping through his veins. And you know what? Beneath that tough exterior there lurks a big-hearted softie. I remember heading to South Africa together in '94. The in-flight movie was Bridges of Madison County and looking across to where Toddy was sitting I swear I detected a tear in the big man's eye. Turned out the cabin attendant had just informed him the bar was closed".

http://www.oocities.org/todd_warwick/

It all started back in 1989 when Toddy made the Australian cricket squad for the first time. But his childhood is where the dream started. Todd recalls back when he was a kid, learning to play cricket at school and home.
"Then of course there were the backyard 'Tests' I played with my brothers Phil and Graham and the other neighbourhood kids. We had an elaborate set of rules worked out:
1) One hand off the fence is out.
2) Over the fence is six and out.
3) If you're out first ball, you're not out (girls only).
Having systematically destroyed Mum's garden we eventually shifted our games to the street, where a new rule was introduced:
4) The player facing the oncoming traffic must call 'car' (we lived on a pretty busy road).
Of course, all of us playing back then dreamed of one day representing Australia, but as it turned out I was the only one who had the talent and commitment to achieve that goal. Phil became an accountant and Graham's spent most of his life in a wheelchair after an unfortunate breach of Rule 4."

Warner, Watson and co. are clearly living the dream...pity about the Ashes...

"Dad was my first coach, and he was very strict. Some of his methods bordered on the illegal. Not that he ever pushed any of us Todd kids into cricket. We were always given the choice, between playing or getting beaten with a length of electrical cord. Putting him into a home was one of the hardest decisions we ever had to make, but with two kids and nowhere else to store my trophies we simply had to free up the spare room. It was either Dad or the billiard table".

"Whenever I'm dismissed I always make a point of either cursing loudly, knocking over the stumps, glaring at the umpire or tossing my bat. Sometimes all at once. Frankly, I think you owe it to the kids watching. That said, expressing disappointment at getting out can sometimes land you in hot water. A match against South Africa at the SCG last year springs to mind. I was given out in pretty dubious circumstances and as I was heading off the field, I kicked one of the South African's helmets about 10 metres in the air. Result: a $10 000 match fine. And I was also forced to apologise to Adam Bacher, who was wearing the helmet at the time. So you've gotta take care".

Remind you of anyone? Or any eleven?

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Chris Broad used to throw some great tantrums when he was out. It's especially funny seeing as he's now a top test match referee.

[Alexander's Horse]

Looks like batsmen making lots of runs has become unfashionable this summer.

It has always been unfashionable with me. I was a bowler.

[molly bloom]

John Oliver says that English school athletic wear include shorts with a hole in the front like underwear., is that true?

ACK!

Not from my recollection. In fact, one of the few satisfactory things about cricket was watching the better looking chaps don their jocks and boxes.

I knew a Welshman at school who did wear rugby shorts with a button fly, but he was the only one. And these were short shorts, none of those flapping DKNY bedsheets that your modern sorts prance about in.

As I recall one boy had swimming trunks with a fly. Most curious.

[C0ckney]

exciting first day, i thought that england were going to collapse, but they seem to have steadied themselves.

[MikeH]

Is anyone else struggling with the concept of having an Australia captain who actually seems like a good bloke?

His speech after the defeat in the last test was great. Good talker in the run up to this test, and some really brave, interesting captaincy so far in this bowling innings. Makes a change from the unbearable leatherface.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

No wonder he's unpopular.

And I'm still unhappy that they're playing with four bowlers again. Faced with this Aussie team, that's hubris. If Anderson starts struggling, we're in big trouble. I would have dropped Bairstow in favour of Onions.